Editorial: Video Games Not the Only Threat to Student GPAs
Do people in your house have trouble viewing even the most simple web pages because you’re sucking up so much bandwidth downloading questionable content?
Your GPA could be in danger.
GamingToday did its own independent study* of the pornography downloading habits of student-age individuals and found that, much like the recent findings of the National Bureau of Economic Research, downloading pornography for forty minutes per day instead of studying correlates with a lower GPA.
“Before I went to college, I had to be real careful about when I downloaded [pornography] on my family’s computer in the den,” Matthew Evans, an 18 year-old freshman at an Ohio university, said. “Now that I got my own laptop and the school’s connection in my dorm room, I noticed that my hard drive is getting full.”
When asked if downloading pornography was a bigger factor in non-studies than video games, James Woods, Professor of Economics at an area New York universtiy, said that it depended on the variety of pornography which students downloaded.
“I’ve noticed that if students download with all girl-on-girl action, they definitely are more affected than video games,” Woods said. “I mean, that’s just really hot.”
Of the students interviewed, 45 percent said that since coming to college, they were downloading more porn than they had when they were living at home, which made them study less. 24 percent said they were an only child, but found out that they “could totally use their mom’s credit card to pay for this.” 16 percent said that their parents had started taking dancing lessons to work on their failing marriages, which allowed them more alone time and caused them to study less. 22 percent denied downloading pornography, in which case GamingToday assumed the students were lying, and added their statistics to, say, the group that downloaded more porn since coming to college.
Three percent went to Brigham Young University, and the spyware which was involuntarily installed on their computer blocking out most of the internet to keep the students safe from the outside world would not allow them to access sites with pornography.
However, there were also those who disagreed with our results.
“Saying that downloading pornography actually lowers students’ GPAs is absurd,” Mariann Edwards, Professor of American Studies at a Harvinceton University, said. “Students could have been doing anything with their time instead of studying. They could have been, I don’t know, playing video games or something.”
Still, it is apparent that this is a rather large problem among students, and it’s not one that is going to soon go away. And Matthew Evans knows this all too well.
“I totally have this big test coming up in Pre-calculus,” Evans said. “I know I should be studying, but I found this totally hot girl on Limewire who does this really awesome thing with an electric toothbrush.”
*GamingToday did no such study. It may or may not be true that one or all of GamingToday’s writers has downloaded any illicit material on the internet, or has any experience or knowledge about students’ downloading habits of such subject matter.