Mass Effect 3: Female Shepard Romance Guide

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Get your groove on, girlfriend, because it’s time to dress to impress on the Normandy. A variety of lusty lads or lovely lasses are available for Female Shepards everywhere to woo into a serious, full-time relationship. Monogamy is the rule in the future, so make sure to pick one and only one true love for each playthrough. Otherwise, scroll down to get our tips for a successful romance in Mass Effect 3.

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SPOILER WARNING: Mass Effect 3 Spoilers Ahead!

Every Romantic Partner Revealed

Male Shepard Romance Guide

NOTE: All serious relationships are final! You can only have one romantic relationship. Trying one will nullify others.

Rule of Thumb: Always choose Polite or Paragon choices while talking to potential partners. Generally, those are the upper choice, with Impolite or Renegade options below.

Female Shepard Romance Guide


  • Prerequisite: None
  • New players or players with a previous relationship with Liara from ME1 can romance Liara. Early on you’ll be able to declare your interest in rekindling an old relationship if you’ve imported a save file.
  • Early in the game, you’ll be able to find Liara near the cafe in the Presidium Commons. Talk to her there to build intimacy and trust, and before completing the missions on Tuchanka.
  • Speak with Liara enough between missions, and eventually she’ll request to speak with Shepard in your cabin. Invite her up and discuss her time capsule.
  • Later on, she’ll send an e-mail requesting to meet on the Citadel. If you’ve built up enough intimacy, you’ll be able to commit to a serious relationship now.
  • Whether committed or not, after visiting Liara’s homeworld, make sure to speak with her.


  • Prerequisite: Garrus must survive the events of ME2, and you must start a relationship with him in ME2.
  • After Garrus joins your squad again, if you’re playing Female Shepard and imported a save where you were romantic with Garrus in ME2, he’ll mention rekindling your relationship.
  • Speak with Garrus in the main battery of the Normandy, and meet him in the Citadel whenever you can to talk. He’ll usually send you an e-mail, check them regularly and stop by when he e-mails and requests to talk.
  • After the missions on Tuchanka, you can talk to Garrus in the cockpit. You’ll be able to keep talking to him between missions, just keep checking and choosing friendly responses that indicate your interest in a relationship.
  • Once enough trust is built up, Garrus will offer to meet in the Citadel. From there, he’ll ask you to commit to a serious relationship.


  • Prerequisite: He must survive the events of ME1.
  • If you were in a previous relationship with Kaidan, you’ll have extra trust already established, but you’ll still need to convince him you’re serious during the first mission on Mars. Choose Paragon responses to reassure him of your loyalties.
  • After he’s hurt, you’ll be able to visit Kaidan in the Huerta Memorial Hospital on the Citadel. Visit him during your first arrival, after the mission on Palaven, and before completing Tuchanka.
  • Talk to him often and build up intimacy so that he trusts you during the battle in the Citadel. Like Ashley, you can bring Kaidan a gift while he’s in the hospital — a bottle of Peruvian Whiskey from the store console in the lobby.
  • If you started a relationship with Kaidan in ME1 but switched to a new partner in ME2, he’ll be offended. Make sure to apologize! Otherwise, you can start a new relationship with Kaidan.
  • Build enough trust and Kaidan will offer to meet you in the Presidium Commons after he joins you on the Normandy. If he doesn’t push for a serious relationship, you can.


  • Prerequisite: None
  • Just like Cortez, Traynor is available at the beginning of ME3 once you have control of the Normandy. She’ll always be onboard in the CIC, right next to the Galaxy Map.
  • Talk to her between missions to exchange friendly banter. Be polite, and eventually she’ll mention her interest in Chess. Agree to play Chess with her later.
  • Eventually, Traynor will request to see you in your cabin. Invite her up and suggest Traynor use the shower (!) after she brings it up. Then you’ll have the chance to commit to a serious relationship with Traynor.

Dianna Allers

  • Prerequisite: None
  • During your first visit to the Citadel, you can find Dianna in the Normandy Docking Bay. Speak with her, be polite, and invite her onto the Normandy.
  • From there, visit Dianna after each mission to give interviews in the Normandy. If you visit her enough, eventually you’ll build some intimacy.
  • Once you have her interest, and after the Priority mission on the Citadel, she’ll request to meet up in your cabin for a private interview. From there, you can make a pass at Dianna and seal your serious relationship status.

