The Two Worst Bond Movies Are Levels In 007 Legends
Bond fans will forever debate which of the films are best*, but there is almost no argument about the worst films. Die Another Day is absolutely regarded as the single worst, with License To Kill usually somewhere in the bottom 3. Die Another Day was simply wretched, boasting a silly plot not fit for a Roger Moore film and a complete lack of narrative coherence (seriously, Bond snaps back from 6 months of torture by visiting a luxury hotel. Hooookay.) License To Kill, on the other hand, is just silly, largely because it married the cheesy conventions of the Roger Moore years to the attempted grittiness of Dalton’s take on the character. So obviously, if there’s 2 movies you want to avoid when making your epic video game tying 6 of them together, it’s these two.
Oh, in other news, Activision sent out a press release today about their upcoming 007 Legends. What does it say?
With Moonraker and On Her Majesty’s Secret Service already unveiled, Activision Publishing, Inc., a wholly owned subsidiary of Activision Blizzard Inc., (Nasdaq: ATVI) revealed today Die Another Day and Licence to Kill as the third and fourth Bond movie-inspired missions included in this year’s upcoming 007™ Legends video game.
In 007 Legends’ Die Another Day movie-inspired mission, the quintessential secret agent is sent to rendezvous with Agent Jinx to investigate the connection between Gustav Graves – a diamond mogul funding the development of an international space weapon called Icarus – and a North Korean terrorist set on unifying his country once and for all. With Jinx’s help, Bond must chase down Graves, racing along ice while duelling against North Korean spies and Graves’ allies, all while dodging concentrated blasts of solar energy from the Icarus weapon. After confronting Graves on his high-flying jet, Bond must prevent triggering a war between North and South Korea and escape the stricken jet before it’s destroyed.
In the Licence to Kill movie-inspired mission, Bond enlists the help of U.S. Drug Enforcement Agent Pam Bouvier in order to avenge Felix Leiter and uncover a vast international drug operation headed by an evil Mexican drug lord with terrorist connections – Fran Sanchez. After detonating a massive explosion in Sanchez’s drug refinery, Bond will have to capture Sanchez before he escapes, ending in a brutal physical confrontation on-board a moving tanker truck. Will Bond be able to avenge his friend or will he be killed by Sanchez?
Come on guys, really? How the hell?
“The method of picking which James Bond movies to include in 007 Legends was a deep and thoughtful process between Eurocom, Activision, EON and Danjaq,” said David G. Wilson, VP of Global Business Strategy, EON. “We took great care in selecting movies that helped define who Bond has become over the years, and ones that could be tied together in a compelling way to pay homage to 50 years of 007.”
Yes, great care. Clearly only the most dedicated bond fans were involved.
Well I guess it was only a matter of time before my worst fears came to pass.
* My top 5: Casino Royale, For Your Eyes Only, From Russia With Love, The Living Daylights, and a tie between A View to a Kill and Goldfinger.