Game Front’s 2012 Arbitrary Awards

Here at Game Front, as at many outlets, we come up with our favorite games in a variety of categories each year and work to share them with you, the readers. Amid all that judging of the best ofs and whatnot, we come across a lot of great things we wish we could recognize, but that don’t have an official category.

So that’s what this is all about: The Game Front Arbitrary Awards. Here, the staff comes together to make sure video games and their developers get a quick shout-out for things that really matter, such as Achievement in Digital Sand-Courseness, Best Angry Animal Attack, and Most Convincing Blood-Gurgling Death Rattle by a Voice Actor.

Check out our award winners below, submitted, judged and approved by the Game Front staff at large. If you don’t see something important on this list that absolutely deserves recognition for greatness in video games this year, please — throw it in the comments. We’ll see about getting more trophies manufactured.

Best Sand – Spec Ops: The Line
Best Toilets – Dishonored
Best Watercolor Concept Art – Guild Wars 2
Best Indoor Lighting – Horse-head torches, Lord of the Rings Online: Riders of Rohan
Best Use of Boobs to Make a Point About Video Games – Far Cry 3

Best Stealth Assassin – Tiger, Far Cry 3
Best Unrepentant Creeper – Brad Dourif, Dishonored
Most Obese NPC – Borderlands 2/Dark Souls: Prepare to Die Edition (Tie)
Best Hooker – The One Spreading the Clap to Every Single Pirate, Far Cry 3
Best Depiction of Decadent Nobility – Crusader Kings II, Dishonored (Tie)
Shiniest Bald Head – Agent 47, Hitman Absolution / Tyrael, Diablo III (Tie)
Best Carrie Fisher – Voice of Carrie Fisher, Dishonored

Best Knife – Hotline Miami
Best Crossbow – Battlefield 3: Aftermath
Best Neckwear – Journey
Best Vehicle – Giant Ball of Yarn, Saints Row The Third, Professor Genki DLC

Best Base Jumping – PlanetSide 2
Best Pokemon Ripoff — er, Homage – World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria
Best Completely Incomprehensible Use of Dubstep – Every Game Trailer (tie)
Best Pratfalls – The Walking Dead
Best Self-Referential Joke About Pratfalls – The Walking Dead
Best Arranged Marriages – Crusader Kings II
Best In-Game Pub – Dishonored
Best Playable Instruments – Max Payne 3
Best IQ Test – The Generator, Tribes: Ascend
Best Souffle Joke – The Testament of Sherlock Holmes
Most Convincing Blood-Gurgling Death Rattle by a Voice Actor – Dishonored, Far Cry 3 (tie)
Best Unrepentant Torture – XCOM: Enemy Unknown (because f–k those aliens)

Best Vaporware – Skyrim DLC for Playstation 3
Most Complete Inability to Understand Your Core Audience’s Inevitable Reaction – Maxis, (Reddit AMA about SimCity)
The Easter Bunny Award for Most Easter Eggs – Borderlands 2
Best Literary Adaptation – World of Warcraft: Mists of Pandaria, Kung Fu Panda
Most Eldritch – The Secret World
The Illuminati’s Game of the Year – Grim Fandango

Those are our picks for a few of the most arbitrary things we could think of, but obviously there’s plenty of arbitrariness to go around. Give us your picks!

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3 Comments on Game Front’s 2012 Arbitrary Awards

Evernessince

On December 21, 2012 at 8:05 pm

Have to say this:

Best Sweet rolls – Skyrim

made even sweeter by the Static Mesh Improvement Mod.

Aedelric

On December 22, 2012 at 11:39 am

`Most Complete Inability to Understand Your Core Audience’s Inevitable Reaction – Maxis, (Reddit AMA about SimCity)´

Not ME3 Bioware? Surprising.

A lot of these put a smile on my face as they are quite true.

Mass Effail

On December 24, 2012 at 12:37 pm

Best menu – Sleeping Dogs. Seriously, the amount of food you could eat in that game had me salivating. I’d happily have a pork bun and y fish balls for Christmas dinner this year.