My story. -1 reply

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ShadowDragon8685

I don't spend enough time here

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30th December 2002

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#1 15 years ago

Alright. This is a story I made up. Pretty much assume it to be like, takin' place after the Maelstrom Incident. Peace is the general atmosphere, and Jean-Luc Picard is still in command of the Sixth Ship to bear the name.

I wrote this a fair while ago, then I stopped. Tell me what you think, please?

http://shadowdragon86850.tripod.com/TOS.html




ShadowDragon8685

I don't spend enough time here

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30th December 2002

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#2 15 years ago

Okay. I've just verified the link works... So why hasen't anyone read it and responded? :(

Feedback, please! I'm desperate! I MUST know how my story stacks!




elminster

Bridge Commander Master HPer

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26th October 2002

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#3 15 years ago

All I can say is contrast, blue and black don't make for the best contrast, its hard to read.




ShadowDragon8685

I don't spend enough time here

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30th December 2002

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#4 15 years ago

You can always copy/paste it to a text doc if the blue on black is giving you trouble. I find it very easy to read. Hmm.. Upon reading it. I see some editing errors and typos. I shall now attempt to fix them.




Galaxy Class

I want to be like the Admins

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4th August 2002

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#5 15 years ago

Not bad, although there wouldn't be dust on a Starfleet ship, old or new. Dust is hazardous to computer and electronic systems, and would not be permitted to circulate freely.

Oh, and Vulcans "do not" make contractions in their speech.




ShadowDragon8685

I don't spend enough time here

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30th December 2002

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#6 15 years ago

Well, y'see bout that. The thing is, the Highwind had been left to it's own devices for the past fifty or so years; easily enough time for dust and decay to set in, since it was in the Starbase dock, with plenty of nice rodents and spiders to hold partys in it.

And K'reesha's not exactly a typical Vulcan. :P




Galaxy Class

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4th August 2002

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#7 15 years ago

And how are spiders and rodents supposed to get IN to a starship?

The vast majority of dust is dead human skin cells. How can there be dust if there's no one around to leave any?




idontknow

|Place Word Here|

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16th September 2002

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#8 15 years ago

Good Point Galaxy class. Whos ever heard of a space dwelling spider or rat




ShadowDragon8685

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30th December 2002

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#9 15 years ago

Vermin go where humans go. Starbase One is especially notorious. You can't get ridda them. Trust me, Starfleet has tried. I was part of the great 'grab a phaser, it's open season on rats' campaign, waged by Starfleet Security (with volunteers accepted.) I am sad to say, we got our asses soundly kicked by the vermin.

It's all Starfleet can do to keep them out of engineering-critical systems, like the base's reactor. Trust me, th' bastards're everywhere; I once tried to dig one out of the Excalibur's science console. Bastard electro-fried himself by biting a wire. :)

That's how the vermin would've gotten onto the Highwind; through the station's umbillicals. Once there, most of them quickly left due to lack of food, but those that wormed their way into the rations supply had a party time for a while. And that's how the ship came to be dusty and cobwebby and rusty.




Galaxy Class

I want to be like the Admins

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#10 15 years ago

You are either insane or have far too much time on your hand.

What kind of "umbilicals" would there be to a derilict ship?:fistpunch:




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