Comment of the Week: Why Would You Want Captain Needa?

We’ve had a number of robust and interesting discussions on Game Front in the last week (seriously — our community is pretty awesome, and rarely throwing out racial slurs or personal attacks! Way to go, everybody, I think we’re winning the Internet!), but there was one that struck me as both brilliant and hilarious.

Over on the post that went up today discussing mods for FTL: Faster Than Light that allow players to add different ships to the game, including an Imperial Star Destroyer from Star Wars, commenter Zach went full Star Wars nerd for us. He deliciously eviscerates the crew of the Star Destroyer for their many Empire Strikes Back failings:

“Why would you want Captain Needa?

He couldn’t spot a YT-1300 Stock Light Freighter if it was hanging off the back of his Imperial II-class Destroyer.

You have Ozzel in there too?? He’d throw away all tactical strategy if he thought he could get the element of surprise.

The only competent one is Veers and he lost his legs taking Hoth because he was to stupid to dodge a snow-speeder.”

Curiously missing is the only guy who didn’t get blown up (in Empire) or choked out by Darth Vader — Piett, the guy who took over for Ozzel as admiral after Vader executed him.

Also, how sweet would it be to have Vader to send over to enemy ships and murder people? Get on it, modding community.

Anyway, thanks to Zach for coming out swinging with a compendium of Empire Strikes Back knowledge to apply to that situation. Made my morning, anyway.

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