Posted on June 15, 2007,

The Gamer Diet

Just like the right song can enhance your gaming experience, so too, can the right food. It’s common knowledge that just the right kind of accessories can turn any casual gaming experience into a memorable one. For example, you are carefully making your way through the endless crowds of zombies in Dead Rising. You have the sound effects cranked all the way up, a bottle of water next to your chair, and a minimalist sandwich sitting on your coffee table. This scenario really immerses you in the game experience, where no other media is distracting you from the core game.

Alright, so let’s change things up a bit. Grab a can of any particular energy drink, a family-size bag of potato chips, and “Bodies” by Drowning Pool on repeat. All of a sudden, your survival/horror experience has just turned into this crazed, ammo spewing, blood-drenched action sequence of which there is no discernible end.

So does what you eat while you are gaming determine the experience you have? I believe so. However, is the risk worth the reward? There are reasons why gamers are notoriously known as being pale, overweight, and acne-ridden.

Is the food we eat the cause for this stereotype? I looked into five items usually found in a gamer’s diet to find out. I should take this opportunity to warn you, excessive consumption of the following items may induce serious side-effects. (Such as lack of girlfriends, sleep, muscle, and any traces of a normal social life)

The Energy Drink

energy

Essential for: First Person Shooters, MMORPG marathons

Positive Gaming Effects: Enhanced reaction time, ability to endure long stretches of gaming with little or no rest.

Negative Health Effects: Adverse effects include dehydration, insomnia, headaches, nervousness, nosebleeds, and vomiting. Reports claim that energy drinks have caused even more severe reactions, such as seizure, heart arrhythmia, and death. But you totally owned that dude in Halo 2. So, it’s totally worth it.

See the rest of the results after the jump.

Pizza

pizzafin

Essential for: LAN parties

Positive Gaming Effects: You don’t have to leave the house. You can now even order a pizza online, so you don’t even have to get up to use the phone! Everyone wins!

Negative Health Effects: Pizza has notoriously high fat content, along with massive amounts of sodium percentages. It’s the equivalent of injecting grease directly into your arteries, and then punching yourself in the heart repeatedly.

Potato Chips

chips

Essential for: Anything involving a TV and a couch.

Positive Game Effects: The communal, portable nature of the bag ensures that every person on the couch can snack without obstructing the view of anyone else.

Negative Health Effects: The oils that many Potato Chips are cooked in have almost twice the fat content of Lard. Eating a bag full of Bugles is essentially the same as eating a jar full of mayonnaise. Next time, I’m just going to dip the Bugles IN the mayonnaise. Imagine the possibilities.

Soft Drinks

soft drinks

Essential for: Everything

Positive Game Effects: There are very few gaming scenarios that don’t warrant a nice tall glass of Mountain Dew. Yellow 5 plus caffeine equals crazy delicious.

Negative Health Effects: Obesity and Type 2 diabetes. Type 2?! That’s like you leveled up your diabetes! Ding!

Wendy’s Frosty

frosty

Essential for: Life

Positive Gaming Effects: Makes whatever you were previously doing 1000 times more amazingly fantastic.

Negative Health Effects: Brain freeze.

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5 Comments on The Gamer Diet

GM Tristan

On June 15, 2007 at 4:14 am

Hmmm cool! Great article. Though, I actually made a similar post like this last month in my blog

Check it out:

http://gmtristan.com/gamer-food-101/

Thanks and more power! :arrow:

Jason

On June 15, 2007 at 7:30 am

You forgot to mention my healthy diet of magic mushrooms and pot brownies. Delicious!

danielp

On June 15, 2007 at 7:41 am

Holy crap! Each and every example picture you used looks delicious!

somewhat

On June 15, 2007 at 9:31 am

Great. I just had breakfast and now I’m hungry again. thanks a bunch… :grin:

Charly

On May 8, 2011 at 10:05 am

good advice