25th February 2002
Ok, those who say we here @ GCNetwork have no humor are very, very wrong. No, this isn't a referral to the No more Mario games thing that a certain old worker :cough: Whitestar:cough: wrote. This is about a submitted news I got from a fan (Yes, GCNETWORK FANS EXIST!) Check this out:
You should probably be notified that Nintendo hardware has more than one intended use. Besides playing games on dinky discs, it is an alarm clock with GPS navigation abilities! Though this is classified information, I am privy to morsels of unheard of proportions. Need proof? Simple. Enter coordinates in the GPS menu for a specified location. For example, I could enter 02, 04, 260, 186. This would bring us to a spicy eatery in Las Vegas, Nevada. After arriving at said cajun palace, the 'Cube would notify us of any potential threats in the area including pouncing kitties, rabies infected canines, etc. The 'Cube would also wake an unconscious human(s) after a thug attack. If the user is not fully functional or feels fuzzy-headed from extended use of various barbituates or an all-out beating, the 'Cube will wirelessly transmit an S.O.S. to the local Freelance Headhunter and Drug Supplier's Association who responds accordingly, tracks the 'Cube's location, and takes appropriate action. ...more proof? It's genius, really. Nintendo has more up their sleeve than Kirby pinball style Console/Handheld communication breakthroughs. The international launch of the Game Boy Advance was one of the largest experiments ever conducted in our world. What may seem like a toy is in fact another in stealth tracking technology. Using a slightly modified form of the 'Cube's GPS synthesizer, Nintendo plants series III low-level current GPS hardware in every Advance that hits the shelves. Streams of information about users' playing habits, travel preferences, and sexual conduct is reported with duly punctuality to Nintendo America headquarters in Redmond, Washington. Just as in 1947, when Nintendo founded the distribution company Marufuku Co. Ltd., 2002 and beyond holds unlimited potential for a war waged undetected by unsuspecting drones of doped up pocket portablillies. Of particular interest is the year 2009, when Nintendo plans to unveil an entirely new concept of marketing. Just as Pokemòn stunned a world with glittery trading cards and a truckload of pivotal licensees, '09 will be the year of the brain. Marufuku Co. Ltd. will be responsible for distributing wireless brain burrowing candy that feeds on more than our "basic" emotions. Games have always been designed for the purpose of entertainment, a universal need of any bloodletting body be it adventure, action, puzzlers, or badly written RPG's. With Marufuku's technology, game goes out the window, replaced with an experience that mimicks life's every nuance. Further information classifed until later briefing. _bradley wisted_
If that was true, we wouldn't have to worry about Micro$oft and $Ony! Haha. :D
I didn't make it!
:D [COLOR=orangered]Of course Nintendo has more things up their sleeves. Nintendo, doesn't plan on file-ing for bankruptcy any time soon. I hope. Nintendo, has already rocked my mind with those Mario Party 4 screen shots and some shots of Phantasy Star Online Version 2.0. I'll be reserving those copies.[/COLOR] :D
infected cannines, lol :lol: