We’re Going to Liveblog the Goddamn VGAs

I may not be the biggest fan of the Spike VGAs, but there’s no college football tomorrow night, and so I need something to do while I’m drinking tomorrow night. That thing, conveniently enough, is the VGAs, which I’m actually excited about if only for the Mass Effect 3 trailer I assume is coming. Anyway, some portion of the GameFront staff will also be watching, and we’re going to liveblog this bitch.

The point here is not to be informative; nope, we’re just doing it so we can make jokes about it and to type a bunch of exclamation points when they show a cool trailer. We’ll be attempting to enhance your viewing experience, because Lord knows the VGAs need the help.

So if you’re going to watch the VGAs, be sure to check in at GameFront during the show. Pretty please.

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10:04 – Shawn: On that note folks.. we conclude our VGA shot by shot analysis.. look for all the great trailers and press releases from these publishers in the next few days here on GameFront.

10:03 – Shawn: “Douchy” seems to be the word of the night… Thank you Dane Cook!

10:03 – Mark: haha, my wife walks in and watches a few minutes of the VGAs. And she goes “Wow, that was really, really douchey.”

10:01 – Shawn: Now they are showing the losers acceptance speeches.. and rolling right into a rerun of the awards.

10:00 – Mark: Well, I can’t say I disagree with RDR winning GoTY. Just look at our Review

10:00 – Shawn: There is hope left in the world.. Red Dead Redemption wins Game of the Year not Madden 2010: Black Ops!!! RDR is my GOTY – or it will be when our piece gets published in the next few days.

9:58 – Shawn: Drake’s Deception – 11-1-11.

9:57 – Shawn: Thank god I found this HK here in the middle of the f-ing desert.. oh wait.. he dropped it from his flaming death plane.

9:56 – Shawn: Uncharted 3: Drakes Deception world premier

9:54 – Shawn: Character of the Year: Sgt. Woods from CoD: Black Ops? Really? Did Activision sponsor this show.. I mean really?

9:54 – Shawn: Hey EA, how are the Sims more alive than we could ever be? I mean we’re actually… you know.. living …

9:52 – Phil H: i think we need a fully anatomically correct, m-rated ssx but that might just be me…

9:51 – Phil H: SSX: Squashed on a Rock coming soon to Xbox 360 and PS3.

9:50 – Shawn: Somehow I think we’re not going to get to everything here folks.. 10 minutes to go and “we’re long”. Will Spike pre-empt shows no one watches for an award show over on time?

9:48 – Shawn: SSX Deadly Descents World Premiere

9:47 – Shawn: True Blood Actors up to intro games… and they start  with a sex reference.. there you go Spike! Stay Classy!

9:46 – Shawn: Was that Vanessa Mae?? Wow… Ok I’m flattened.

9:45 – Shawn: I wanted to hear Nathan talk Spike.. not that I hate the Halo soundtrack (opposite really).. but wow.. Technical flubs all through this award show.

9:43 – Shawn: Master Chief stopped by TSA with a Needler.. “Who are you going to hurt with a Needler? Seriously!”

9:43 – Shawn: TMZ? Really?

9:40 – Mark: that called me out, yeah I’m pretty into lotr.

9:40 – Phil H: that was a highly specific lotr reference, dude like… Wow

9:39 – Shawn: Oh, dear, Mark. Worst joke this side of Spike TV.

9:38 – Mark: Oh, dear, Meriodoc Brandibuck. Worst jokes this side of Farmer Maggot’s crop.

9:38 – Shawn: Why is it Microsoft can turn around Forza in 2 years but it takes Sony 10 between Gran Turismo releases???? (I’m exaggerating.. but not much.)

9:37 – Shawn: Exclusive announcement – Forza 4.

9:36 – Shawn: Dominick Moghnahan(sp?) – quote of the night: “I’m reading this, it’s not true…”

9:35 – Shawn: Thank you Cleveland!!! Hey, Menunos.. can we see your unmentionables? Don’t ask to be benched if you’re not ready to be exposed…

9:32 – Mark: Uh…can we obliterate “cinematic” from the lexicon of video game descriptions?

9:32 – Shawn: Michael Chiklis(sp?) introduces Jose Gonzales from Red Dead’s soundtrack.. awesome.. much better than Emo crap.

9:31 – Shawn: I predict NFS for Best Driving Game… sorry GT5.

