Game Front Announces Layout Redesign
Click image to view a full-size version of our new site layout!
GameFaux is a recurring series on Game Front, all about
fake important game journalism and parody serious commentary.
Today, gaming news mega-corporation Game Front announced an upcoming, multifaceted site redesign, the goal of which is to make the site as big and unreadable as possible.
“Mobile, tablet, desktop, wherever you are, we want you to have a really hard time reading the site,” said Mark Burnham, Editor-in-Chief at Game Front, from his private yacht.
“It’s a competitive marketplace,” he continued, “and gone are the days of just being able to read a site like a normal human being.”
“These days, you need to blow up the site to 300% and make everything insultingly big. We’re getting on that.”
Ad revenue is projected to increase by 729% following this layout change.
“We were concerned about the reports from readers that our content was distracting from our ads,” said Burnham. “We’ve added unreadable content, larger ads, and even animated .gifs to combat this.”
NEW LAYOUT FEATURES:
800% more Comic Sans! Why did this font ever go out of style? It’s so welcoming!
New widescreen layout! No more wasted space on the sides of your screen!
Live chat room! Chat live with other readers with a new chat box that is built into every page!
Image thumbs! All images in a post are now embedded as thumbnails near the top, rather than spread out throughout the text where they can distract readers.
Page counter! Find out if you’re the first to read one of our posts with our state-of-the-art page counters!
New text formatting! Font type, size, color and more now vary widely throughout a post in order to keep the reader excited!
And more! Because more is better!