Mass Effect 3: Male Shepard Romance Guide

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This one goes out to all the lovers out there. Put down the huge sci-fi gun for a minute and turn the testosterone dial all the way down, because Commander Shepard can hook up with all sorts of characters during his third adventure across the sea of stars. Between missions, you’ll have a chance to talk to various women (and men!) to discuss all sorts of super-manly stuff — like feelings, emotions, and longing. Pick your mate, because you only get one, and check out our tips below for wooing your perfect partner. All is fair in love and war, after all.

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Every Romantic Partner Revealed

Female Shepard Romance Guide

Male Shepard Romance Guide

NOTE: All serious relationships are final! You can only have one romantic relationship. Trying one will nullify others.

Rule of Thumb: Always choose Polite or Paragon choices while talking to potential partners. Generally, those are the upper choice, with Impolite or Renegade options below.

Garrus Bro-mance

  • Check out the Female Shepard Romance Guide to learn more about wooing Garrus! It works the exact same way with Garrus, just with less romance.


  • Prerequisite: She must survive the events of ME1.
  • After the early events of the game, Ashley will spend time in the Huerta Memorial Hospital. Visit her between missions, choosing Paragon responses (Upper!) to show her interest.
  • Old romances from ME1 can be rekindled, or new Male Shepards can start fresh.
  • During the early conversations before her injury, make sure to choose the Paragon options as well.
  • Even when she’s unconscious in the Citadel, visit her and offer some kind words anyway. While there, you can purchase a special item, a Tennyson Collection, at the store terminal in the hospital lobby. You may have to wait until she’s awake to purchase and gift the special item.
  • Visit her; during your first trip to the Citadel, after the mission on Palaven, and a third time before finishing the Tuchanka missions. Afterwards, she’ll be ready to rejoin you.
  • After Tuchanka, and during the mission in the Citadel, you’ll want your trust high enough so Ashley will side with you during the ending confrontation.
  • If you were in another relationship in ME2, you’ll need to apologize and confirm that you’re interested in Ashley.
  • After she joins again, eventually she’ll offer to meet at the Presidium Commons. If she doesn’t push for a serious relationship, you can. With that, you’ll be well on your way to sealing the deal.


  • Prerequisite: None
  • New players or players with a previous relationship with Liara from ME1 can romance Liara. Early on you’ll be able to declare your interest in rekindling an old relationship if you’ve imported a save file.
  • Early in the game, you’ll be able to find Liara near the cafe in the Presidium Commons. Talk to her there to build intimacy and trust, and before completing the missions on Tuchanka.
  • Speak with Liara enough between missions, and eventually she’ll request to speak with Shepard in your cabin. Invite her up and discuss her time capsule.
  • Later on, she’ll send an e-mail requesting to meet on the Citadel. If you’ve built up enough intimacy, you’ll be able to commit to a serious relationship now.
  • Whether committed or not, after visiting Liara’s homeworld, make sure to speak with her.


  • Prerequisite: She must survive the events of ME2, and you must start a relationship in ME2.
  • Tali appears during your first diplomatic meeting with the Quarians. While sharing a personal moment, rekindle your old relationship by confirming your interest.
  • Speak with her again immediately afterwards, she’ll be in the CIC. Later, you’ll be able to have more intimate conversations with her during the mission on her former homeworld.
  • During the missions around Rannoch, Tali will request to visit Shepard’s cabin. Invite her in with your computer, and she’ll ask if you want to continue their relationship.
  • Make sure to call Tali up to your cabin before completing the Reaper Base mission on Rannoch, or you’ll miss your chance with Tali.


  • Prerequisite: She must survive the events of ME2, and you must start a relationship in ME2.
  • If you entered into a romantic relationship with Miranda in ME2, you’ll have the option to rekindle it in ME3.
  • Early, after the Mars and Turian homeworld missions, she’ll contact you and request a meeting in the Citadel. Speak with her at the Normandy docks.
  • After the Priority mission on the Citadel, you’ll be able to speak with her in your Spectre office. She’ll request to talk in person in the Presidium Commons apartments. Visit her, and if you’ve been polite, you’ll be able to commit to a serious relationship.


  • Prerequisite: She must survive the events of ME2, and you must start a relationship in ME2.
  • To find Jack, talk to Specialist Traynor in the Normandy. She’ll tell you about Grissom Academy. Visit the station and you’ll find Jack during the concurrent mission.
  • Choose the Paragon responses during the mission, and afterwards on the shuttle, wait for a Paragon event and trigger it while the students cheer.
  • Afterwards, she’ll send you an e-mail requesting to talk in Purgatory. Get to the Citadel and meet her, where you can discuss your past.
  • During this scene, agree to a serious relationship to commit.


