The Top 5 Most Devastating Viruses in Video Game History

As long as there have been people, we have been getting our asses kicked by viral outbreaks. In the 1300s, black plague wiped out 1/3 of Europe. In 1918 more than 20 million people worldwide died from the flu. Yeah, that The Flu. Nowadays, we have sci-fi viruses like HIV that actually short circuits your immune system, or Ebola, a viral illness that literally makes you sweat out your internal organs. No wonder then that even as doomsday scenario fads come and go, the one we always return to is the viral pandemic. It’s so ingrained in the human experience we’ve found a way to shoehorn it into practically any kind of horror story. Vampires? Virus did it. Zombies? Virus did it. Nuclear war? Virus did i- ok, maybe not, but it’s only a matter of time before someone comes up with a plausible Viruses-use-nukes story.

But the scariest viruses of all are the ones in Video Games. Not content with merely wiping people out or turning them into supernatural creatures of legend, game viruses give people angina, turn them into invincible killing machines, even render them sterile! Face it, if you want to survive the next global pandemic, you need to be prepared, and that means you’d better fire up your gaming system and get to playing. Here are the top 5 most devastating viruses in video game history. You’re welcome.

5) Green Flu

The Game: Left 4 Dead

Why it’s deadly:

Green Flu turns you into a zombie. Repeat: If you catch Green Flu, you turn into a zombie. Later, you might mutate into an even scarier mutant zombie. Oh, also it’s airborne and transmittable by bite, so pretty much everyone on earth is a potential victim. The only cure is a shotgun blast to the face, except that there’s no real point in even that because frankly, you’ll probably turn into a zombie just for having breathed the same air.

The worst side effect of Green Flu? It causes 8 year old kids to be way, way better than you are at both co-op and versus play in Left 4 Dead, guaranteeing you will never be able to enjoy online gaming again.

4) Foxdie

The Game: Metal Gear Solid

Why it’s deadly:

The Foxdie virus is as serious as a heart attack. Literally. It causes people to weaken and die via cardiac arrest regardless of how healthy they are. No biggie, at first, since it only affects people with a certain genetic predisposition.

Unfortunately, Foxdie is given to Metal Gear Solid protagonist Solid Snake as a final F-you from Dr. Naomi Hunter for his having killed her brother. Problem with that plan? She manipulated the virus so that it would act unpredictably so as to torture Snake with never knowing how long he had to live. That manipulation caused the virus to become a hell of a lot more contagious, turning Snake into a walking doomsday machine likely to infect everyone he comes in contact with. Good job Doc, way to totally flub the Hippocratic oath. Ass.

3) The Chimera Virus

The Game: Resistance: Fall of Man

Why it’s deadly:

In Resistance: Fall of Man the Chimera are an race of outer-space alien invaders who intend to do to Earth what the Europeans did to the New World, only with Space WEAPONS! Their secret weapon is the Chimera virus, an infectious disease that takes ordinary human beings and turns them into totally disgusting looking human-alien hybrids. Thanks to their space alien ways and germ warfare, they pretty much lay total waste to the nations of Earth.

And that’s just wrong, y’all. If only humanity had participated in that vaccination drive last fall!

2) The G-Virus

The Game: Resident Evil 2

Why it’s deadly:

What’s scarier than zombies? Regenerative zombies that breed like insects, that’s what! People infected with the G-Virus turn into gigantic, unstoppable killing machines who look like horrible monsters. They develop regenerative capabilities on par with X-Men’s Wolverine which makes them nearly impossible to kill. They also gain the ability to implant the virus into other people via insertion of – shudder! – an infectious larvae. An outbreak of the disease essentially killed the entire population of Raccoon City during the events of Resident Evil 2 and was barely contained when the final infectee was blown up on an escaping train.

If you’ve played the rest of the Resident Evil series, you know things do NOT get better for the Earth.

1) The Genophage

The Game: Mass Effect

Why it’s deadly:

In the Mass Effect universe, the Krogan are a reptilian race known for being extremely huge, extremely fertile and extremely good at ass kicking. They were so good ad mating and killing, in fact, that they eventually began to overrun the rest of the galaxy. Faced with explusion from their homeworlds or even extinction at the hands of the Krogan, the Galactic government did the most ethical thing ever: They infect the entire Krogan population with the Genophage, a viral infection that rendered the Krogan species 99% sterile.

So why is it deadly? Soon after, the Krogan killed themselves off in a series of pointless civil wars resulting from the lack of fertile females. Their numbers are dangerously low just as a race of invincible space robots called The Reapers have invaded. Great job, Galactic government. Bet you wish you had those fearsome Krogan warriors, now that the invincible space robots are back and itching to kill all organics. Right?

Next time, just invest in a public awareness campaign about birth control.

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