I think Mary Poppins is fit.
13th July 2006
How addicted are you to AOE3? I found these 50 points (provided by aok_oldschool) and thought that most of them were really funny and probabaly were true. I bet they apply to most of your aoe3ers aswell :p.
1 When driving through the countryside you imagine how you would defend the area and set up an economy in AoE:3. 2 When bullying a 12 year old you tell them you have seen strelets that are stronger than them. 3 Someone asks if you want to go and you ask them for their ESO account name. 4 You're teachers at school back you into a corner, and you announce you're revolting. 5 When watching "The Three Musketeers", you can't believe the bad guys don't just make skirmishers. 6 You have bought AoE 3 multiple times because you either lose your disc, or want a new account name. 7 Your date asks you if you have any good movies, and you show them a recorded game. 8 Your date enjoys the recorded game. 9 You met your date on ESO. 10 You pretend your grandfather was named Alfred Orlando Edwards Sr., your father Alfred Orlando Edwards Jr. You of course are Alfred Orlando Edwards the 3rd, or AoE 3 for short. 11 You call your meanest teacher Kuechler behind their back. 12 You call the girl you have a crush on Elisabel. 13 You take extra math classes so you can add up your units' statistics and the enemies' as fast as possible. 14 You spend countless hours making custom maps, and never play them. 15 When the person working at the ice cream parlor asks if you want chocalate or vanilla, you say "The War Chiefs, please." 16 You unleash two dogs on the mailman, and pretend he is Cooper. 17 Everytime you see someone wearing an American Eagle shirt with the symbol AE, you are reminded of AoE. 18 You apply for a job at Ensemble Studios, even though you have no experience or resume. 19 When someone tells you they have a job in PR you think that they mean power rating. 20 To you sleeping and eating or only necessary so you can play AoE better. 21 You spend more time thinking of AoE strategies than you do playing. 22 You get into an arguement and you ask if the other person wants to melee with you. 23 You tell an annoying little kid to assume a defensive position. 24 You refuse to play other games, because you secretly know AoE 3 is the greatest game ever made, and no game will ever be better. 25 You name your dogs explorer dog and war dog. 26 You think AoE 2 is a rip-off of AoE 3. 27 You do dances by the fire place in an effort to get bonuses. 28 You constantly argue with people on the forums, because no one could possibly have a better idea than you. 29 You name your kid Edward Stuart (your last name), for Ensemble Studios. 30 When you get old and your grandkids ask you of your childhood, you tell them of your greatest AoE 3 games you've ever played. 31 After claiming you've been to war, your friend asks if you've ever killed anyone. You proceed to tell them you've killed over 1000 people in a game before. 32 You're still reading this, hoping most of these statements are true about yourself. 33 When you run out of money, you wish you were Dutch, because Dutch people always have coin. 34 You go to a trophy store and get a medal for every time you get one in a ladder. 35 You've actually got a medal in a ladder. 36 When someone tells you you have no friends you respond, I have Kanyenke. 37 You can never fall asleep at night, because you know you are wasting valuable play AoE 3 time. 38 When you are getting mugged, you ring a cowbell and call out "Assemble the minutemen!". 39 You lie to random people about how good you are at AoE 3, because you think they'll think more highly of you. 40 You are a germ freak and try to never get sent to the hospital. After all, if you were forced into a hospital for over a weak your power rating would decay. 41 Every time you beat someone at something you say "gg", but think "I pwned you n00b". 42 When someone tells you a funny joke you say "21". 43 You tell your parents "5" when you need money. 44 You also tell your parents 3 when you are hungry, 1 for yes, 2 for no, etc. 45 Everytime someone tells you "You and what army" you snicker and tell them to log onto ESO. 46 You have cursed profoundly when you got disconnected or when your game went out of sync, even if you were losing. 47 You feel proud over every win, even if you were noob stomping. 48 When someone talks about how easily they could beat you up, you tell them your power rating. 49 You spend a very long time making a campaign level, and then play through it as if you have no clue what is going to happen. 50 When you go somewhere you aren't supposed to be, you pretend you are a sneaking forest prowler, and watch out for spies and explorers.