  • Prerequisite: None
  • One of the easier romantic options for Shepard, he’s available at the beginning of the game in the Normandy.
  • Talk to him often between missions by visiting his post in the cargo deck. Keep talking between missions, until you find him working on one of the dropships. He’ll discuss stress, suggest that he take some time off at the Citadel.
  • Cortez starts in the docking bay, where you can have a discussion with him. After that, he’ll move to the refugee area, where you can continue the intimate conversation.
  • If you were nice, Cortez will e-mail you and request to meet at Purgatory, the club on the Citadel. Talk to him there commit to a serious relationship.

Dianna Allers

  • Prerequisite: None
  • During your first visit to the Citadel, you can find Dianna in the Normandy Docking Bay. Speak with her, be polite, and invite her onto the Normandy.
  • From there, visit Dianna after each mission to give interviews in the Normandy. If you visit her enough, eventually you’ll build some intimacy.
  • Once you have her interest, and after the Priority mission on the Citadel, she’ll request to meet up in your cabin for a private interview. From there, you can make a pass at Dianna and seal your serious relationship status.

Have some romantic tips? Want to tell us about your favorite romance? Leave a comment below.

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50 Comments on Mass Effect 3: Male Shepard Romance Guide


On March 8, 2012 at 3:33 am

Male Shepard also can have a relationship with Kaidan Alenko, and without the use of hacks or any modification. The romance goes the same way it goes for Ashley.


On March 9, 2012 at 10:10 pm

@Deh: I think I chose the wrong option at the Apollo restaurant scene. Now Kaidan only replies with one-liners :/


On March 9, 2012 at 10:13 pm

The relationships are so damn nasty!


On March 10, 2012 at 1:51 am

Hello, VERY VERY IMPORTANT Question, can you really romance ashley with femshep, i am at the junction point with liara (i had a relationship prior in me1) but it will decide if i stay or leave her, and the only reason i chose liara, was because she was the only lesbian choice (and i killed kaiden, so she was my only choice :p) PLEASE ANSWER!! CAN FEMALE SHEPARD, F E M S H E P ! ROMANCE ASHLEY WILIAMS???? YES OR NO????? please, and thanks in advance!!


On March 10, 2012 at 1:46 pm

Sadly, FemShep cannot romance Ashley Williams! Only Kaidan Alenko and Liara are available for both Male and Female Shepards.

Again! FemShep CANNOT romance Ashley Williams.

Technically! You have some options still. If you’re a female character, you can still romance Liara and Traynor. Also, Dianna! … okay, yeah, that’s weird that FemShep only has ONE new-player heterosexual romance option, for an optional character, Kaidan.


On March 10, 2012 at 5:20 pm

“Old romances from ME1 can be rekindled, or new Male Shepards can start fresh.”

I believe only Male Shepard can romance her.


On March 11, 2012 at 6:30 pm

I having trouble trying to romance Ashley. I did not buy her a gift to give at the hopital and now I can’t get anything going. Is buying her a gift a must?
I visited her like 3 times at the hospital and have been nothing but ncie to her. Did I mess up somewhere?


On March 11, 2012 at 8:35 pm

Hey Joe,

Buying Ashley is gift is NOT required to have a romantic relationship with her, but it does help.

Just give it some time. How far along are you in the game? Sometimes it can take several missions before she’ll want to talk again.


On March 12, 2012 at 12:11 am

If i started a new game on ME3 ca i still romance Tali or Miranda?


On March 12, 2012 at 9:32 am

I think I did something wrong,I visit Liara after each mission,now she only says like,”Commander,” and all that,giving me one-liners.Help?I’ve been in a relationship with Liara from ME1,because I think Asari are very sexy.


On March 12, 2012 at 1:16 pm

Hey DP,

Sadly you cannot romance Tali or Miranda with a new game. You’ll need to romance them in ME2 then transfer your character into ME2, which is a real drag!

Hey Vlad,

Sometimes your Romantic Partner won’t talk to you for long stretches between missions. If she won’t talk yet, it probably just means you need to push forward with the story. Liara is probably still cool with you!


