No Cake in Portal 2


Thank god. Nerd jokes like that wear out their welcome quickly because nerds don’t know when to f***ing stop saying them. There are still folks out there who think it’s funny to say, “The cake is a lie,” and they think it’s cool to be my friend because we both like games. Hey, nerd, if you wanna talk to me, tell me a joke I haven’t heard before. Feel ashamed after the jump.

What was I talking about, again? Oh yeah, cake. Take this, internet. “If you thought you were sick of the memes, I was sick of it way ahead of you,” said Erik Wolpaw, one of the lead writers on Portal and Portal 2, to Gamasutra. “I’ve had enough cake jokes.”

“I absolutely do not want to try and resurrect a three-year-old meme. That seems like it would be kind of sad.”

Hear that, internet nerds? The guy who started the joke says it became lame quickly. Remember this, guys, when you’re still adding Guile’s Theme to everything in six months. Think, “Maybe we should try something different now.” Just tryin’ to help here.

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57 Comments on No Cake in Portal 2


On June 19, 2010 at 8:02 am

Quit your ing

Endut Hoch Hect

On June 19, 2010 at 10:49 pm

Yeah really, shut the up you .


On June 20, 2010 at 7:24 am

Does that mean the cake is not a lie?


On June 20, 2010 at 8:47 pm

Quit defending the nerds, it’s about time somebody said something.


On June 20, 2010 at 11:08 pm

don’t reject the truth


On June 22, 2010 at 10:10 am

Stop saying it? Why? Because you wore it out in 24 hours? Personally I think the saying and the game is overrated. Does that make me supercool because I don’t say it? Not at all. What makes me supercool is that I will say what I want without any input from you, your site or anyone else. Any if anything anyone says tires you, stop and think…are YOU the nerd?
And by the way…the cake is a lie !


On June 22, 2010 at 10:33 am

Lol, what an arrogant blam.
And they are geeks not nerds. Are you living in your basement without any contact to the outside world for christ sake?


On June 22, 2010 at 11:03 am

The cake is a lie?

The Game

On June 22, 2010 at 11:10 am

Dammit Ares, lost the game.


On June 22, 2010 at 11:11 am

Of course the cake won’t be in Portal 2. It was a lie.


On June 22, 2010 at 11:11 am

Ares….that was amazing =O


On June 22, 2010 at 11:12 am

You’re trying way too hard, it seems kind of odd that a douche that works for a gaming website is calling other people nerds. I’ve seen a trend that most people that call other people nerds are bigger nerds themselves. I was called a nerd over XBL the other day because i had the TMNT arcade game on my games list, the dude that called me a nerd had a gamerscore of over 30,000.


On June 22, 2010 at 11:37 am

oh and by the way i’ve never said “the cake is a lie” apart from right now, so you can off

Phil Owen

On June 22, 2010 at 11:43 am

Wait a minute. I have over 30,000 gamerscore. Are you saying I’m a nerd? Nah, I ain’t a nerd.


On June 22, 2010 at 11:45 am

the pie is a lie


On June 22, 2010 at 1:03 pm

Luuuulz, 30,000 gamerscore. What a ing no-life nerd.


On June 22, 2010 at 5:11 pm

the cake is a lake…?


On June 22, 2010 at 6:53 pm

who gives a whos the nerd it wont matter when ur dead anyway


On June 22, 2010 at 7:31 pm

The cake isn’t a lie… Gabe Newall just ate it.


On June 22, 2010 at 10:08 pm

I’m sorry,this smacks of arrogance.Way to stick it to the fan base. You make a meme and when people pick it up you get annoyed? While I agree the cake thing is getting old,3 yrs ago it was fun and different. The new game looks very complicated in contrast to the beautiful simplicity of the first. My pc will surely choke on the specs.

Eternal Density

On June 24, 2010 at 9:28 pm

The truth is: there is no spoon.
(And since the cake is a lie, then you can either have your cake, nor eat it.)


On June 27, 2010 at 1:21 am

so looking at your twitter pic (Phil Owens), if i saw you walking around i would definitely think you were nerd.


On June 27, 2010 at 1:54 pm

No, how can the do this to us?
Where is the Cake? They said there would be Cake!

The cake is a lie…

Now I’m off to go have a cry and play Guitar Hero.
And the writer of this article is a . I hope you go to a party, eat some cake thats filled with arsenic. And die… Painfully. Nerd Humor is the best!


On August 15, 2010 at 9:08 am

“Just tryin’ to help here.”

You are? I could’a sworn you were just in’ …


On November 24, 2010 at 9:36 am

Everyone knows there will be cake this time!


On March 14, 2011 at 1:20 pm

Okay so I came across this website and I must say that I am really indifferent to all of the cake. Yes the joke was funny three years ago, but as far as we know GlaDOS has the cake, and I doubt Chell even cared about it in the first place. This whole post was very poorly written and the whole “nerd” thing is stupid, mainly because Nerd isn’t an insult, and neither is Geek or Dork. The majority of the comments on here seem like a monkey with a head of cabbage for a brain wrote them. I really have nothing against rage posts or rants, but when they are written in such a way that is insulting to your intelligence one can’t help but wonder about the general intelligence, or therefor lack of, of the author. And just a thought to leave you with, if you associate with gamers, and post on a gaming website to you really believe that people will simply drop memes? Just because someone talks about video games or finds things from video games funny means nothing, in fact I could argue that some people such as stoners and jocks are no different other than their topic of interest. It is seriously clear that someone didn’t get enough hugs as a kid.


