Casting the Diablo 3 Movie
Despite the rocky start, it looks like Diablo 3 is settling in to become the massive hit that everyone expected it to be. And though the uncertain status of the World of Warcraft movie provides a cautionary example, we got to thinking: what if they made a Diablo 3 movie? And, more specifically, if they did, who would star in it?
Some disclaimers: we cast only a single gender for each of the player characters, picking the gender more prevalent in Blizzard’s promotional efforts. We also limited ourselves to characters from Diablo 3 in the interest of brevity. And we realize that no actual movie would be able to include such an array of actors, but where’s the fun in that? Finally, this post contains a few !!SPOILERS!!
Barbarian – Mickey Rourke
Sure, there may be more massive options, but as The Wrestler demonstrated, Rourke can be physically imposing while also looking old, weatherbeaten, and haunted by tragedy. As a bonus, the fake beard will cover most of his wacky plastic surgery.
Demon Hunter – Kate Beckinsale
We tried to avoid the blindingly obvious in this list as much as possible, but we had to relent in this particular case. The female Demon Hunter is cleary inspired by Beckinsale’s raven-haired character in the Underworld series, and she’s probably used to wearing skin-tight leather outfits at this point.
Monk – Mark Strong
Strong has the bony face and the bald head, and we think he’d do a good job capturing the Monk’s uncompromising world view. He and Mickey Rourke can hang out together while getting their fake beards attached.
Witch Doctor – Djimon Honsou
Blizzard’s visual portrayal of the Witch Doctor is perhaps not the most sensitive, and we had to tread carefully with this choice. On the other hand, we liked the wisdom and sly humor of the voice acting, and Hounsou’s Oscar-winning chops and natural Anglophone African accent make him a good fit.
Wizard – Grace Park
Already a nerd favorite from her time on Battlestar Galatica, Park could convey the cockiness of the Wizard, while also looking great in her more revealing armor sets.