9:26 – Mark: Except why was Ryu Hayabusa listed in that big smattering of names of game players we’ve lost? Mr. Hayabusa is alive and well..

9:26 – Mark: I agree, best part of the show.

9:25 – Shawn: That was the most moving tribute memorial I’ve ever seen on an award show.. Abigail Marsden – Wife, mother, prostitute… Priceless!

9:23 – Shawn: Most anticipated Game – Portal 2

9:22 – Phil H: side note: limbo was cool but i think my expectations were too high because it wasn’t nearly as cool as braid

9:22 – Mark: Limbo was awesome, I agree Spike.

9:22 – Phil H: Re: Resistence 3 – does this whole dumb game take place on a boat?

9:21 – Shawn:  Independent Game of the Year – LIMBO

9:20 – Shawn: Lavate Las Manos! err.. inSane.. a trailer that showed absolutely nothing.

9:19 – Shawn: He’s funnier than most of the “talent”

9:16 – Shawn: Del Toro is on to talk his new game now…

9:15 – Shawn: Angry Birds live.. Where is he going with this.. disaster in the making… haha

9:11 – Shawn: in 2012?? Isn’t it a bit early to start the hype?

9:11 – Shawn: World Premiere – Prototype 2.

9:10 – Mark: Doesn’t it create some kind of paradox that destroys the universe if the host of an award show, wins an award at that show?

9:10 – Shawn: Tony Hawk is still alive?

9:09 – Shawn: Spider-man calling NPH his bitch.. awesome.. and he even worked in the Spider-man musical. “Mark Paul Fruitloops.”

9:08 – Shawn: NPH wins for his Spider-man superherio performance.

9:07 – Mark: “Super Herios” would be an amazing cereal.

9:06 – Shawn: Best Voice acting award – Not going to Rachel Bilson. She’s pretty but she can’t read or talk well.. wonder what she can do well..”That’s what she said…”

9:02 – Shawn: Okay.. I promise no more Dane Cook references – Sgt. Woods is up for Guy of the year.

9:01 – Mark: Again, Nick Swardson, can you please take over and host this bitch?

9:01 – Shawn: I forgot Clancy Brown voiced Hades.. THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE!!

8:59 – Ross: I”m glad Rock* didn’t create a stupid video of Marston addressing the crowd at the VGAs

8:56 – Shawn: Despite Cook returning to the stage, John Marsden is just cool. So cool he can overcome being introduced by a washed up comedian.

8:55 – Ross: Did Tom Hanks and Stephen Spielberg produce Resistance 3?

8:54 – Mark: Neil, an around the world boner allows you to stay hot, and in Olivia’s box.

8:53 – World Premiere – Resistance 3.

8:52 – Mark: Did the Black Ops guys really just say “…to make sure Call of Duty: Black Ops stays hot, and stays in your box.”

8:52 – Shawn: And here is our list of best FPS games – http://www.gamefront.com/gamefront-2010-be…

8:51 – Shawn: Wow.. Madden 2010: Black Ops won this year!! Big Surprise!!!

8:48 – Shawn: Best First Person Shooter of the year presented by the cast of It’s Always Sunny.. Call of Duty: Black Ops.

8:44 – Ross: That was actually really effective, I mean, we are talking about a series where the principle villains are cthulu monsters from beyond the galaxy who harvest DNA to make babies.

8:43 – Ross: HOly f-word that was the best 20 seconds of nothing specific I have ever experienced

8:42: Shawn: Premiere Trailer for Mass Effect 3 – Earth is burning.. this is SPARTA!!!.. err.. the Reapers are here. Skyline 2: Mass Effect!!

8:41 – Mark: Nick Swardson, can you please just take over and host, plz?

8:40 – Shawn: and now we get Mass Effect 2 – GOTY nomination footage with that guy who keeps getting his shows cancelled to become non-events.

8:40 – Shawn: Nick Swardson.. wow this is awkward.. why are all these people here again? Spike really needs to  find more natural “improv” segments.

8:37 – Shawn: You still have CDs?

8:36 – Ross: I only listen to MCR when my Vampire Weekend Cd isn’t working

8:35 – Mark: What, Ross? You don’t blast My Chemical Romance while you play StarCraft 2? What’s wrong with you?

8:35 – Ross: Seriously, Spike? My Chemical Bromance?

