Mass Effect 3: How To Romance Kaidan

One of the few Biotic Humans in the Mass Effect universe, this tech-psychic has an open mind to go with his broken heart. His days of shy awkwardness in ME1 are gone, he’s grown into a competent and tactical soldier. But, he’ll still need some support from Shepard when he expresses a vulnerable side privately. Don’t let this confused Alliance ally wallow in self-pity, you need to be there for him! Save Kaidan’s self-esteem, and save the galaxy. Learn about how below!

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SPOILER WARNING: Mass Effect 3 Spoilers Ahead!

Male Shepard Romance Guide

Female Shepard Romance Guide

NOTE: All serious relationships are final! You can only have one romantic relationship. Entering one will nullify others.

Rule of Thumb: Always choose Polite or Paragon choices while talking to potential partners. Generally, those are the upper choice, with Impolite or Renegade options below.

How To Romance Kaidan


  • Prerequisite: He must survive the events of ME1. Kaidan is a partner option for both Male and Female Shepards — the romance plays out exactly the same way.
  • If you were in a previous relationship with Kaidan, you’ll have extra trust already established, but you’ll still need to convince him you’re serious during the first mission on Mars. Choose Paragon responses to reassure him of your loyalties.
  • After he’s hurt, you’ll be able to visit Kaidan in the Huerta Memorial Hospital on the Citadel. Visit him during your first arrival, after the mission on Palaven, and before completing Tuchanka.
  • Talk to him often and build up intimacy so that he trusts you during the battle in the Citadel. Like Ashley, you can bring Kaidan a gift while he’s in the hospital — a bottle of Peruvian Whiskey from the store console in the lobby.
  • If you started a relationship with Kaidan in ME1 but switched to a new partner in ME2, he’ll be offended. Make sure to apologize! Otherwise, you can start a new relationship with Kaidan.
  • Build enough trust and Kaidan will offer to meet you in the Presidium Commons after he joins you on the Normandy. If he doesn’t push for a serious relationship, you can.
  • Like every serious relationship, it reaches a climax (cough) just before leaving for the final mission. Don’t worry, once Kaidan agrees to a real relationship, he won’t turn you away now.

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Mass Effect 3 Walkthrough Playlist (w/ Mitch – FemShep Paragon)

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7 Comments on Mass Effect 3: How To Romance Kaidan


On March 10, 2012 at 10:27 pm

Gaaaaaah, I got Kaidan to meet me in the Presidium Commons but my femsheep said something akin to “You’re like my brother.” AHHH. Is this because I romanced Jacob in ME2? Damnit.


On March 11, 2012 at 2:11 pm

if shephard said “like a brother”. will kaidan do romance with him ?


On March 14, 2012 at 8:15 am

I had the same conversation as Sam, and when I got to the night before the fight with The Illusive Man, I spent the night alone!


On March 20, 2012 at 1:51 am

What if I forget to bring him the gift,Peruvian Whiskey? Will i miss something?


On March 20, 2012 at 3:27 pm

If you flirt with other people too much, Kaidan will say he is like your brother and not romance you! Don’t tell Cortez to take shore leave – that will preclude a Kaidan romance!


On March 21, 2012 at 1:23 pm

Telling Cortez to take shore leave does NOT preclude a Kaidan romance. Cortez won’t be locked in as your love interest until you flirt with him in the Purgatory bar. It came to a point where I could have the “lock-in” conversation with 3 different crew members at the same time (Kaidan, Cortez & Liara), but as soon as you pick one the others go back to friend mode.


On May 11, 2014 at 11:36 am

Ugh I went looking on how NOT to romance this tool so I figure I’ll do all the opposite. I love THANE dammit it’s I over with kaiden he so needs to move on. Even though thane dies. Jerks