Saints Row: The Third Review

The story is enhanced by the excellent voice cast, which includes Hulk Hogan, Sasha Gray and Burt Reynolds, and the funny script that never takes itself seriously. Characters banter, comment on the situation and dis each other, and everyone in the game is fully aware of how incredibly F’d up things get, which makes cliches, like Zombies that show up late in the game, end up being freakin’ awesome.

One nice touch is how present the soundtrack is. Inspired by the GTA series, previous SR games had tons of licensed music and humorous radio banter only accessible whenever you were in your vehicle. SR3 ups the ante by actually including soundtrack music in critical, non driving scenes simply because it makes the scene even better. When it happens, you get the sense that you’re not playing in anything like a real world, but are instead actually in a ridiculous blockbuster crime movie.

Really, the story missions are just ridiculous all day, every day. This needs to be said again and again. There’s a mission set in a video game that includes a text-based adventure parody. One requires you to fight completely naked while high on drugs. Another rewards you with a hoverbike. At every turn, just when you think things can’t get any more incredibly, awesomely absurd, the game tops itself, right up to a hilarious retconning of Red Faction: Guerilla. Not all missions are a equally great, but as promised, all of them have at least one holy Sh*t moment that rewards you for playing, even boring escort missions.

Unfortunately, while huge, with 8 islands total, Steelport isn’t heavily populated. There’s also the fact that certain story events – I won’t spoil them – are left underveloped. A few key cut scenes feel as though the most important information was presented just before you arrived on the scene, leaving the player to fill in the blanks. The story is also slightly shorter than Saints Row 2. This is, I suspect, because Volition wants to monetize DLC as much as possible; They’re already selling DLC and the game has only been out a couple of hours!

Cheap? Yes. But F*ck it. We’ll forgive them this once because they didn’t make us pay extra for the Dildo/baseball bat

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10 Comments on Saints Row: The Third Review

fg

On November 15, 2011 at 12:39 pm

TL;DR

no

On November 16, 2011 at 12:09 am

intersting comment

Ok...

On November 16, 2011 at 12:32 am

The game itself is actually pretty fun, aside from the fact that my particular version seems to have a pretty serious glitch. The Escort mission for the guy who’s every line has been autotuned seems to be unbeatable because as soon as I start it, the game claims I have failed the mission before even hitting any buttons. I even tested it by starting the mission and then not pressing a single button and within 1 or 2 seconds the game claimed I had destroyed the vehicle. Also, the Guardian Angel Mission for the hacker chick (not Shaundi) also seems to be unbeatable, though that may be due to my own incompetence with a rocket launcher while sitting on the edge of a helicopter piloted by a fellow gang member. I hope that Xbox Live releases an update for the game soon to fix these problems, otherwise I will be out $60+ that I could have used for something much more useful.

Zee

On November 16, 2011 at 10:09 am

As an immature, perverted 12-year-old at heart, “Saints’ Flow” just makes me giggle too much.

Seema

On November 16, 2011 at 10:24 am

I can’t wait to play this game. Batman? She-Ra? SEX?

Faisal

On November 16, 2011 at 11:00 am

Great review. Thanks for giving us something other than the formulaic reviews we see so often on other sites!

Nick

On November 16, 2011 at 6:40 pm

When I’m in Guardian Angel mode, in the helicopter, I can’t get the guy I’m protecting to get in the car. He keeps hiding. What am I doing wrong?

shay

On November 17, 2011 at 10:45 am

To user Ok….
im having the same issues!! I can’t beat the helicopter mission for the hacker chick, and i am having the same issue with the escort mission- I wont even press anything and the second it begins I fail because I’ve “destroyed the vehicle”. This is annoying, I really hope they come out with some patches quick. Ugh.

PAL-18

On November 30, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Should i play either of the previous games before playing this? Will i lose any major storyline?

Okkkkk

On February 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Wtf.!!!!! Wat do I do wen it claimed ive failed the mission as soon as it startes on the mission Escort for the guy that uses the auto tuner (Zimos)!?!?