Saints Row: The Third Review

Playing The Game

In Saints Row: The Third, you’ll acquire allies, win territory and rub out 4 competing gangs. The Luchadors (based on Lucha Libre wrestlers) the Deckers (generic 80s cyberpunk-hackers; and yes, the game acknowledges this) and Morningstar (basically vamped out pimps and madames) are members of The Syndicate. The 4th faction is a federally funded anti-gang task force called STAG. You’ll defeat these factions through a combination of story missions, activities, and diversions, themed depending upon which group you’re trying to take down.

Your character’s cell phone is now one of the most useful tools you’ll have at your disposal. Gone are the days of having to drive to a specific point on the map to start a mission or diversion. Instead, you have apps on your cell phone allowing you to call a number to activate them. You can also manage your character upgrades (see below) and view stats, and best of all, use a mobile banking app to transfer money as earned whenever you feel like it. Yeah, you can also call homies and check the game map, but who cares. Money. Easy to get now. Yay.

Melee combat has been completely transformed. While your fists work exactly as normal (same buttons as weapons), now you have the ‘awesome’ button. In combat, just click to pull off some incredible moves that deliver, sorry, awesome damage. Sometimes, it’s pro-wrestling moves. Other times, a one-hit-kill with a kick to the balls. Really, just run at your enemies and test it out.

As for the weapons? Select Y to access the weapons wheel and choose your poison. There is no auto-aim or lock-on, you just point and shoot. They’re fine and all that, but what you want to do is ignore standard guns and play around with the incredible special weapons. Like a combination dildo/baseball bat called the ‘pentrator’, a device for calling down air strikes, a gun that turns enemy vehicles into RC cars, or the amazing apocafists, giant gloves that pound your enemies into a bloody pulp with one hit.

Finally, vehicles. Saints Row began life as a GTA clone, and that means cars cars cars. And tons of cars from previous games return. But as you play, you get access to crazy, crazy stuff that makes mere ‘cars’ feel like punishment. I don’t want to say too much and spoil the surprise, but think 80s video games and GiJoe. You won’t even miss the fact that you can’t call taxis.

Whenever it counts, SR3 gives you the chance to do something horrible, believe that. The only problem is that the best weapons and vehicles don’t become available until late in the game, or until you level up. It kind of reduces the HOLY F*CK factor and one hopes that THQ and Volition consider tweaking that limitation with DLC.

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10 Comments on Saints Row: The Third Review


On November 15, 2011 at 12:39 pm



On November 16, 2011 at 12:09 am

intersting comment


On November 16, 2011 at 12:32 am

The game itself is actually pretty fun, aside from the fact that my particular version seems to have a pretty serious glitch. The Escort mission for the guy who’s every line has been autotuned seems to be unbeatable because as soon as I start it, the game claims I have failed the mission before even hitting any buttons. I even tested it by starting the mission and then not pressing a single button and within 1 or 2 seconds the game claimed I had destroyed the vehicle. Also, the Guardian Angel Mission for the hacker chick (not Shaundi) also seems to be unbeatable, though that may be due to my own incompetence with a rocket launcher while sitting on the edge of a helicopter piloted by a fellow gang member. I hope that Xbox Live releases an update for the game soon to fix these problems, otherwise I will be out $60+ that I could have used for something much more useful.


On November 16, 2011 at 10:09 am

As an immature, perverted 12-year-old at heart, “Saints’ Flow” just makes me giggle too much.


On November 16, 2011 at 10:24 am

I can’t wait to play this game. Batman? She-Ra? SEX?


On November 16, 2011 at 11:00 am

Great review. Thanks for giving us something other than the formulaic reviews we see so often on other sites!


On November 16, 2011 at 6:40 pm

When I’m in Guardian Angel mode, in the helicopter, I can’t get the guy I’m protecting to get in the car. He keeps hiding. What am I doing wrong?


On November 17, 2011 at 10:45 am

To user Ok….
im having the same issues!! I can’t beat the helicopter mission for the hacker chick, and i am having the same issue with the escort mission- I wont even press anything and the second it begins I fail because I’ve “destroyed the vehicle”. This is annoying, I really hope they come out with some patches quick. Ugh.


On November 30, 2011 at 10:39 pm

Should i play either of the previous games before playing this? Will i lose any major storyline?


On February 4, 2012 at 3:23 pm

Wtf.!!!!! Wat do I do wen it claimed ive failed the mission as soon as it startes on the mission Escort for the guy that uses the auto tuner (Zimos)!?!?