Have some romantic tips? Want to tell us about your favorite romance? Leave a comment below.

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35 Comments on Mass Effect 3: Female Shepard Romance Guide


On March 10, 2012 at 1:54 am

Hello, VERY VERY IMPORTANT Question, can you really romance ashley with femshep, i am at the junction point with liara (i had a relationship prior in me1) but it will decide if i stay or leave her, and the only reason i chose liara, was because she was the only lesbian choice (and i killed kaiden, so she was my only choice :p) PLEASE ANSWER!! CAN FEMALE SHEPARD, F E M S H E P ! ROMANCE ASHLEY WILIAMS???? YES OR NO????? please, and thanks in advance!!


On March 10, 2012 at 1:59 am

also, good question, in me3 can yo romance tali, jack, ect. with female shepard? (just to be absolutely clear, ^^^^^ my first question reguarding ashley/femshep is for MASS EFFECT 3, mkay?) thank you.


On March 10, 2012 at 5:59 am

No, you can’t romance Ashley with Femshep in ME3, and that’s a good decision. If you played ME1, you remember that Ashley is devoutly religious. While there are /some/ devoutly religious /bi people in the universe, it’s safe to say they’re the exception and not the rule. So shoehorning that into Ashley’s character would have been a bad creative decision.

Overall, I quite like how the romances were presented in ME3. Wish there could have been a few more options for Femshep, but I’m happy to have a couple of nice looking ladies to choose from :) As a lesbian myself, it was always my incentive to play through ME2 as Maleshep – to bed Miranda ;\ I was a bit worried when I heard that ME3 would have same-sex romance partners that it would be a case of “in space, everyone is bisexual,” but it’s not. Allers is bisexual. I guess Kaidan is too. I might have my Maleshep romance him to see how it works – I wonder if there is any kind of ‘coming out’ dialogue considering he was a romance option for Femshep in ME1 but not Maleshep. Cortez is . Traynor is lesbian. Everyone else is straight. That’s pretty much representative, and I appreciate it.

The squadmates from ME2 cannot be romanced except by an imported character that romanced them in the previous game. This includes Tali (and Garrus, for that matter), so they won’t go both ways. Jack and Miranda don’t become permanent squad members so it would be a bit awkward and difficult to start up romances with them in ME3.


On March 10, 2012 at 5:59 am

^ should have said “/some/ devoutly religious /bi people”


On March 10, 2012 at 6:00 am

Okay, does this website just eat the word g.a.y.? That’s ridiculous, especially when it’s on-topic like this (I didn’t think I left it out).


On March 10, 2012 at 10:25 am

That’s too bad. I was really looking forward to romancing Ashley with my FemShep. It feels a bit unfair that femsheps get so few options. And about Ashley’s religious beliefs, I don’t think it would have been such a big reach to consider that she could fall in a love with a woman. I may be wrong but I don’t think that there is any indication that her religion has anything against homosexuality. And a comparation to present day religions would be wrong since the game is set in the future and the mentality of humans may not be quite the same. However i may be wrong because i haven’t read the entire available in the game


On March 10, 2012 at 9:22 pm

Making Ash bi was the least they could do after that ending. Now that I know she isn’t an option I’m not sure if I’ll bother with another single player run. The gameplay really isn’t that different from ME2 and I liked the plot and endgame much better. They really should have given femshep some better options. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I like Garrus and all, but lets face it- he looks like the skeleton of a burnt cat, Thane is dying of a terminal illness, Jacob’s romance is a dead end- argh! Then take one of the hottest guys in the game (James Vega) and make him NOT an option, and Dianna looks more like she’s on her way to a tennis lesson than a news report… So that leaves Liara & Traynor who I can’t find a reason to complain about, but her overall options still feel limited to me. ALL THAT TIME SEARCHING and it turns out my femshep’s pent up sexual frustration was the catalyst to destroy the Reapers!


On March 11, 2012 at 9:13 am

Not to upset that Ashley straight remember it’s all the Alien Asari contact that has gotten rid of most of the homophobia and Ashley are not big fans of Aliens or there customs.On the Citadel there is a woman say to a Asari how she was Dead to her family for being .

Ashley reflects that view point, Hates (in the beginning of ME1 hates Aliens, never really likes em) wants to do this as Humanity only mission, from a military family ,traditional Values and Old time religion ,If she lived in are world would be a Republican and Voted Bush.

