We Found Five Good April Fool’s Gags. We Think.
It’s somewhat disappointing that what was once a day for delightful gags – often very convincing ones – has devolved into a parade of obvious, so-played-out-you-can-almost-predict-them gags that barely make you laugh anymore. I’m speaking of course about the annual Everything Online Is A Lie holiday, AKA April Fool’s Day.
The best gags are the ones that are so deadpan you almost take them seriously. Like our completely kick ass new site layout. Luckily, the gaming world has delivered. For your convenience, we’ve dug deep to find the best of today’s April Fools gags; from a hugely convincing look at Minecraft 2.0, to a completely straight-faced look at the ‘new’ Deus Ex game, to what we think is a Charlie Kaufman-esque prank from Konami, we’re happy to say that we won’t end the day disappointed.
Well, unless some of these turn out to be true, in which case our skepticism only makes us look ridiculous. Especially if it’s our new site design. Anyway, read on, and be thankful you didn’t fall for any of this.
1) The Aliens: Colonial Marines Groupon Is Totally Real Honest
Sure, an Aliens: Colonial Marines Groupon sounds ridiculous, right? But it seems kind of legit, that is until you get to the features.
Video-game sequel to James Cameron’s 1986 film Aliens also ties up loose ends in the Beverly Hills Cop trilogy.
Har har, guys. But still, well played.
2) Deus Ex: Human Defiance Is An 8-Bit Game NO REALLY WE SWEAR (WINK)
What’s better than a new Deus Ex game? One compatible with your SNES.
Let’s be honest; we all kind of wish this was real.
3) Dishonored Golden Cat E3 Gameplay Walkthrough
Bethesda uploaded this gem, and we’ll let it speak for itself:
This not only wins for being hilarious, but because the developers manage to keep from laughing no matter how absurd things get. “You can play as a door.” Brilliant.
4) Minecraft 2.0 Is Pure Number 2.0
Check out that detailed look at Minecraft 2.0. It looks pretty great, no? It should, because it comes packed with new features. There’s Super Hostile game mode, “for a much more challenging Survival experience”. WIN. Difficulty settings can now be set per-world, though now once set, they can’t be changed. And holy crap, there’s a new “Ultra Realistic” graphics setting, with new patent-pending experimental 4D-rendering OH WAIT NEVER MIND.
5) Is David Hayter involved with Metal Gear Solid V Or Not?
Finally, we come to something we think has to be a joke, except it’s so convincing it might just be that the parties involved have no idea what happens every year on April 1.
For the last few days, Konami and Metal Gear Solid voice actor David Hayter have either been confirming the fact that Hayter is apparently not appearing in the upcoming Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, or totally trolling. Hayter’s absence from the recent trailer and apparent confirmation on Twitter from Konami that he’s out of the franchise sent shockwaves through the fandom. he’s been voicing Solid Snake and Big Boss for, well, ever. So what the hell? At first, we thought he was kidding, but multiple confirmations kept popping up. Finally, Hayter decided to release a lengthy, completely serious explanation of his absence that seems to settle the matter.
Er, except for the fact that He decided to do so today. “If it were my choice,” Hayter’s statement says, “I would do this role forever. To hear anyone else’s voice coming from Snake’s battered throat, makes me a little ill, to be honest. But the truth is — it’s not my choice. Any and all casting decisions are the sole purview of Hideo Kojima, and Konami itself. And that’s fair. And I’ll get by. I am not lacking for employment on any level. But I didn’t want anybody to think that I was intentionally abandoning them. And know that I will miss this job, and this character, very much.”
That’s very touching. But come on, it’s April first. Unless Hayter issues a statement re-confirming this immediately after midnight tonight, his time, we don’t believe it for a second.