8:34 – Shawn: Denise Richards.. why is she here? Oh yeah, her memorable role as Christmas Jones… what? She can’t even read a teleprompter well. and Now we get EMO’d to death.

8:31 – Shawn: Why was Mario competing with Kratos? something just seemed wrong there.

8:30 – Mark: BEST ACTION GAME, our thoughts are  here: http://www.gamefront.com/gamefront-2010-be…

8:28 – Shawn: Next category – Best Adventure GameAssassin’s Creed Brotherhood

8:27 – Ross: Golden Axe 6: Thor – God of Thunder? No, Gene Simmons is God of Thunder

8:27 – Mark: God of Thor

8:27 – Mark: Kratos, really? For comparison check out our Best Protagonists posts here: http://www.gamefront.com/coolest-gaming-pr…

8:25 – Shawn: Kratos is douch nominee number 2.

8:25 – Shawn: Mortal Kombat is PS3 exclusive with Kratos in it.

8:21 – Shawn: Exclusive trailer for Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim!!! My life is over.

8:20 – Shawn: Enigma is making a comeback apparently featuring Todd Howard.. and the unveiling of Elder Scrolls V.

8:17 – Ross: Do you think the Templar secret is that they caught Herpes from Dane Cook?

8:17 – Ross: I thought that Ezio was about to tell us that knowing is half the battle.

8:14 – Shawn: Well according to all our writers Ezio just lost because Douche Cook introduced him.

8:14 – Ross H: in related news, way to be savvy, relevent, and up to date in choosing the talent Spike!

8:14 – Ross: Here to present the Biggest Douche In Gaming Award, Dane Cook

8:14 – Ross: I”m commander shepherd and this is my favorite category in the citadel

8:13 – Shawn: Studio of the year goes to Bioware – who had a HUGE year in 2010.. 2 big games.

8:13 – Ross: SO the evil doctor is Amish?

8:11 – Mark: Holy rainy-nut-shot Batman.

8:08 – Shawn: First exclusive video – Batman: Arkham City. Batman versus the entire city.. the video is pretty awesome. Hugo Strange is thee big bad.. not a name brand Batman foe.

8:04 – Shawn: Neil is not an improv guy.. but gosh darn he’s funny so I’ll let him ramble on… oh what are we here for again???

8:02 – Shawn: It seems Spike’s production team didn’t get the cues down in rehearsal.. that was awkward.

8:01 – Shawn: Neil has the same impression I guess… thankfully he’s fake killing the dancers.

8:00 – Shawn: We leave the octagon for the VGAs featuring the old Electronic Arts logo!! Woo Hoo! Way to go green Spike! And they open with a dance number… ummm… did I turn on the Tonys by mistake?

7:57 – Shawn: 3 minutes till showtime.. oh I’m so excited!!! This is always the highlight of the video game award shows.. definitely the best gaming award show on basic cable shown after men choke each other into unconsciousness!!!!

7:50 – Shawn:  My Clean PC.com.. I love when people think services like that will actually fix their malware infested PCs.. it’s precious.

7:41 – Shawn: And the pre-show is over.. but on TV we get a great Gran Turismo 5 Kevin Butler ad.. good times… good times.. sigh.

7:30 – Shawn: Do people really play hunting video games? Really? This is the 4th time I’ve seen that commercial since 7:15. Big Game Hunters with Cabella are popular I guess.

7:29 – Shawn: For those interested, Spike has a pre-show stream going:

7:22 – Shawn: We have a bleedder over here!! Wow.. that’s a lot of red stuff..this is looking like a good start to the night! Bring on the VGA bloodsports!

7:17 – Shawn: Okay.. prepping for the show while watching grown men hug each other till they turn red with embarrassment.. I mean Ultimate Fighting Ultimate Submissions on Spike. If you’re watching the post, drop comments on the site and I’ll do my best to respond as things begin to kick off.. What we’re doing here tonight is “Creative Liveblog” by wordpress..

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2 Comments on We’re Going to Liveblog the Goddamn VGAs

drsgfire

On December 12, 2010 at 11:04 am

GD? Really? I actually like this site and have been coming to it for a long time but this is the first time I have been truly disappointed in a writer on here.

Shawn Sines

On December 12, 2010 at 3:41 pm

Which one of us were you disappointed in exactly?