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yod@

I'm way cooler than n0e (who isn't though?)

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14th April 2004

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#1 13 years ago

you know there are so many cliches in movies like

  • Women stand wide-eyed, hand to mouth, while hero battles villain. Women never thinks to clonk villain
  • If you are a princess, you always have a favorite lady in waiting, and you always send her to warn the hero of the evil king's intention just in time.
  • The bad guy is the foreigner. Corollary: the foreigner is the guy who speaks English with an English accen

want to share some? :naughty:




irf_an316

I post to get attention

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27th July 2004

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#2 13 years ago

well ! to make hero great




MiKe_89

The Internet ends at GF

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13th August 2004

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#3 13 years ago

* The hero always wins.

* The leading male and female always falls in love.

Im not sure about the second. I really cant think of anything else.




yod@

I'm way cooler than n0e (who isn't though?)

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14th April 2004

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#4 13 years ago

here i read some thing on independence day

-It is reasonable to assume that the quality of the training of United States Marine Corps pilots is such that any Marine fly boy could hop into an alien spacecraft and immediately be able to fly it into deep space

-The White House press secretary has a listed phone number

-When stuck in a tunnel and faced with Armageddon in the form of a fireball that is capable of obliterating all life in Los Angeles, simply duck into a maintenance closet and let the end of the world pass you by

-Despite the fact that we are able to send a fax from a beeper on our hip while walking down a street in San Francisco to a Range Rover in Johannesburg, alien spacecraft need to be hardwired to a satellite to speak to each other

-High class strippers with a heart of gold can operate most heavy equipment

-It is not beyond the realm of imagination that the President of the United States would be a fighter jock and would be willing to return to active duty to do battle with invincible alien bad guys

-Alien spacecraft the size of Australia can be taken out with one well-placed sidewinder missile

-Most laptops are configured with interfaces powerful enough to override the communications systems of the most sophisticated futuristic societies

-Despite the fact that they wear biomechanical body armor that can only be removed with a scalpel and the fact that they possess hyper-developed brains that allow them to destroy their enemies simply by thinking about it, alien fighter pilots have a glass jaw and can be knocked unconscious for hours with one punch

-If you are a woman who: 1)survives a blast from an alien spacecraft that wipes out Los Angeles 2)lives through the ensuing helicopter crash 3)survives while buried by rubble 4)survives despite being transported by open backed diesel truck across the worst terrain ever created...do not check into a military hospital with the best medical help money can buy because YOU WILL DIE

-Despite the fact that no living person, even on a clear day with a map and two state troopers providing an escort, can negotiate the Los Angeles freeway system without getting lost, nearly-blown-up women can drive through the shattered ruins of a decimated Los Angeles straight to El Toro

-When you crash an alien spacecraft into the high desert because you were hurtled back through the earth's atmosphere by an atomic blast you set off, the fact that you do not have a parachute or any other visible means of slowing your fall does not mean that you should not walk away from the wreckage completely unscathed and straight into your girl's arms

-The standard trip home from space, when assisted by an atomic blast, lasts approximately two to three pulls on a cigar

-Although aliens possess technological capabilities millions of years beyond our own that enables them to embed secret codes in our satellite network, they can be stymied by Morse Code, which is generally printed on the front panel of a child's walkie talkie

-The most sophisticated labs in the world have impenetrable vault doors buried 30 stories into mountains but use regular hardware store glass panes for observation rooms in the lab nerve center - Although aliens possess tentacles dexterous enough to manipulate human vocal cords from outside the throat when the need to speak strikes them, they can not open a door for themselves

-The correct military honor for a hero who saves the world by sacrificing his own life by flying directly into the alien death ray is to clap and cheer wildly in front of the hero's family immediately after he perishes

-Any vehicle, including clunkers, can make the trip down from Manhattan to Washington D.C. in just a few hours in gridlocked end-of-the-world type traffic




MiKe_89

The Internet ends at GF

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13th August 2004

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#5 13 years ago

lol, funny ones.

