Aperture Science Explains Valentine’s Day Gift-Giving (VIDEO)

Wow, so you can pre-order Portal 2 now! Woo woo whatever. I think I sorta assumed you could already do that, but I don’t pay attention to such things because I don’t pre-order games. Oh, we’re talking Steam. You can pre-order it on Steam. I’m dumb. Too dumb to edit out my brain cramps even before I publish a post.

Oh, and today is Valentine’s Day, or so the jewelry store ads tell me. This is always an exciting day; my date this year is a bottle of Crown Royal, and I’m hoping we’re gonna go all the way tonight. Some people enjoy actual social interaction, though, and that’s who this video is for; it’ll explain the pros and cons of various gifts men can give to their ladies of choice on this, the grandest of all shamelessly exploitative holidays. And I’m not just calling it that because women won’t touch me unless I pay them to.

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