PSP Causes Kid To Walk In Front of a Train (He Lives)
I love to read Twitter and check my email over and over when I’m walking down the street, even though 90% of the time I’m just hitting refresh repeatedly and waiting for updates. I do this not because I’m obsessive about those things (not entirely because of that), but rather because I like to pinball my way down the street, irritating the piss out of everyone. See, I’m a troll even in real life. I don’t intentionally hit people; I just allow my lack of attention to turn my body into an unstoppable force of nature that knocks down motherf–kers everywhere I go.
Of course, when I have to cross the street, and only when I cross the street, I look up, because I don’t really want to die.
There’s a ten-year-old kid in Italy who lives his life in a way that makes me proud. He lets his PSP do the walkin’, because f–k you. Unfortunately, though, he has yet to become attached to his own life in any meaningful way, and so his totally badass lifestyle led him to right off a train platform and onto the tracks.
This is the only kind of situation in which we like to have attentive people around, and this kid was fortunate to have at least one of those nearby on the crowded platform. That one person was some 23-year-old off-duty cop who jumped down on the tracks and dragged the kid back out of the real world that rudely intruded upon his gaming experience. Here’s a video of the entire thing!
If you for some reason want more, you can check out the Daily Mail story on it, which features this amazing headline: “The dramatic moment a hero policeman jumped onto rail tracks to rescue a boy who fell off platform while engrossed in portable games console.”
I can’t wait to see what kinds of shenanigans the NGP is going to cause.