Square Enix is Going to Inflict Final Fantasy XIII-2 On Us

OK, so Final Fantasy XIII was popular for some reason. It sold a lot of copies. I don’t understand why that was the case, but it is, and because of that I should not be surprised it’s getting a direct sequel. But I somehow am. Maybe it’s because playing Final Fantasy XIII made me feel like I was locked in a dark basement by a psychotic murderer who tortured me for weeks on end and was just about to put an end to me when I somehow managed to escape. Since that encounter, I don’t sleep much, and on the rare occasions when I do find solace in the embrace of the sandman I without fail wait up shaking and covered in sweat.

Square Enix’s announcement today, then, that Final Fantasy XIII-2 exists and that they’re planning to release it next winter makes me feel like I just received a threatening letter from my former captor. He’s telling me that he’s been watching me, and that he’ll be coming for me one day.

OK, so what’s up with this game? Sorry, no details yet aside from that Lightning is back and that the battle system will be tweaked. And, like I said in the last graf, it’ll be coming for you next winter. It’ll be on the Xbox 360 and the PS3. That’s all we know. I think I’m gonna cry now. Here’s a screenshot of Lightning wearing something fancy but still showing off some thigh. Silver lining?

Oh, god, I just remembered that Final Fantasy XIII Versus is also a thing. S–t.

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