The History Of Terrible Batman Games

4) Batman Forever (1995)

Quick, what’s worse than letting Joel Schumacher crap all over a hit film series? Why, making a game out of said crapping-on, of course. The Batman Forever SNES game isn’t just a terrible Batman game, it’s also a terrible Mortal Kombat rip off AND a terrible looking turd at the same time. Using horrible looking digitized sprites based on Val Kilmer’s turn at Bat*, it also features a pointless co-op and fight mechanics that are best described as ‘turgid’.

Frankly, this is the moment where fans had to accept that the typical Batman game would just suck large.

*har har.

3) Batman And Robin (1997)

And on that note, we skip ahead 2 years to the George Clooney take on the Caped Crusader. Boy was this movie bad. Seriously, just awful. So it takes a special kind of game to live up to that standard. Luckily, the people at Probe Entertainment were more than up to the challenge.

But don’t take my word for it, watch this hideous cutscene and wonder if the average players wansn’t secretly wishing it were happening in real life.

2) Batman: Gotham City Racer (2001)

It feels wrong to hate on this OG Playstation game because it borrows its aesthetic from the excellent animated series. But it’s a racing game. No, seriously, a Batman racing game. There was literally no reason to make this a bat-anything, since all you do is race around. It could have been Genericman: Generic City Racing and achieved the same effect without tricking gullible fans into shelling out their money for a taste of the show that never should have been cancelled. Dammit, Ubisoft, why did you do this to us?

Here’s the awesome, lying opening cutscene.

1) Batman: Justice Unbalanced (2003)

Coming in at number one, it’s an entry from 2003, the most bizzare ‘educational’ game ever devised. Batman: Justice Unbalanced from The Learning Company features Two-Face and The Penguin in a nefarious plot to steal ornamental eggs. It’s designed to teach young children problem solving skills, and hey, why not?! Nothing says “learn” like matching wits against an insane serial killer and a crime boss/pimp, right?

I couldn’t find video, but I found a screenshot showing off the cool art style. Do not let that fool you. There is nothing cool about this game.

See that? That’s a sign pointing you to the Statue of Peace. Worst. Gotham City. Ever.

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1 Comment on The History Of Terrible Batman Games

Red Menace

On October 20, 2011 at 1:26 am

Batman Returns was the best Batman game ever. Fact.