Time Warner Unveils New ‘Rip Off’ Internet Service

A quick warning guys: If you’re using Time Warner Internet service, you could soon have access to the most hilariously undiscounted discount ever, and all you have to do is accept the crummiest possible Internet service.

Time Warner has decided to introduce the metered service they began to roll out in Texas last February to its nationwide network of under-supported customers. This after they stalled that program due to ‘customer reaction.’ How does this work? Well, first, you have to surpress your laugh reflex. Then, you have the option of voluntarily selecting a new Internet service package called “Internet Essentials,” which caps all data usage at 5GB per month.

5GB? That’s pathetically small, just enough to what, watch 3 youtube videos and maybe have one video chat before you can’t watch Netflix on your Xbox anymore. But you know what, if you have very basic Internet needs, it might be a good package to consider. Unless wait, what’s the price:

The Essentials plan provides a $5 discount to subscribers willing to stay below a 5 GB data cap each month. Any data used above that cap will be charged at the rate of $1/GB with a maximum of $25 in a month.

HAHAHAHAH. Cough. HAHAHAHAH.

Note that the unlimited plans will still be available. Yes, you read that right. You can accept a 5 dollar discount, and in exchange for that, you might end up paying 20 dollars more than you do for your unlimited Internet service. Anyone who takes this deal is a sucker who deserves to get conned by Nigerian scammers.

Honestly, I don’t know why the hell Time Warner is even trying this. Unless the plan is to introduce a STEEP hike in prices for unlimited, making this bullshit plan seem like a sound idea. Ladies and gentlemen, one more reason why gaming as a service will NEVER become the default.

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5 Comments on Time Warner Unveils New ‘Rip Off’ Internet Service

ZephyrTuvai

On December 7, 2012 at 10:38 am

After years of working customer service in retail, I can sadly say that the majority of consumers either lack basic math skills, can’t see past the 5 dollar instant savings(in this case), or both. While most people with a brain will see this as a cash grab, Time Warner will probably, unfortunately, be able to pull this off. That and the state of pricing for internet in America is so haphazard that those same consumers don’t really know what’s a good price and what’s not. Let alone exactly what a 5gb cap really means on their end.

Large Pecker

On December 7, 2012 at 10:57 am

The biggest shock is that Time Warner hasn’t gone bust yet after the ridiculous AOL merger.

R.J.

On December 7, 2012 at 4:52 pm

Gee, a whole $5! At such a small cap, that discount has to be much more than $5 or else it simply isn’t worth it. Downloading one game from Steam would go over that limit. It’s pretty obvious that it would be cheaper not to use this option.

Derek

On December 8, 2012 at 7:04 am

Anyone considering this would be better off upgrading their phone to a 4g unlimited hotspot.

Ross Lincoln

On December 8, 2012 at 9:02 am

Large, I myself am shocked they survived long enough to spin AOL off into a separate company.