Top 10 Worst Video Game Moms
Mother’s Day is coming up and that means it’s time to drop the controller and pick up some flowers. Take her out to dinner, get her some candy, do something to make her feel appreciated. After all, not everyone is lucky enough to have a great mom. Imagine if you were born to one of these video game mothers.
#1 Ash’s Mom
Mother of: Ash Ketchum
Why She’s the Worst: I’ve got two words for this lady: “Criminal Negligence.” Your 10 year old son wants to travel around the world with no adult supervision, so that he can be attacked by vicious monsters which he will then attempt to capture? And you said yes to this? What the hell are you smoking? Look, I realize Ash’s dad is out of the picture and you probably want some alone time with Professor Oak, but this is no way to go about getting your child out of the house. It’s called “Summer Camp,” look it up.
#2 Sarah Kerrigan
Mother of: Zerg Brood
Game: Starcraft: Wings of Liberty
Why She’s the Worst: After becoming the Queen of Blades and mommy to the Zerg legions, Kerrigan proceeds to commit some of the most egregious tactical errors I’ve ever seen. Watching her repeatedly throw her brood at the same heavily armed choke point makes me wonder if she has even an ounce of feeling for the little buggers.
#3 Crono’s Mom
Mother of: Crono
Game: Chrono Trigger
Why She’s The Worst: First of all, why wasn’t she at the trial when Crono was falsely accused of being a kidnapper? Hasn’t she ever heard of a character witness? She should have been up on the stand telling the judge how her boy would never do something like that, even if she thought he would. (Spoiler Alert, but there are multiple endings to this game, so I guess… possible spoiler) But what’s most unforgivable is the ending in which she goes through the time portal and causes some kind of glitch that makes everything start over again. Great, thanks for erasing all Crono’s hard work.
Mother of: Sephiroth
Game: Final Fantasy 7
Why She’s the Worst: There’s nothing worse than a mom who passes who on her bad habits to her offspring, especially when those bad habits include planet destroying. Details on Jenova are a bit sketchy, but apparently she travels to planets for the express purpose of starting trouble and spreading her evil spawn. One of these little brats turned out to be Sephiroth, who ended up trying to crash a meteor into the planet.
Mother of: Kitana and Mileena
Game: Mortal Kombat
Why She’s the Worst: Sindel went and married the ultimate douche step dad when she walked down the aisle with Shao Kahn. How’d you like to have that guy having sleep overs at your place? Oh sure, she played the tired old he “resurrected me as a zombie slave with no memory of her past” card, but who’s buying that? She wanted Shao Kahn for his ripped abs and sweet skull face plate.
#6 The Queen
Mother of: Yorda
Why She’s the Worst: (Spoiler Alert. But come on, this is an old game, are you ever really gonna play it?) Basically the queen had a child so she could take control of its body and extend her own life. This is especially reprehensible because she doesn’t have much of a life to begin with. She just kind of floats around the castle and watches old episodes of Murder She Wrote, or whatever it is evil queens do. Just die already, you crusty old bitch.
#7 Dr. Brigid Tenenbaum
Mother of: The Little Sisters
Why She’s the Worst: I don’t know where to begin with this one. She finds some little girls, adopts them, hands them a syringe and says “go stick this in some dead bodies.” But wait, surely these kids will need a chaperone. After all, Rapture is full of drugged out psychopaths with telekinetic powers. “I know!” says Dr. Tanenbaum, “I’ll have this creepy guy in a diving suit take them to the bodies. Yeah… he looks trustworthy, with that drill arm and ominous helmet.”
Mother of: Morrigan
Game: Dragon Age: Origins
Why She’s the Worst: (Another spoiler alert, turns out moms play important roles in some of these games. Who knew?) Listen, if you’re going to be setting me up with your daughter, I need to know ahead of time if you are secretly a horrible, unholy dragon monster. This one hits especially close to home for me. You should hear some of the things my ex-girlfriend’s mom used to say.
#9 Link’s Mom
Mother of: Link
Game: Ocarina of Time
Why She’s the Worst: Where the hell was she? You can’t just drop your baby off in a forest and hope the locals will take care of it. You have to go through the proper channels. This is why adoption agencies exist. What if that forest was full of baby eating cannibals?
#10 Alien Queen
Mother of: Facehuggers
Why She’s the Worst: You can’t let your kids run around latching onto people’s faces and impregnating them with chestbursters. I thought those moms that let their kids kick the back seat on airplanes were bad. This is just ridiculous. You don’t teach your kids any discipline and then you wonder why they wind up riddled with bullets or burned alive by flamethrowers.