Top 10 Worst Video Game Moms

Mother’s Day is coming up and that means it’s time to drop the controller and pick up some flowers. Take her out to dinner, get her some candy, do something to make her feel appreciated. After all, not everyone is lucky enough to have a great mom. Imagine if you were born to one of these video game mothers.

#1 Ash’s Mom

Mother of: Ash Ketchum
Game: Pokemon
Why She’s the Worst: I’ve got two words for this lady: “Criminal Negligence.” Your 10 year old son wants to travel around the world with no adult supervision, so that he can be attacked by vicious monsters which he will then attempt to capture? And you said yes to this? What the hell are you smoking? Look, I realize Ash’s dad is out of the picture and you probably want some alone time with Professor Oak, but this is no way to go about getting your child out of the house. It’s called “Summer Camp,” look it up.

#2 Sarah Kerrigan

Mother of: Zerg Brood
Game: Starcraft: Wings of Liberty
Why She’s the Worst: After becoming the Queen of Blades and mommy to the Zerg legions, Kerrigan proceeds to commit some of the most egregious tactical errors I’ve ever seen. Watching her repeatedly throw her brood at the same heavily armed choke point makes me wonder if she has even an ounce of feeling for the little buggers.

#3 Crono’s Mom

Mother of: Crono
Game: Chrono Trigger
Why She’s The Worst: First of all, why wasn’t she at the trial when Crono was falsely accused of being a kidnapper? Hasn’t she ever heard of a character witness? She should have been up on the stand telling the judge how her boy would never do something like that, even if she thought he would. (Spoiler Alert, but there are multiple endings to this game, so I guess… possible spoiler) But what’s most unforgivable is the ending in which she goes through the time portal and causes some kind of glitch that makes everything start over again. Great, thanks for erasing all Crono’s hard work.

#4 Jenova

Mother of: Sephiroth
Game: Final Fantasy 7
Why She’s the Worst: There’s nothing worse than a mom who passes who on her bad habits to her offspring, especially when those bad habits include planet destroying. Details on Jenova are a bit sketchy, but apparently she travels to planets for the express purpose of starting trouble and spreading her evil spawn. One of these little brats turned out to be Sephiroth, who ended up trying to crash a meteor into the planet.

#5 Sindel

Mother of: Kitana and Mileena
Game: Mortal Kombat
Why She’s the Worst: Sindel went and married the ultimate douche step dad when she walked down the aisle with Shao Kahn. How’d you like to have that guy having sleep overs at your place? Oh sure, she played the tired old he “resurrected me as a zombie slave with no memory of her past” card, but who’s buying that? She wanted Shao Kahn for his ripped abs and sweet skull face plate.

#6 The Queen

Mother of: Yorda
Game: Ico
Why She’s the Worst: (Spoiler Alert. But come on, this is an old game, are you ever really gonna play it?) Basically the queen had a child so she could take control of its body and extend her own life. This is especially reprehensible because she doesn’t have much of a life to begin with. She just kind of floats around the castle and watches old episodes of Murder She Wrote, or whatever it is evil queens do. Just die already, you crusty old bitch.

#7 Dr. Brigid Tenenbaum

Mother of: The Little Sisters
Game: Bioshock
Why She’s the Worst: I don’t know where to begin with this one. She finds some little girls, adopts them, hands them a syringe and says “go stick this in some dead bodies.” But wait, surely these kids will need a chaperone. After all, Rapture is full of drugged out psychopaths with telekinetic powers. “I know!” says Dr. Tanenbaum, “I’ll have this creepy guy in a diving suit take them to the bodies. Yeah… he looks trustworthy, with that drill arm and ominous helmet.”

#8 Flemeth

Mother of: Morrigan
Game: Dragon Age: Origins
Why She’s the Worst: (Another spoiler alert, turns out moms play important roles in some of these games. Who knew?) Listen, if you’re going to be setting me up with your daughter, I need to know ahead of time if you are secretly a horrible, unholy dragon monster. This one hits especially close to home for me. You should hear some of the things my ex-girlfriend’s mom used to say.

#9 Link’s Mom

Mother of: Link
Game: Ocarina of Time
Why She’s the Worst: Where the hell was she? You can’t just drop your baby off in a forest and hope the locals will take care of it. You have to go through the proper channels. This is why adoption agencies exist. What if that forest was full of baby eating cannibals?

#10 Alien Queen

Mother of: Facehuggers
Game: Aliens
Why She’s the Worst: You can’t let your kids run around latching onto people’s faces and impregnating them with chestbursters. I thought those moms that let their kids kick the back seat on airplanes were bad. This is just ridiculous. You don’t teach your kids any discipline and then you wonder why they wind up riddled with bullets or burned alive by flamethrowers.

