Underachievements – Some Ideas for Devs to Better Insult You

UPDATE: In response to a reader comment, these achievements were not taken from actual games. We made them up.

Everyone loves achievements, right? Well, everyone but me, that is. Nevertheless, we’ve all seen our share of useless achievements that reward you for loading into the first mission, completing the tutorial, and other things that are not worth celebrating. While those do insult our intelligence, here are some achievements that take things to the next level.

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5 Comments on Underachievements – Some Ideas for Devs to Better Insult You

Phil Christ

On May 2, 2013 at 9:57 am

Are these real, though? If they are, you should have told us which games they’re in so we know to either avoid them or to recommend them to people we don’t like much.

Besides, the biggest insult regarding achievements is when a developer releases a massive DLC that barely has any extra achievements in it despite often costing as much as the game itself. It’s actually in some ways more offensive than if there’s no achievements in them at all, such as in a couple of the LA Noire extra missions and in Sleeping Dogs’s Zodiac Tournament – and at least those packs were relatively cheap. I thought Mass Effect 3′s Omega DLC was the worst example of this, but Assassin’s Creed 3′s Tyranny of King Washington DLC absolutely takes the piss. 2400MS points, which equates to well over half the game’s retail price and is significantly more than that depending on which country you’re in, for a DLC pack that takes up a huge amount of HDD space, and your reward for all that is three achievements. Three. Their accumulative value is 85GS points. There are achievements in most games that are worth more than that individually.

I’m really surprised more hasn’t been made about this, but then again I don’t want it to seem like achievements are everything about a game or affect the objective quality of the material itself. It’s just that there are reasonable expectations now established in videogames, one of which is the level of achievements/trophies you can expect from DLC especially when it’s as expensive as this one was. It’s definitely a snub comparatively speaking.

Worst achievement for me is the one at the beginning of Double Dragon Neon. It’s worth 1GS, which if you’re really OCD about having a 0 or a 5 at the end of your score is really irritating, and you pretty much have to finish the game to get it right again unless you can find a game with an achievement worth 4 or 9GS. Worse, it means that it’s forever on your list of games, so even if you decided you didn’t want to play it for a while, you can’t remove the achievements list from your profile like you can for games if you haven’t unlocked any yet.

Achievements/trophies have been both a blessing and a curse to games. They encourage people to play the games the right way for an extra incentive, but they’ve also become an extra, perhaps unfair way of gauging the game’s quality which can’t be ignored any more.

Mr Glassback

On May 3, 2013 at 9:03 am

Yeah, that Double Dragon one got me too. My OCD and laziness are in constant battle over that.
I personally love achievements. They not only give me extra replay value from games but they also make me play through them via ways and means I may not normally try (e.g stick 10 enemies to walls with the bow and arrow or win the champions league with 5 different teams). It’s true that some games feel useless once all achievements are earned, but for me these tend to be the games that I would only run through once anyway.
It’s online achievements that I don’t like. I gave up on them when Fifa had one where you had to win 5 online games in a row. It was unbelievable the amount of times I got to 3 or 4 wins and then someone quit on me.
But to be honest, one or two of your underachievements per game would be quite funny, I am often stupid enough to earn many of these.

hemlock3630

On May 3, 2013 at 9:22 am

the “This is the tutorial, top dying’ one made me laugh.

I’d earn it every time.

Wesker1984

On May 3, 2013 at 9:04 pm

Me too i dont care about achievements what i care in a game is its epic story nothing else. Also Underachievements could be a nice add for a future generation.

CatmanStu

On May 4, 2013 at 6:13 am

I always thought that Achievements/Trophies could be kind of like social commentaries in some cases.

If a game has story based mission choices then they should only give you achievements for the first decision you make rather than having points for every playthrough. This would make your trophy cabinet a commentary on your psyche (in a frivolous and unfounded armchair psychologist kind of way).