On April 15, 2011 at 1:11 pm

I like John :D lol


On April 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm

Everyone! The cake is a lie!


On April 19, 2011 at 10:40 pm

The main reason you failed. “There are still folks out there who think it’s funny to say, ‘The cake is a lie,’” You just beat your own argument… You have just told EVERY PERSON in the world that this joke is still laughed at by many people, while your main topic sentence is about how many people DON’T laugh at this joke. Obviously, if people still laugh at this joke, isn’t the joke still funny. I rest my case.

Joe Demanko

On April 20, 2011 at 10:03 pm

i think it’s really cool how you get sick of things, tell me other things you’ve got sick of.

Phil Owen

On April 20, 2011 at 11:21 pm

Well, Joe, I’m also really sick of comma slices.


On April 21, 2011 at 6:19 pm

Psst…Phil “The King” Owen, it’s called a comma splice, not a comma slice. ;P

Also, I am totally a nerd, and proud of it. However, I only say “the cake is a lie” when using memes for the sake of it being a meme. It does sadden me when so many of my fellows overuse jokes and wear out their welcome long before they should have been worn out…

PS – I read this in your voice, and you’re totally a nerd. Just embrace it!

Phil Owen

On April 21, 2011 at 6:25 pm

Another thing I’m sick of: my occasional typos.

As for the rest of your comment, Colby: you understand.


On April 22, 2011 at 9:30 am

Ok, here it is: Im in space. (Well who played Portal 2 trough that knows what im talkin’ about)


On April 22, 2011 at 12:55 pm

I’m in the moon


On April 22, 2011 at 5:28 pm

you, dweeb.

Phil Fail

On April 23, 2011 at 12:33 pm


Phil Owen

On April 23, 2011 at 12:50 pm

You’re gonna ruin that too, huh?

Corrupted Core

On April 23, 2011 at 4:11 pm



On April 23, 2011 at 8:39 pm

Pretty sick dweeb drop there, but “psst..I’m no asskiss, Colby.”


On April 23, 2011 at 8:41 pm

PS. I read your comment in a little dainty British lad’s voice.


On April 23, 2011 at 8:42 pm

Oh yeah.. ;P


On April 23, 2011 at 11:48 pm

More cake!


On April 27, 2011 at 2:11 pm

The game was not worth full price. over rated and far easier (like that was hard) than portal 1. Everytime the game got to something it’d switch to the next part. And there was only 3 parts. “glados”, “the goo”, “wheatley”

felt like it needed episode 3 of half life 2…

where is that valve? less thinking about the cake meme, and more actual work… please not another crap left for dead game. That only needed one. The zombie premise in games now is so worn out, i’m calling it lyndsey lohan.


On April 28, 2011 at 9:59 am



On May 2, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Yo dawg I heard you like memes so we took the memes from yo game so you can be disappoint while you play.


On May 4, 2011 at 2:49 pm


Really, dude, chill out, just because you don’t share some people’s sense of humor doesn’t mean you have to stereotype them and prove you’re better than them. While there are plenty of people who do it wrong, shouting memes for no reason other than to shout memes (of which there are plenty of equivalently annoying people IRL), memes can be funny if you execute it right. Either way, you don’t have to think they’re funny, but seriously, no one’s at war with you.

And, also, you’re a nerd lol. Anyone who uses the term as an insult clearly has insecurities about being seen as a nerd. I think we should be well past the point where non-nerds have to prove how they’re better than nerds. And for your own benefit, nerds don’t take offense at the term nerd, so all you end up doing is leaving food by the bridge and whining about the trolls eating your lunch.

tl;dr: stfu


On May 4, 2011 at 5:37 pm



On May 9, 2011 at 7:01 pm

someone needs to rick roll this guy.


On May 9, 2011 at 7:13 pm

and also, read lab rat before you get trolled :)
page 9, binary
01010100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01100001 01101011 01100101
00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101100 01101001 01100101 00101110
“the cake is a lie.”


On May 12, 2011 at 8:24 am

You’ve been asleep for for “99999999…(trails off)” Guess how much cake exist in that future


On May 15, 2011 at 9:44 am

Wow way to overreact dude. Probably think your tough for calling people nerds over the internet and that you hurting their feelings huh, its a bit pathetic really.

Cool Kid

On May 20, 2011 at 6:03 am

Well…at least GLaDOS is still alive, but now she wants us gone…

in Space!!!!

P.S. stfu you , you’re the nerd here not us, .


On May 29, 2011 at 5:49 pm

i just want cake is that so wrong.


On October 2, 2011 at 1:21 am

:( People like you make me sad. People ave different opinions and thoughts and senses of humour. Just because you don’t share it doesn’t give you the power to lord over other nerds (for you are obviously one yourself, :D ) and try to insult us with it. For two reasons; 1 – Freedom of speech and opinion; 2 – It’s not an insult anyway. You failed the test. Guess it’s a good time to tell you, the cake is a lie. :)


On October 31, 2011 at 9:08 pm

Phil Owen , been hating cake since ’07


On November 9, 2011 at 12:57 am

Lol, Phil nerd rage.