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18 Comments on Top 10 Worst Video Game Moms

Matt

On May 5, 2011 at 4:35 pm

Why is #1 first? Whats the point in reading the rest of the list if you already know the worst?

arkdiablo

On May 5, 2011 at 7:12 pm

Ummm…what happened to Alma from the FEAR series?

Lance

On May 5, 2011 at 8:01 pm

Wow did you even play Final Fantasy 7?? Cause if you did that not at all the story behind Jenova.. spreading bull.. go sit down and play the game again there is a way bigger story behind her. My god I could travel there and shoot you in the face for talking about such a great game.. let along you don’t even know the story apparently!! They shoulda looking into your background before hiring you it would seem.. I coulda wrote a better article with my fcking hands tied behind my back and a whip being cracked against my face.. Brutal.

Dave Moss

On May 7, 2011 at 1:58 am

Lance, wow did you even read my article? I was not “talking ” about the game. I love Final Fantasy 7. What I wrote was a brief paragraph about one of the characters in the game which is accurate according to the FF7 wiki (you can check it out if you like.) As for being able to write a better article, I encourage you to go for it. Writing is a great creative outlet and I look forward to reading your article. I would like to point out that the sentence “Cause if you did that not all the story behind Jenova..” does have a few minor grammatical flaws. You might want to get that figured out before you start writing. Best of luck!

deciBel

On May 8, 2011 at 8:41 am

LOL @ Lance

So making fun of one character means he’s “talking ” about your most favorite game in the world? If you would kill a man for that.. I’d really hate to meet you in real life.

Derp

On May 8, 2011 at 3:06 pm

Face-hugger pic – obvious reproductive chute is obvious

freshies

On May 9, 2011 at 7:11 am

lance is crazy. I thought it was a nice little read

Martin

On May 9, 2011 at 8:24 am

Link’s mom in Ocarina of Time died you .
There was war in Hyrule and she escaped to the Kokiri Forest with her child. She died of her wounds and the child was raised by the Kokiri. Thanks for being insensitive.

Tamara

On May 9, 2011 at 8:51 am

The way I remember it, /Jenova/ was the one trying to destroy the planet, ’cause Sephiroth died falling into the creepy river and she was running around in his body for the second half of the game. Kinda like the movie Psycho backwards.

molten

On May 9, 2011 at 9:49 am

Yeah, where is F.E.A.R’s Alma? Author you shouldnt create any posts any more and GTFO with your ty chart.

ROARVIDEOGAMES

On May 9, 2011 at 11:36 am

WTF MAN YOU RUINED EVERYTHING ABOUT VIDEO GAMES AWWRRRHHHH.

AWWWWWWRHHHHHHHHHHH.

Not A Douche

On May 9, 2011 at 1:52 pm

People chill out, this is clearly an opinion piece. Not everything is going to be what you want down to the letter. Shut the up and take your flaming elsewhere. Stupid trolls are stupid.

What's Wrong With You People

On May 9, 2011 at 9:37 pm

I don’t normally write comments on these lists but I just had to this time. What is wrong with you?? The author of this article is clearly just stating his opinion, and if everyone agreed on everything than we would live in a perfect world. What good is free speech when people berate you for making your own opinions known. Also, if an opinion article about this stuff is going to get you so worked up that you want to “shoot” someone or just treat the author like garbage than you need to get a life because that is just pathetic. Kudos to the author for stating his opinion and I feel sorry that you have to put up with this . That is all.

BlackCountryNerd

On May 10, 2011 at 5:31 am

Just to add a little more negativity to the comments page, Ash’s Mom was never a video games character, she was an anime character. Although that being said, I suppose you could make the same point about Red’s mom, or any of the parents of the protagonists in the Pokemon series. So I guess my point was not worth making.

It was a fun read though, as someone who doesn’t really like Final Fantasy, and hasn’t played it for the best part of a decade, I found your entry entry about 7 very informative. Thank you sir.

Johnny5

On May 10, 2011 at 2:36 pm

Kerrigan wasn’t a mom. I don’t think a zergling ever walked into her room late one night to accidentally find her riding a hyrdralisk like a rodeo cowboy… Although I think I just invented a new type of pr0n for fanboys.

Al

On June 13, 2011 at 10:20 am

It’s only a game, Martin. Link and his mom don’t actually exist. I hope you know that…

Sarah

On November 3, 2011 at 12:08 pm

One question: Why in the world do people diss on Pokemon? It’s awesome.

Tahna

On May 11, 2014 at 4:51 am

#9…ummmmmmm where was link’s mom? let me think, oh yeah that’s right… she’s dead. seriously, that was kind of a major plot point ya know.