15 God-Awful Video Game Commercials (LIST)
Sure, many of us know how fun video games are today. But for some people, virtual entertainment is frightening and confusing. How does it work? How susceptible is my brain to being liquefied from constant play? Will pixelated blood trigger my own, instinctual, unquenchable blood-lust?
Game companies have had to battle this stigma by establishing that video games are fun. And not just regular life fun. Like exploding from the TV, destroying your living room, melting your face fun. And that means actors have had to portray just how mind-blowing the experience of controlling a picture of something projected on a screen using a variety of button combinations could be.
Behold 15 of the most terrible, non-funny, awkward and insulting game commercials ever to grace your television.
15. Michael Jackson: The Experience. Most fun ever. EVER.
Look, I know the job of a commercial is to make a game look fun. And it’s hard to resist classic Michael Jackson tracks. Makes sense.
But these actors are really earning their paychecks. They’re beyond having fun – they’re having an orgasmic good time with that Wii remote. Ignore the fact that the game’s hardware is incapable of picking up any dancing that doesn’t directly involve the remote itself – you will be so good people will mistake you for Michael Jackson. Clearly you should kill yourself if you can’t afford a Wii, as you will never experience joy like this any other way.
14. Wii Sports totally brings families together
This commercial isn’t bad, per se – except for being a total distortion of reality. Yeah, maybe in Beaver Cleaver Walton-ville, whole families get together for super-happy and fun sessions of Wii Sports.
In the real world, these spots are totally unrealistic. Reshoot this commercial with the mom stumbling through Wii Tennis with a scotch in her other hand and the dad screaming at the kids for letting down the team. Plus it needs no fewer than two controllers exploding against the wall after being flung in frustration-fueled rage. Then it will resemble an actual family Wii experience.
13. A nightmarish living baby doll! Oh, and a PS3.
Let’s see. We’re one of the biggest console sellers in the world, the Playstation has an enormous fanbase, and we’re about to drop a machine that is more powerful than anything our competitors are making. How should we market it?
For Sony, apparently this is how. By creating a spot that’s equal parts WTF and horror movie introduction.
I half-expected M. Night Shyamalan’s name to appear somewhere in there before the end.
12. Kids think rap is cool, so they’ll buy Link’s Awakening…right?
What is it with the early 1990s and terrible, terrible rap songs?
There are so many fails involved in this spot, it’s hard to count them all. Someone thought this idea up. Someone filmed it. Someone picked that location. Someone equated all these urban, industrial visual ideas with a Gameboy game in which you play some kind of fairy boy fighting monsters. Someone wrote that rap about Zelda.
But they all got off easy, because there’s only one guy who’s face is attached to it all – the poor schmo who took the acting gig. That paycheck was not worth it, guy.
11. Bad special effects to go with bad 3DO graphics
Guess how real the Panasonic REAL 3DO is? So real, in order to really drive the point home, some marketing genius ripped off a bunch of cliches from cartoons that had been around for decades by this point. Brilliant.