Farmville Makes Woman Kill A Baby
Um, (CLEARS THROAT), yeah, so, uh, this woman in Jacksonville, Alexandra Tobias (pictured), was playing Farmville on Facebook. And this baby, Dylan Edmondson, was crying. Alexandra, being a horrible piece of s**t, picked up Dylan and shook him. Dylan wouldn’t shut up, and so she had a smoke to calm down, and then didn’t calm down, and then she shook Dylan some more until he died.
Thankfully, she’ll have plenty of time to not do that again, because she plead guilty yesterday to second-degree murder, so she’ll spend a while in prison, although how long is anyone’s guess.
Let’s just calm the hell down, everybody. Jeez. This is even worse than video game football murder.