On March 12, 2012 at 9:45 pm

I don’t know where I messed up. I told both alley and miranda I wanted to rekindle tree riddance. I had previous relationships with them both. Had both meetings where it says I can commit and didn’t get the options during either of them. Now I don’t have either romance. What did I miss? Ashley sided with me, meet miranda in her room. And also, I never got the romance option for diane allers either…make shepard play through. Carry over from me1 and 2…


On March 13, 2012 at 12:59 pm

So I like collecting my characters and therefore I carry on 3 relationships at once and I was wondering how long this can continue for in ME3, I unlocked the paramour achievement for Liara, but my 1st choice is Miranda, 2nd is Ashley, 3rd is Liara, I’m not sure if they’ve become more aware of relationships in ME3 but I keep getting “one liners” from Ashley, havent done mirandas mission and I am getting one liners from Liara as well and I was just going to hit it and quit it with Diana Allers when the time comes. Ashley and Miranda are 2 completely different roles so how do I develop both before they find out?


On March 14, 2012 at 4:55 pm

hey, i had a relationship with Tali in ME2, but had relationships with neither Liara nor Ashely in ME1.Just wonder after importing my ME2 save file, if i can start a new relationship with Ashley or Liara in ME3 while giving up Tali?


On March 14, 2012 at 5:05 pm

Hi Raymond,

Yes, you can start a new relationship in ME3! You’ll just need to confirm you’ve lost interest in Tali with Ashley or Liara in conversation, and you should be good to go.


On March 15, 2012 at 1:03 pm

I romanced Ashley in ME1, was faithfull to her in ME2. in ME3, i used Paragon on her, bought her a give when she was in the hospital, visited her 3 times before the Citadel mission. After that mission, I asked her to join the Normandy. That’s how far into the game I’m right. She is currently a the Observation room in the normandy but won’t talk to me just saying “hello Commander”. I want to romance her, did i do something wrong? I’m scared I screwed up when talking to Liara between missions, she even came to my cabin to show me that time Capsule. Does that mean I’m locked to Liara now? Please help.


On March 15, 2012 at 1:11 pm

Hey vnzla4eva!

Don’t worry, you’re not locked in with Liara! Your Asari friend will always stop by to talk about the Time Capsule, it isn’t romantic at all. Sadly, Ashley won’t want to talk to you for quite awhile, she’ll only chat when she asks to see you over e-mail or through Traynor, your specialist near the Galaxy Map. Keep playing through the story campaign and she’ll ask to see you eventually! It’ll only feel like forever.


On March 15, 2012 at 1:21 pm

@ Kevin, Thanks a lot for the info. Really appreciate it.


On March 15, 2012 at 11:17 pm

Hey, i romanced Liara in ME1 the Tali in ME2. I rekindled the romance for Liare at the beginning. Just wondering if when i see Tali later on can i choose to go back to her even though i told Liara i want her?


On March 23, 2012 at 7:50 am

Hi, just trying to complete several time of the game ME3 with stroy mode. Is it true that I can’t romance Tali in ME3 if I haven’t play ME2? Even if show no interest to Liara and killed Ash in the Citidal mission? I’ve been trying several time but romancing Tali is never an option for me and it’s really bugging me. If this is true I might have to go buy ME2 then…


On April 11, 2012 at 6:57 am

Hey guys,

I see a few of you have pretty decent knowledge about how this all works. I never actually even finished ME1 but started up a new character and used the DLC to answer questions about the previous game. I mentioned that I had saved Ashley etc, I can’t remember if it asked anything about whether there was a romantic connection. In ME2 I hooked up with Miranda. In ME3 so far, I wanted it to seem natural after all the nasty crap she said in ME2, so i think I shrugged Ashley off a bit when an opportunity came to light in the hospital, but I still visited her each time. I then got her to rejoin the squad after that very delicate situation on the Citadel. So now she’s on the ship and all, I’m just wondering if after spending time together on the ship, things will come around and have a possibility of being romantic, or if we’re now friends zoned :P I just want to know so I can line something up if I have to ;)


On April 30, 2012 at 5:55 pm

Lame, Male Shepard gets all the good romances. I want to woo Tali as a femshep.


On May 7, 2012 at 7:24 pm

;( i can’t romance tali… i don’t have me2 >;(


On May 7, 2012 at 11:49 pm


Good, that’s what you get for playing ME3 without playing 1 and 2 first.


On July 10, 2014 at 3:06 pm

What happens if Sheppard does not choose a romantic partner in any of the games? What happens in each game?


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