21 Ways to be a Good Democrat -1 reply

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Gen'l Knight

Can't ... give peace a chance?

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10th April 2004

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#1 12 years ago

I found this rather amusing myself and, of course, the secret of good humor is to be based on truth. It is good to have a fair and balanced relationship in politics, isn't it? I mean, one post about Mr. Bush should alsways have a counter of sorts. This is really for folks from the USA but all you good humored folks from all the world can have some enjoyment out of this as well. 21 Ways to be a Good Democrat - 1. You have to be against capital punishment, but support abortion on demand.

2. You have to believe that businesses create oppression and governments create prosperity. (This one is really important)

3. You have to believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than U.S. nuclear weapons technology in the hands of Chinese and North Korean communists.

4. You have to believe that there was no art before Federal funding.

5. You have to believe that global temperatures are less affected by cyclical documented changes in the earth's climate and more affected by soccer moms driving SUV's.

6. You have to believe that gender roles are artificial but being homosexual is natural.

7. You have to believe that the AIDS virus is spread by a lack of federal funding.

8. You have to believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th-graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

9. You have to believe that outdoorsmen don't care about nature, but loony activists who have never been outside of San Francisco do.

10. You have to believe that self-esteem is more important than actually doing something to earn it.

11. You have to believe that Mel Gibson spent $25 million of his own money to make The Passion of the Christ for financial gain only.

12. You have to believe the NRA is bad because it supports certain parts of the constitution, while the ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the Constitution.

13. You have to believe that taxes are too low, but ATM fees are too high.

14. You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinem are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson, Gen. Robert E. Lee, and Thomas Edison.

15. You have to believe that standardized tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides are not.

16. You have to believe that Hillary Clinton is normal and is a very nice person.

17. You have to believe that the only reason socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried is because the right people haven't been in charge.

18. You have to believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and a sex offender belonged in the White House.

19. You have to believe that homosexual parades displaying drag, transvestites, and bestiality should be constitutionally protected, and manger scenes at Christmas should be illegal.

20. You have to believe that illegal Democratic Party funding by the Chinese Government is somehow in the best interest to the United States.

21. You have to believe that this message is a part of a vast, right wing conspiracy




RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

Jeff is a mean boss

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28th July 2002

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#2 12 years ago

nice post


If there is no image, Mikey broke something...



Yossarian

Moose frots Obama

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28th March 2005

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#3 12 years ago

Typical political mad-libbery.

Who cares?

Edit: after careful consideration and much internal reflection, I have decided that this list succeeded in convincing me that every single one of my political beliefs are in fact mistakes. Thank you!




Jetro

There's a satchel on your tank

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6th December 2004

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#4 12 years ago

Oh no.... Here come the flames.




Real-BadSeed

Science experiment

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5th December 2004

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#5 12 years ago

you americans need a 3rd legitimate party, then you really get some good mud slinging lol




RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

Jeff is a mean boss

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28th July 2002

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#6 12 years ago

Jetro your sig is too big. 800x160 max


If there is no image, Mikey broke something...



[130pz.]Kading

I take what n0e says way too seriously

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9th April 2005

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#7 12 years ago

silly democrats. its times like this that i am glad to be a socialist. TO EACH WHAT IS NEEDED, FROM EACH WHAT CAN BE SPARED!!!! HUZAH EQUALITY!!




Jetro

There's a satchel on your tank

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6th December 2004

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#8 12 years ago
Real-BadSeedyou americans need a 3rd legitimate party, then you really get some good mud slinging lol

Nah we'll just ping pong between our two parties. Get mad at the republicans and go democrat then get mad at the democrats and go republican, completely oblivious to the truth... They both suck.:rolleyes:




Frenkan

Trying to stay out of room 101

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30th April 2004

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#9 12 years ago

Let the republican-democrat fight begin! In the left corner we have Franklin D. Roosevelt, looking grim in his Republican-annihilator wheelchair 3000 equipped with two gatling-guns and a tomahawk cruise missile launcher. In the right corner we have Abraham Lincoln, eagerly starting up his Democrat slayer chainsaw model 1862. Lincoln recently had an EMP grenadelauncher installed into his hat which could spell trouble for Roosevelt. Now, lets get it on!




Fuzzy Bunny

Luke, I am your mother.

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2nd May 2005

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#10 12 years ago

Why is most political "humor", no matter what side it's from, just so damn un-funny?