Pepe Say: Insight from our Intern – Game Violence

Gaming Today’s newest staff member and only editorial intern, Pepe came to us in an unusual convergence of circumstances at E3 2007. We didn’t even know we needed an intern but thanks to the kind folks at Eidos and a gift from a Cimmerian king, Pepe has come to America and Gaming Today to offer his services and the perspective that only a desiccated shrunken head can offer on the modern video game scene. Pepe hopes his work for Gaming Today will earn him enough money to move into a place of his own but until that unlikely day (it’s an unpaid internship) he’s staying in News Editor Shawn Sines’ basement.

Hello and bonjour, my name is Pepe and recently Pepe received an internship here at Gaming Today when I arrive from my native land desperate and in need of help. Pepe is not one of you and gaming is a new thing to me so Pepe has been told to write about his views on gaming.

Pepe has watched and learned much in his weeks here at Gaming Today. But Pepe no understand the issue of game violence. Where Pepe come from there is real violence. People no pretend to kill each other, they just do it. While Pepe can see the value of practicing violence he do not see how pushing little buttons on a strange object that he has learned is called a controller helps you to kill anyone. Pepe say that people no have X, O, Square or Triangle points on body so games not good indicator on where to hit to make other people hurt or dead.

Pepe remember when he was small boy in his native land, Grandpa Pepe once told him of story of man who decided to become king of Pepe’s country. This man was a big barbarian thief who learned to kill and become strong by walking in circle for years and punching yaks. Pepe do not think that pushing buttons on yaks made this man strong. Pepe has tried for many years to become strong but yaks always stronger. Maybe yaks play games in Pepe’s country and that is why they so much stronger than Pepe but Pepe doubts that because yaks no have TVs.

Pepe watched a movie starring a tall dark man and an small kicking man recently and was so excited afterward that he tried to kick his yak like they did. Pepe found out that yaks no like being kicked. Maybe kicking man learned to fight by watching other, better kicking men but Pepe no think he learned to kick by pushing little buttons.

For last three weeks of Pepe’s internship he has played every game with kicking and punching and shooting he could get his hands on. Last night Pepe decide to go to a bar and get a woman to share Pepe’s new life. Pepe walk a long way to club called “Rusty’s Tire” and find most gorgeous woman Pepe have ever seen. Unfortunately Pepe also see biggest man in leather with metal horse guarding her. Pepe know he has been training like people on TV say to become violent using games so Pepe decide to take what he want.

Sadly for little Pepe it seem pushing buttons did not make him stronger or better at fighting since big leather man with metal horse helped Pepe remember the smell of yak vomit and showed him the best way to sleep in a crowded bar.

Maybe Pepe should go home to Hyboria and his barbarian king and ask him how he become so strong because unlike people here, Pepe did not learn to fight better by using video games. For now though, maybe Pepe just go lie down and wait for his left eye to stop swelling shut.