The 'Idol' gods must be crazy
Sigh. Remember when idols were really, really BIG? Elvis Presley. Frank Sinatra. Zeus. It may be asking too much to expect Greek deities to emerge from American Idol (Tuesday on Fox, 8 ET/PT), but as long as we're pretending that the show's three finalists represent the finest voices to be culled from the great American choir, why not dream big?
Still presiding supreme over the acropolis is Carrie Underwood, or Nike, goddess of victory and soon-to-be-spokesmodel for running shoes and whatever else Idol deems worthy of sponsorship. It not only takes drive and focus to get through Idol's elimination rounds, you have to drive a Focus to meet the contract stipulations.
Bo Bice can be Hyperion, the god of light, or for Idol purposes, lite. He could be Hype for short. And Vonzell Solomon? She's the tragic Adikia, goddess of injustice, who despite tackling challenging tunes and improving greatly over the past 12 weeks is routinely subject to harsher criticism than her co-finalists and most likely will be kicked to the curb on Wednesday.
Music mogul Clive Davis, who produced albums by past Idol winners and will face the daunting task of making a record with Bo or Carrie, joins the judges tonight. Let's make him Poseidon, god of the sea, or the high C, in this case. And let's see if he can make a Poseidon adventure that doesn't end in campy, capsizing disaster.
A Greek goddess label isn't a bad fit, in terms of the vacant-eyed alabaster variety found in sculpture gardens. Gamble and Huff, the Philly songwriting/production duo, should have left in a huff after Carrie's limp and lost version of If You Don't Know Me by Now. The bombastic arrangement deserves some blame, but nothing except an overdose of curare could explain Carrie's total emotional disconnect. The limestone cowgirl managed to break out of her marble cast in a naughty and high-kicking cover of the Dixie Chicks' Sin Wagon. All was forgiven. She remains the front-runner.
Bo's drowsy reading of the Travis Tritt tune It's a Great Day to Be Alive felt more like an audition for Dawn of the Dead. He snapped out of his coma for an amazing comeback on the Kenny Gamble/Leon Huff classic For the Love of Money. The faux Bo that had struck clichéd rock poses in the past suddenly morphed into the real deal with an electrifying and gritty tour de force. His vocals still lack distinction and depth, but he delivered the song's funky pizazz and sported the proper pimp threads to boot. He could prove nettlesome to the Carrie-onward crowd.
I'm lying when I say trust me
8th June 2004
I haven't seen that show since like last season. So I don't really care about it anymore. I mainly watched it to see what Simon had to say. :D
Why are you here, Streetgas? Mack
I Watch amercam idol alllllllll the time, i'm voteing for bo lol my dog's name it bobo lol