The 10 Most Annoying Video Game Titles
5. The Lord of the Rings: The Battle for Middle-earth II — The Rise of the Witch-king
Out of breath yet?
Similar to the Warhammer title above, this title employs a colon, em-dash, and roman numeral, but what puts this title on the list — and differentiates it from the previous entry — is its ungodly length. This behemoth of a title weighs in at a massive 19 spoken syllables and 83 typed characters.
Worthy of an honorable mention are the following two D&D titles. Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Eye of the Beholder III: Assault on Myth Dranor, with 20 syllables and 76 characters, and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Eye of the Beholder II: The Legend of Darkmoon, with 20 syllables and 75 characters.
It’s remarkable how these two titles only differ in length by a single character.
4. Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days
Everyone loves fractions, right?
Is this pronounced “Three hundred fifty eight over two days?” Of course not; that would be the logical way of reading it. Instead, it’s “Three five eight days over two,” which is just as nonsensical, with the added benefit that your friends get to correct you when you get it wrong.
“358/2 Days” is some code that is explained after the player progresses through the game’s single player storyline, which gives the player a neat “aha!” moment when this is revealed, but manages to piss off everyone else at all times.
3. Xenosaga Episode II: Jenseits von Gut und Böse
Nothing spices up a title like an umlaut.
JRPG titles include made-up jibber-jabber all the time, but this is a worse offense because “Jenseits von Gut und Böse” isn’t mumbo-jumbo — it’s the German title of Friedrich Nietzsche’s “Beyond Good & Evil.”
The only thing more pretentious than using roman numerals is using foreign words when the English translation does not take away from the meaning. Why go for clarity when you can look down on your players as they struggle to spell and pronounce your game’s title?
2. S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat
G.O. T.O. H.E.L.L.
This is, by far, the most annoying video game title to type. Nothing cuts your words-per-minute in half like having to add a damned period after every. Single. Letter, as though you’ve contracted stage 4 William Shatneritis.
Also, who remembers how to spell Pripyat? There’s an “i” and a “y,” but which comes first? When referring to the Ukranian ghost town, it seems both Pripyat and Prypiat are acceptable, which makes remembering which spelling S.T.A.L.K.E.R. uses all the more confusing.
Most aggravating is the fact that this game was based on a novel/film named Stalker. No acronym; just Stalker, a term used in the story. It’s simple, straightforward, and elegant. Naturally, it was far too mundane a name for a video game.
Instead we get S.T.A.L.K.E.R., a painfully forced acronym: Scavenger, Trespasser, Adventurer, Loner, Killer, Explorer, Robber. These terms manage to be redundant without being all-encompassing — what about Arsonists? Beggars? Peeping Toms? Just call them Vagabonds and be done with it.
F.E.A.R. gains an honorable mention here for being mildly less annoying due to its shorter length and for being better thought-out. “First Encounter Assault Recon” makes some degree of sense, though it still strikes me as a bad idea to name a squad after the emotion they’re not supposed to experience.
1. AaaaaAAaaaAAAaaAAAAaAAAAA!!! — A Reckless Disregard for Gravity
Die in a fire.
I pity the marketing team that had to run with this monstrosity. What genius thought it would be a great idea to create a title that can only be transcribed by copy-pasting? Even this game’s shortened title, “AaAaAA!!!” is clumsy, with an unnecessary number of exclamation marks and requiring the writer to count the “A’s” — six, by the way. It’s as though the developers set out to create a title that would frustrate writers.