And you got to figure there are some Straight people left , simply bc there Straight lol!


On March 11, 2012 at 1:57 pm

Damn you! I want my femshep/tali !! Guess i’ll just ‘settle’ for liara…..poor poor liara.


On March 11, 2012 at 7:56 pm

Why can femShep only have girls…. Why no guys. Guess I will stay away from that part of game….


On March 11, 2012 at 8:34 pm

Hey Ana,

Female Shepard has -two- heterosexual choices: Kaidan, and Garrus. Kaidan is an optional human character that can die in ME1, but if you never imported your save you can choose to keep him alive in ME3. Garrus is an alien that will always join your squad, but is only a romantic option if you had a romantic relationship with him in ME2 and imported your character into ME3.

Not a huge selection, I know. Hope that helps!


On March 12, 2012 at 10:10 pm

Can you still romance Kaidan even if you didn’t romance him in ME1?


On March 13, 2012 at 11:41 am

People pleas help , i think im bugged seeing that liara isnt responding at all in the presidium commons even after she asked me to visit her , so my question is : Can i romance her after visiting her home planet? (Hoping she will respond)


On March 15, 2012 at 12:43 am

Yes, female Shepard can romance Ashley with a little bit of cheating.
In ME1 start a game as male with default face, then use command console “setgender 1″. Romance Ashley in ME1, then play through complete in ME2 then you can romance Ash as female Shepard in ME3. Some of the romance cut scene dialogue has male Shepard’s voice, but it’s not too distracting. This also works in ME2 for Miranda, Jack, etc.. In ME3 I’ve only tested this with Ashley but I assume it will carry over to ME3 with ME2 pre-requisite characters like Jack and Miranda.


On March 16, 2012 at 9:45 pm

It’s pretty sad that while straight male Shepard can choose among six women, straight female Shepard can only have two out of which only one is actually interesting (and he’s an alien). Thanks a lot, Bioware.


On March 16, 2012 at 9:46 pm

“Two men”


On March 21, 2012 at 5:30 pm

It would have been easier for Bioware to have the exact same romance options for both Menshep and Femshep because the dialogue options and voice overs would be the same instead of customizing programs. I guess women and those that prefer same sex romance should be grateful for the little we get. After playing Bioware’s SWTOR as well, I am disappointed that Bioware is still catering to the largest gaming market share, men.


On March 23, 2012 at 10:23 am

I’m a little down that there aren’t more male choices. I was working to romance James when I discovered that you cannot…not to mention I killed Kaiden. So I cant romance him. I didn’t important a ME2 character so garruss is out…so I have to romance a female or no romance at all. They def should have given us a couple more guy options…even if they weren’t human. They aren’t catering to the female players very well.


On April 5, 2012 at 5:29 pm

Female Shepard , can still Romance Thane aswell in ME3, if you did romance him in ME2 . though he is not on in your squad.

Thane <3


On May 17, 2012 at 9:31 am

well this explains why i couldnt get james to date me. and i didnt import so no garrus… and i cant get kaiden either… ughhh im not dating a blue woman….sorry liara. i did hit on joker at the bar when we were talking about edi but that didnt go anywhere either…ughhhh


On July 5, 2012 at 6:50 pm

I want to play as femshep and have manshep options. This gamer has never had interest in sack. The only option I have is Liara. Because when I picked Traynor, she wanted kids. I hope she was wanting to adopt because my Shep would dump her before she got pooted in to have babies. I would pick Liara anyways I guess because she wasn’t contaminated before. Ah well manshep/Tali and femshep/Liara.


On July 14, 2012 at 3:21 am

This is ing ridiculous. ME1 you get 2 options each, ME2 you get 6 options each (5 really, but whatever), ME3 femShep still gets 6 and male Shep gets 9. Three extra, how unfair is that? And who in hell thought it was a good idea to leave Vega off the table? BioWare, I love you, but seriously?


On December 27, 2012 at 11:23 am

You can also romance Jack. Just make sure that in all conversations (Academy, Purgatory) you give her hint that you want her back. The conclusion is in the Purgatory (though, disappointingly, similarly to Liara’s conclusion it is not explicit).

Jairah Dianne

On February 1, 2013 at 6:49 am

If u only just started playing ME3 , can u still have a relationship with Kaidan?? I just discovered the ME Trilogy and I’ve become sooooo into it!! Any tips??

