The forums staffers think I'm Cool
23rd September 2000
It seems to me that you people want storys about real life incidents, i seem to remember a post about 'i was scared' or something, this post is a daring tale of espionage, romance, political properganda and Russian inuedos. On one of my frequent trips to the super market i was confronted by the evil captin peg eye (the 3 armed, i leged, 42 year old pirate who smells, and has a peg for an eye) down the bread isle. 'Yar me lad' I caught a whiff of his foul smelling breath, a mixture of rum and barnicles. 'Tells me, how does ya feel about 42 year old virgin pirates with one leg, three arms and who smell.......?' he enquired. I didnt wait to see his next move, i ran back out side (whist dodging the evil granny on a pogo stick) i checked to see if the pirate was following-he was no where in sight. I lept onto my bike and sped of in shower of gravel and stones. Then, out of the corner of my eye, i saw the Captin peg eye, flinging his one leg and three arms wildly in an attempt to catch up with me, he was gaining and fast. i peddled harder, this mearly made him angrier. He was right behind me now, i could feel his barnicle breath on my neck now.... Then from round the corner came a speading joy rider on a steam roller, vearing wildly to the left, i just missed an untimley end, i turned just in time to see captin peg eye, give one last 'Yarrg' and then bound straight under the steam roller. i laughed, and said 'Steam rollers always were his weak point' i adjusted my eyebrow to a suitable Roger Moore pose, and rode back home... Next issue: My trip to buy a shed: captin peg eyes return (with a scratch on one side of his face). Theres my true story about modern day life for a 14 year old single male, i thank you.
I take what n0e says way too seriously
14th May 2000
The other day I saw an old couple getting out of a new Cadilac, and after the man shut his door, it equiped the alarm, and when the lady got out it went off. The man stood there in awe, looking back and forth between his keys and remote, and the car. After a moment, he tried to put the starter key in the door to unlock it... After this I jumped out of my car, and walked up and pressed the unlock button for him, unequiping the alarm. He thanked me, and I thought he should read he manual.