The Laws Of Battlefield 2 -1 reply

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Original Gankstar

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3rd February 2005

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#1 13 years ago

1. If you spot an enemy before he sees you, chances are you will die.

2. The probability of killing someone is inversely proportional to how much you want to kill him.

3. For every good thing done, something bad happens.

4. If you see a bunch of easy targets in front of you, you will miss all of them and die.

5.You have a better chance of throwing a handfull of sniper rifle bullets and killing the enemy, than shooting them at him.

6.For every one enemy you kill with mines, you will kill 2 friendlies and they will both punish the TK.

7.Idiots have a unique pheromone receptor which can sense a friendly arty strike. Once initiated they run to the center of the strike like moths to a flame, thrust their noses in the air and put there finger on the PgDn button ready for the climax!

8.Thou shalt always respawn into an arty strike or a massive unfriendly assault and die before you can do anything.

9.A dune buggy slowly slipping down a gentle slope is the most brutal and deadly thing in the game if you're standing in its path.

10.When fleeing from an enemy, you will be shot to death, inches away from your cover.

11.when a gunner in a helo, chances are u got the worst pilot u can think of

12.When you have no money chances are your joystick will go funny.

13.If someone with an ak101 happens to glance at you, you will instantly die of fear.

14.No matter what weapon you carry, it will take over half a magazine to attempt to kill the guy that take you out with a three round burst or less.

15.Holding right mouse button when throwing a grenade changes throw length from feet to inches.

16.Even with the dexterity to balance the blade of his knife on his finger, a soldier will constantly miss when lunging to stab a stationary enemy.

17.Somehow, a man can take a sniper round to the chest WITHOUT DYING.

18.Your pistol is a much better sniper rifle than your .50cal rifle

19.A crescent wrench can fix anything

20.You can raise a flag in a tank.

21.Seconds before you get your hard-earned Flag-Capture Point, an Enemy will pop up and kill you, giving the Capture Point to your Team-Mate.

22.After shooting an enemy Tank to low Health with your APC, your Gun will overheat and a Team-Mate will grab the kill, leaving you with not even a Kill-Assist.

23.You will never be able to swim away fast enough from an accidently drowned Jeep.

24.Claymores only kill foolish teammates.

25.If you want an enemy to abandon an armoured vehicle, run at it from the rear and let them see you doing it, they'll jump out.

26.No matter what, dephibulators cure all

27.the pinnacle of aviation technology cannot help a bomb hit its target

28.all vehicles have electrical armour plating, as when u touch it, ur dead

29.The more you press the 9 key to deploy a chute, the less likley the chute will deploy

30.You spawn right next to the enemy tank.

31.If you want to be a sniper you should choose Anti-Tank Class.

32.Just as you detonate the C4 on the UAV trailer, two to three teammates will drive up in a jeep right next to the detonation site.

33.No matter how much you shoot a guy parachuting down, he will never take any damage. And, when he gets down you are out of ammo and he kills you.

34.You are killed after a 10 minute run to an enemy flag, right before you reach it.

35.Water is extremly flamable and will cause vehicles to explode.

36.If your ina group and run into a single enemy, you WILL die first.

37.Confucious say: When commander drop supply crate from sky, look up or you will endure headache until next spawn

38.Confucious say: Man with handful of wheat will hit enemy more than with M229 SAW.

39.Spawning is more like a race to the heli.

40.A tank thats motionless while capturing a flag will wait until you run up behind it to plant C4 before the drivers cat steps on the S key and kills you.

41.Just after you found a great Spot to snipe from, while taking careful Aim at a Group of Enemies - you will be knifed from behind.

42.After taking a few well-aimed Shots at an Enemy, he will spin around and kill you with a single round from his MP5.

43.You must be the fattest person in the army as you cannot fit through a 3 foot wide gap between the bamboo

44.After throwing a pack of C4 ontop of a smoking tank, and pulling out detonator, the remaining C4 (in your pocket) will magically explode...every time.

45.If you are capping a flag alone in a tank the one enemy that manages to spawn in time will be a spec op...

46.If you are capping a flag and once it goes neutral you hear arty guns firing in the distance, run like #@$%!!!

47.If you need tank support, drop a mine on the road and a friendly tank will show up in no time...

48.If you respawn as an anti-tank the tank will have either disapeared or magiclly spawned many enemys' who know exactly where you respawned

49.When in need of medical aide call for a supply drop, the crate will be there in no time to crush you to death, thus ending your need for medical aide

50. Asking a Commander for ammo means he will send Artillery with the assumption you catch them and throw them at the enemy.

Rod Menass

공화국의 영원한 주석

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29th March 2005

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#2 13 years ago

Those are pretty accurate, except for the one about the M249 SAW. If you can control bursts, it becomes pretty accurate. And as for 25, when I run behind a vehicle, they usually just back over me and don't get out.


I want to be like the Admins

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5th May 2005

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#3 13 years ago

Ya, those laws are pretty straight on the line...took me 15 mins to read it..with out my dog scratchy at the door to go out.

Mr. Whitlow


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9th September 2004

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#4 13 years ago

Good list. Some are a bit exaggerated but altogether, good compilation.



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3rd April 2005

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#5 13 years ago

Ahahahaha... Lol, these are so true.


The Internet ends at GF

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26th June 2005

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#6 13 years ago

Some are you just being a poor player, but most are very true. The c4 in your pocket thing though, dont know about that but i've certainly done myself a few times by not legging it away quick enough . Slim


Alt F4 brings up cheats menu.

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4th June 2004

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#7 13 years ago

its amazing how someone can take a sniper round to the chest and live but a jeep gently sliding in the mud can kill you if cought in its path. I just mixed two laws, that what agravates me most about the game. And the fact that 4 outta 5 times I died I never saw who killed me.

Dreadnought[DK] VIP Member

Grumpy Admin

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7th March 2003

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#8 13 years ago

:lol: good one.


Circular Error ProbabilityZero

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24th October 2004

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#9 13 years ago

Those are really good Agent_Orange! Definitely entertaining. You must have spent a while typing all these up!

Pethegreat VIP Member

Lord of the Peach

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19th April 2004

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#10 13 years ago

:rofl: They are very funny and true at the same time which makes it funnier:lol: Nice job either typing them up or finding them:D