Disney Announces “Star Wars: Hunters of Jar Jar Binks”
Disney World, Florida – November 8, 2012 – LucasArts Entertainment, a division of The Walt Disney Company, today revealed Star Wars: Hunters of Jar Jar Binks, a revolutionary role-playing game set during Star Wars Episode 1: The Phantom Menace. Players will take on the role of bounty hunters sent to assassinate everyone’s most hated Star Wars character before he can ruin the franchise forever. All sales proceeds will go towards creating a new prequel trilogy and striking all traces of the current prequel trilogy from existence.
“We understand that Star Wars fans have concerns about the future of the franchise, and we wanted to assure them that we will never let something as abominable as Episode 1 happen again,” said Mickey Mouse, spokesmodel of The Walt Disney Company. “We’re excited to be offering a first glimpse of Hunters of Jar Jar Binks for visitors of Disney World starting December 21, and we look forward to sharing more information with everyone as development progresses. Oh, Boy!”
In Star Wars: Hunters of Jar Jar Binks, players will be able to use an arsenal of cruel and unusual weapons to hunt and eventually kill Jar Jar Binks, from arm-mounted flamethrowers to rusty chainsaws. Players will earn morality points for committing acts of good and evil throughout the course of the story, with the game culminating in a final moral choice: kill Jar Jar and save the Star Wars franchise, or spare his life and cause untold suffering throughout the universe.