Snakes On A Plane 62 replies

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The future is in my pants.

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5th July 2006

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#61 14 years ago

Hey everyone, I've been pretty busy lately BUT I have not been busy enough not to go see SNAKES ON A PLANE! Oh yes, possibly the movie with the greatest premise since Teen Wolf. I saw this "film" with five Review writers and this is my review. Samuel L. Jackson stars as Samuel L. Jackson playing a cop on a plane. Australia's own Nathan Philips stars as a witness to an execution which was ironically poorly executed. The rest of the cast [excluding High Fidelity's Todd Luiso and Anchorman's David Koechner] are made up of "actors' who are usually seen [or not seen] for $16.95 at hotel in-house movies. But the real stars of this film are the computerized serpents that come to life like a toddlers crayon depiction of Nemo. What I liked most about the movie was that for those crippled with a fear of snakes need not worry because these snakes are about as realistic as Kevin Federline's talent. These snakes may not look real but boy are they nasty? They will bite you anywhere and when I say anywhere I meant it... necks, heads, nipples, arses and etc. Yes, that's right at one point it seems the natural enemy of the cobra is the trouser snake. There are so many questions thrown up in Snakes On A Plane and you have to hand it to the writers they don't seem to care to answer one of them. How did the snakes get on the plane? Did the criminals really exhaust every other option before deciding that their best chance of knocking off a witness was to put snakes on a plane before releasing pheromones on Hawaiian leis? How did this film get made? Yes, this plot has more snake holes in it than a place with plenty of snake holes. You may be getting the impression that I didn't enjoy Snakes On A Plane, well, you are wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. This film is so bad its genius; insert another Kevin Federline reference here. My advice is go and see this film with a group of mates, piss yourself senseless [not literally, cinema staff have enough problems sweeping up popcorn], go out afterwards and have a drink and piss yourself laughing again [this time literally, bar staff are more equipped for this situation]. Don't take my word for it; here is what the other writers thought of Snakes On A Plane: 'Frankly I'd like to sit next to a snake on a plane. At least they don't hog the armrest.' –Richard Marsland (feeling all Gary Larson) 'I love snakes. And I love planes. So I've definitely been waiting for this exact film for a long time!' –Ryan Shelton 'Other commentators have criticised this film for having "too many snakes and not enough planes." I think that's simplistic. Any director could add 'excitement' and 'hype' to a movie by just putting more and more planes in it, but that's the easy way out. It takes a much braver artist to stay true to his muse and dare to focus on a subtle, non-Hollywood issue like a million CGI snakes biting bare breasts and swallowing people's faces whole. Bravo, David R. Ellis, bravo.' –Kynan Barker Enjoy Lolly.


All my base are belong to n0e

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21st July 2006

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#62 14 years ago

Thanks for writing about it, but this was already posted:



Hi, im bored

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19th July 2006

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#63 14 years ago

BADASS MOVIE! i loved it!