The most sophisticated labs in the world have impenetrable vault doors buried 30 stories into mountains but use regular hardware store glass panes for observation rooms in the lab nerve center

they had to have regular glass, or they couldnt save the president. :wink:.

Try these:

"When you enjoy something, you must never let logic get too much in the way. Like the villains in all the James Bond movies. Whenever Bond breaks into the complex: 'Ah, Mr. Bond, welcome, come in. Let me show you my entire evil plan and then put you in a death machine that doesn't work'." -- Jerry Seinfeld, "Sein Language"

VILLAINS The bad guy is the foreigner.

Corollary: the foreigner is the guy who speaks English with an English accent

The bad guy also has a side-kick muscleman, who has some sort of trademark gimmick that he/she uses to eliminate opponents.

You must kill or decomission this muscleman by forcing a backfiring of this trademarked gimmick. If the muscleman dispatched by a different method, he/she is not dead. (For that matter, don't assume that anyone is dead unless their death was spectacular. Beware sequels.) No matter how dead you think you've killed a bad guy, he can still get up at least 3 more times. Therefore, always make sure to leave his gun in or near his hand after you've killed him and you turn away to comfort the girl.

When a villain seems dead, he never is. He will always be allowed one, and sometimes two resurrections. The hero will frequently see him coming, even if his back is turned. If he doesn't, a friend will finish the villain off. The bad guy usually kills his henchman for failing, yet don't seem to run out of loyal henchmen.

Bad guys lurk until their presence is revealed by a flash of lightning. You can kill the bad guy by taking careful note of any object that the camera has lingered on for an unnecessarly length of time; typically this is something like a meathook or a jagged bit of glass.

You will be involved in a mighty struggle, and at the appropriate time you can become inspired (usually by either an insult from the bad guy or a look of faith from your love interest) with strength enough to force the bad guy into/onto/under/in front of the aforementioned object.

Actor's Equity (Hollywood) requires that within 15 seconds either side of the bad guy's demise, you utter your trademark phrase. Whenever a villian has captured the hero, he will pause for 5 minutes to tell the hero _every_ detail of his plan to destroy and/or rule the earth, including times, dates, and addresses. The bad guy, having finally gotten the good guy into his clutches, will usually spend a few meglomaniac minutes gloating over his victory and his opponent's downfall. This increment of time will prove just enough to allow the good guy to figure a way out of his predicament, or just long enough to allow a rescue attempt.

The bad guy, instead of simply offing the captured good guy on the spot, will devise some sort of drawn-out, fiendishly clever method of execution that will take enough time to allow the good guy to figure out his escape. You can always tell which nationality the United States and the popular media are currently most unhappy with because that nation sends all their villains to star in Hollywood movies during those times (e.g. Germans in the late 40's and 50's, Asians in the 60's and 70's, Soviets in the 70's and 80's and Middle Easterners in the 90's).

-




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#6 13 years ago

Heh yoda well Independance Day is afterall a comedy. More serious comedy, but a comedy nonetheless.




Master of Reality

I'm lying when I say trust me

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8th June 2004

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#7 13 years ago

always blame the french.




yod@

I'm way cooler than n0e (who isn't though?)

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14th April 2004

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#8 13 years ago

the hero never gets hurt inspite of the hail of bullets, and he can kill 2 with one bullet lol




FireSphere

I'm too cool to Post

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13th February 2004

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#9 13 years ago

Haha.




bagabondo

Insanity at it's finest

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20th February 2003

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#10 13 years ago

The good guy, whenever he get's the occasion to kill the enemy once and for all, he waits 5 minutes for explantions from the bad guy/or say a quote, the bad guy by that time could have escaped, but he stays where he is waiting to get a well-placed shot in the head.

the male and female who hate eachother will end up loving eachother to death.

in horror movies: the victim always fall on the floor and break his/her(mostly her) ankle.

When in life or death issues, the victim will always choose the way that is the safeless for him/her.

The murderer will always find the victim and kill her even he should no longer be a threat.

The victim will always be scared by someone who is not the murderer.

the murderer is always a relative.

in police movies: The police/detective will always not be shaved, will suffer of paranoia, will smoke and sometimes be corrupted.




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