10 Things To Do While Waiting for Diablo 3 Servers to Work

You cleared your schedule. You called your boss and told her your foot had gangrene, you told your parents you were joining the Peace Corps, you told your significant other that you were all rashy and light-sensitive. You were free of obligations, fully prepared for Diablo III.

And then Error 37 happened. And then Error 3006.

So now you’ve got all this free time on your hands, and what to do with it? We’ve compiled 10 quick suggestions to help kill the time while Blizzard figures out how to add the number of sales of a game and subtract the number of players a server can handle.

10. Actually Join the Peace Corps

Or, you know, volunteer in Africa, or even at a nearby Habitat for Humanity. How about a local soup kitchen. School bake sale? …Hell, how about just doing your own dishes in your own house? Be the change you want to see in your kitchen.

9. Reconnect with Those Closest to You

If you’ve found you’ve let some relationships atrophy with, you know, grandparents or long-lost siblings or best friends from high school or whatever, now might be the perfect time to call them up and see if they’re able to get into a Diablo III server. Er, I mean, find out about their lives. You might even find you enjoy a human connection more than an online one.

8. Take Up Yoga

That’s not a joke. Did you know that not only is yoga good for your joints and helps with weight loss and muscle tone, but that it has been shown in studies to help fight depression? Seriously — yoga will make you happier. If you can handle doing it while wracked with sobs over Diablo III, it might help make you feel better.

7. Read a Book

No, I’m not talking about a Diablo III strategy guide, either. (Book of Cain is a gray area.) I’m talking about a book that can be edifying and help you grow as a person, because seriously, you’re like an intellectual hunchback of Notre Dame right now. Our own Ross Lincoln suggests The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire. Me, I’m partial to anything written by Nicholas Sparks.

6. Learn About the Platforms of Political Candidates

Did you know that the U.S. uses a form of government known as “representational democracy” and that we regularly elect officials to carry out our political will in that government? There’s even an election coming up this year! You could use this time to do a little civic engagement and find out what those Biff Roomey and Rock Bama fellows are all about. Achievement unlocked if you vote in a local election ([seriousface] You should actually do that, it affects you more than national politics [/seriousface]).

5. Learn to Play an Instrument

Did you know it only takes about 10,000 hours of practice in order to become proficient in a new skill? Put another way, like 1/10th of the amount of time you’d spend playing Diablo III could get you playing the guitar — and maybe attracting a member of your preferred sex for, uh, hooking up. That’s what the kids call it, right?

4. Have a Party

Guess what — all of your friends are also free, because all of your friends have also been waiting most of their lives for Diablo III to come out. Since you’re all stuck sitting around, why not have a party? You could even make it Diablo-themed. After 20 minutes, shout “Error 3006!” and kick someone out at random. Or theme it after Error 37 and just leave your doors locked when everyone shows up.

3. Hunt Demons For Real

You already have all the skills, after all, and if there’s anything that popular movies and television shows have taught us, it’s that there’s a whole hidden world we’re not aware of that’s out there, lurking. You might do some real good in the world! Just make sure you’re hunting actual demons and not, you know, going crazy and chasing around innocent civilians or something. We know being parted from Diablo III can take a toll on one’s sanity.

2. Write Angry Posts on the Diablo III Official Forums

Oh, you were already doing that? Nevermind.

1. Play Max Payne 3

It’s just out there waiting for you. And it’s sad because you’re ignoring it.

What’re YOU doing when you’re not playing Diablo III? Leave your suggestions in the comments.

Follow Hornshaw on Twitter: @philhornshaw.

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8 Comments on 10 Things To Do While Waiting for Diablo 3 Servers to Work

Patches

On May 16, 2012 at 2:30 pm

Playing Torchlight…

Russell

On May 16, 2012 at 3:56 pm

The servers have been up since ive been up at 8am est, they were up most of the day yesterday with only like 2 outages. I think Blizzard has been doing pretty well, especially considering they did tell people to expect server congestion and disconnects..

Jeff Mills

On May 16, 2012 at 6:56 pm

I have kind of the opposite feeling about it. They’ve been around for a few decades now and have had very large launches in the past. Pretty much every WoW expansion was a big deal.

Diablo 3 should have had hardly any issues at all at launch. They knew the numbers to expect on the server well before launch. Sure, congestion at peak, but severe downtime (as in at least 4 server restarts and horrible lag at sporadic points throughout the day) is something that absolutely could have been prevented.

I cannot use a product I purchased properly because of these issues. Therefore I have the right to complain about it. I refuse to be sympathetic to a multi-billion dollar company simply because they put on a friendly face. They have the financial resources to prevent this sort of issue from happening yet they chose not to use them.

Russell

On May 17, 2012 at 5:59 am

Also, people need to lighten up alittle bit, go outside and enjoy the fresh air. I know it sucks not being able to play a game that you waited (until 3 am eastern, than 5:30 am eastern cause servers were overloaded) and paid 60-100$ for.

Blizzard DID make a post saying the servers WILL be bogged down, and limited and/or shut down for maintenance if need be. I find it hard to believe that so many people are getting pissed off about things that they cannot control. Its like blaming the weather guy for predicting sunshine and 80 degree weather for the rest of the week, you go plan to goto the beach and wake up to pouring rain and thunderstorms..

happens..

Phil Hornshaw

On May 17, 2012 at 8:36 am

@Russell

Not to nitpick, but this isn’t just like, “oh, whoops, it’s raining.” Blizzard is responsible for the servers and has had months of beta testing to figure out what the loads were going to be like. This isn’t a case of bad luck. Blizzard sold a product under the impression that people buying it would get to play it. I really don’t think it’s crazy for people to be upset about it. Either Blizzard was incompetent or they didn’t care enough about their customers to spend the money to make sure the game worked. Neither is a very pleasant thought.

Russell

On May 17, 2012 at 10:22 am

@Phil

I agree with the fact that they could have been more prepared. Technical issues are always going to arise, especially when you have different configurations and scenarios of use. I am sure you have played WoW, or atleast have read about how notorious Blizzard is at botching the big patches, and the servers going back down for hours or being completely unplayable.

Its bound to happen, just like how EA cant seem to get the netcode right for ANY of their Battlefield games. Its also very possible that there was ALOT more people than Blizzard thought, trying to connect to the game. We will know when they release their numbers for the amount sold. I would not be surprised AT ALL if it were in the millions.

Phil Hornshaw

On May 17, 2012 at 10:52 am

@Russell

I’m sure you’re right, lots of players. And technical issues happen. But in all cases with game developers (and EA is another good example), I can’t really feel too bad for them. Releasing working games is their business. They shouldn’t take our money if they can’t handle delivering the product. It’s one thing if there’s some unforeseen or unforeseeable trouble. Overloaded servers is something else entirely. Blizzard knows precisely how many copies of Diablo III it sold. There’s really no excuse unless something blew up or was sabotaged or something.

Russell

On May 17, 2012 at 1:01 pm

@Phil

Somebody didn’t feed the hamster its nitro tablets…