Why LOTR sucks 129 replies

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Count Nosferatu

The Count Stalks...

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22nd February 2004

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#1 13 years ago

If you came here expecting a comment based on a certain sad Maddox article hit the "back" key.

VertigoI don't think you quite understand... "LotR" and "cheap" aren't two words that gel because it took about two hundred million dollars to make.

And how much money did it make? It was cheap... based on a cheap story (Silmarillon is better in any case) aimed to get maximum amount of money reliant on CGI effects. There wasn't any real acting, no proper plot or story, abundant homosexual undertones, enough CGI to do your head in and, much of the story cut out to boot (which let's face it wasn't that good). EG Cue unknown evil which appears with megalomaniacal tendencies (no reason... its LOTR remember? Cue Frodo finds out he is the world's ONLY hope. Cue dramatic face (eyes wide open in shock, mouth open in stupor). Cue dramatic music. Cue dramatic dialogue "you are our only hope. You must do this. We will all help you to the end of time. If you fail evil WILL overcome us". Cue Sam slobbering over him every second of his screen time. Cue instant success at box office. If it was a simple action adventure flick with a following it would be ok. But pseudo intellectuals and cinema goers claim it to be a) the best film ever and b) the most smart film. No LOTR is NOT a smart book... it has never been and never will be. There are no themes, no relevancies, no morals or messages, no scope for intelligent thought, nothing. Its just a story of a bunch of people who run around and hack things up and bing stick a ring in a volcano... the end. No LOTR is NOT the best film of all time or even close to the top 100, nay 200 films of all time. Especially that piece of crap ROTK (which had no story whatsoever and the same shit acting).




Mihail VIP Member

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19th January 2003

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#2 13 years ago

It's not the best movie, but it was pretty good, but then again with a big buget, any movie can become epic.




Vertigo

Heel commentator

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24th October 2002

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#3 13 years ago

@ Count Nosferato: *groans*. You could have told me you didn't have a sense of humour, then I could have saved myself the effort of replying.




amoreelitesoldier

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8th July 2004

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#4 13 years ago
Count Nosferatu No proper plot

Did you watch the movies? The plot was to destroy the ring...pleased.gif The movies were waaaaaaay too long, at about 3 hours each, ROTK being like 3:20...I saw FOTR about 7 times in theaters, TTT 4 times, and ROTK 2 or 3 :) I guess you could say I was either really bored, or liked the movies...I think it was a bit of both, though more of the first:p It's just a movie, don't let it ruin your day:D oh, and just curious, where are the homosexual undertones?confusedx.gif




Kadaj

My E-peen wouldn't fit here :(

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4th October 2004

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#5 13 years ago
No LOTR is NOT a smart book... it has never been and never will be. There are no themes, no relevancies, no morals or messages, no scope for intelligent thought, nothing. Its just a story of a bunch of people who run around and hack things up and bing stick a ring in a volcano... the end.

you have either never read or the book, or are a complete retard with no sense, who cannot read to save his life.




amoreelitesoldier

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#6 13 years ago
Kadaj you have either never read or the book, or are a complete retard with no sense, who cannot read to save his life.

:agreed




Mosquitoman73

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23rd May 2004

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#7 13 years ago
Kadajyou have either never read or the book, or are a complete retard with no sense, who cannot read to save his life.

icon_werd.gif Just because something isn't all that original doesn't mean it can't be good. Although, at the time the book was written it was a lot more original than it would be if it were written today.




emonkies

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16th July 2003

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#8 13 years ago

If the book is so unpopular and crappy why is it one of the best selling books for years now? Why has it remained so popular?

Even before the movies for me it was hard to find people who had not read or at least heard of the trilogy.

And IMHO the 3 movies did a fantastic job of keeping faithful to the books. One of the few book based movies where the directors ego didnt try to change things in the movie.

So in the end it sounds like the problem was not that the movies sucked, it seems more like Fantasy stories are not very interesting for you.




Count Nosferatu

The Count Stalks...

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#9 13 years ago
Anlushac11If the book is so unpopular and crappy why is it one of the best selling books for years now? Why has it remained so popular? Even before the movies for me it was hard to find people who had not read or at least heard of the trilogy. And IMHO the 3 movies did a fantastic job of keeping faithful to the books. One of the few book based movies where the directors ego didnt try to change things in the movie. So in the end it sounds like the problem was not that the movies sucked, it seems more like Fantasy stories are not very interesting for you.[/quote] Naa its the LOTR trilogy which are totally overrated for me. I never said they were unpopular... if they were unpopular that would suit me fine but they are treated by many as literary masterpieces (yeah yeah sure long = better... shame War & Peace and Le Goff's St Louis dick over those for lengths). [QUOTE=Kadaj]you have either never read or the book, or are a complete retard with no sense, who cannot read to save his life.

I have indeed read the book(s). They are not even well written... they are just long winded and totally self-indulgent and because of this are seen as being masterpieces. Not because of their word play or sharpness or anything intelligent they say. What other books have you read?

The plot was to destroy the ring...

Eeexactly. That's it. You call that a plot?! And themes? Oh how to throw a ring in a maw. There are sideplots yes... such as "love stories" where everything works out well. If I want love stories I'd watch chick flicks. They're not even Shakespearean love stories either, insofar as everyone gets married but something's not totally right with them (12th Night for instance). Kingship? Er... it has nothing to do with kingship, especially given that it was written when the English monarchy wasn't a significant part in English politics. It's as if you wrote a book on monarchy and everyone who has no idea of what monarchy even is hailed it as the greatest thing in existence.

where are the homosexual undertones

Cue Sam and Frodo touching each other every other moment. I could count the minutes that the two weren't in some form of contact (in proportion to their screen time) if I was turned on by such acts... but I'm not. One scene springs to mind - Frodo in bed Merry and Pippin hopping up and down on the bed. I half expected Sam to pop up from under the sheets.

The movies were waaaaaaay too long,

Classic films over 3 hours: Oldboy Shawshank 7 Samurai Godfather 2 And others which I can't be bothered to name




Nusentinsaino

A new sense of nuisance.

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#10 13 years ago

I have to admit that the LOTR Trilogy was a bit over-rated. I used to fall in love with the trilogy and how Gandalf kicked ass and all... But getting older and realizing things has helped me to figure that the LOTR trilogy was over-rated, It is not the best trilogy ever but it was a good one... well made... not the worse.