Kevin Thielenhaus

On February 1, 2013 at 1:38 pm


Yep, you can totally still romance Kaidan if you start a new game in ME3 without loading a previous save file. When Kaidan is in the hospital, make sure to visit him — and bring a bottle of Peruvian Whiskey from the Sirta Supplies store in the Citadel. Offer the gift, and confirm you’re looking for a little romance in the ensuing conversation.


On May 4, 2013 at 4:19 pm

What the f*ck! Am I doomed to be a lesbian, just because I didn’t import a character? I feel as though my only choice is that damn Jersey Shore inspired Vega. He’s not bad, but… Really? Is that it? I’ve been with Garrus exclusively in the Friendzone.


On November 20, 2013 at 2:58 am

Am not happy dat d female character sherpard can’t date James, why ?


On April 16, 2014 at 5:55 am

Is Bioware pushing (straight as a ruler) Female Gamers to become lesbians? Im not sure why’ they’re doin this, but come on WTF Im no homophobe ( I have lots of friends) but it sucks to know that the games pushing you to become an absolute . I just wish if they did it yeah they should put up a FOREVER ALONE achievement just to give me some peace da.

I have questions though since they’re killing Thane with his Kepral Syndrome can I still romance him?

I have Kaidan as Paramour in ME1 and Thane in ME2 and can you keep them both since Thane will be dead and after that you yourself in the corner. Can you possibly have Thane and Kaidan at te same time? Im just experimenting though no need to bicker my cheating.

Devoutly Religious

On September 22, 2014 at 9:08 am

You know what is not fair? That femShep has fewer straight relationship options than a male… If we are speaking about the devoutly religious Ashley.


On September 23, 2014 at 6:03 pm

To BlahBlahWhiner, you probably have found out by now but no you can’t have them both. Something I discovered is that if you’ve had a relationship with someone in 2, you don’t get the option in 3. But then that might be because I said to Thane that Kaidan and I had once been together and it ended badly. Lets face it, they make Kaidan (or Ashley) total bastards in 2. Kind of hard to want to stay devoted to them for 3.

To all who find Garrus repulsive in appearance yeah he’s no hottie but I’d take him any day because he’s sweet, romantic, loyal, and he has your back through all 3 games.

Notes to BioWare: I think Javik and James should be romanceable (actual romanceable… not “Sunday Morning after” romanceable where you just wake up next to them and neither party wants it mentioned…) I agree with the others the femsheps have too few males to have relationships with. I’m not homophobe but I’m straight as can be… to the point I can’t even play a male character!! Another thing… bring back the dress from the DLC in 2 that you get with Kasumi. That is an awesome dress while the dress you have in 3 makes you look like you have a big ass…. just saying the other dress and shoes were so much better. Especially for the tango if you romance Garrus.

Other thought to people who are so focused on Garrus’ appearance: he puts a lot of time and energy to find out how to make it work…. he watches vids (not just the dirty ones that Joker gives him), studies human customs to see how you’re supposed to act in certain situations, he learned how to tango… what does Kaidan do? He keeps ragging on you about Cerberus, fully and completely not even letting up until the robot takes him out, making up excuses as to why he keeps doubting you. You defeated the Collectors, you went to Earth to face judgement (no real choice due to game set-up, not to mention even if you don’t do the quest that results in the destruction of a galaxy of Batarian, you end up “grounded”. I understand being upset at finding someone you loved 2 years after they “died” working under the colors of the enemy…. but really as an Alliance soldier he could see what the Alliance was doing, what the Council wasn’t doing… even after that time you’d think there would still be some of that sweetness and belief in you left from 1. Another thing: he may be more sculpted in 3 but I still think he was better looking in 1….


On November 10, 2014 at 7:35 pm

Can a male Shepard romance with Samantha Traynor? Im a Tali kind of guy but my brother has it for Traynor.


On November 10, 2014 at 7:52 pm


“Can a male Shepard romance with Samantha Traynor? Im a Tali kind of guy but my brother has it for Traynor.”

No. She is only into women.


On November 10, 2014 at 10:29 pm

Well sucks for my brother, thanks for the info.

Ron Whitaker

On November 11, 2014 at 5:41 am

When I first heard this, I figured they were basing it on sales. Then I found out they did a mini-poll, and it was a true WTF moment.