Cows of Government -1 reply

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hockeywarrior2

A superior 5-digit number

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26th June 2004

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#1 10 years ago

I don't know if any of you guys have seen this list before, but I originally saw it as a poster in one of my history teacher's classroom. I think it pretty much sums up everything with 2 cows....

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and as many eggs as the regulations say you should need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

SINGAPOREAN DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

MILITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

AMERICAN DEMOCRACY: The government promises to give you two cows if you vote for it. After the election, the president is impeached for speculating in cow futures. The press dubs the affair "Cowgate".

BRITISH DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. You feed them sheeps' brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows..

ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to kill you and take the cows.

CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

HONG KONG CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly - listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother - in - law at the bank, then execute a debt / equity swap with associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping five cows. The milk rights of six cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all seven cows' milk back to the listed company. The annual report says that the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the two cows because the fung shiu is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM: You have two cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FEMINISM: You have two cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

COUNTER CULTURE: Wow, dude, there's like... these two cows, man. You got to have some of this milk.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

LIBERTARIANISM: You have two cows. One has actually read the constitution, believes in it, and has some really good ideas about government. The cow runs for office, and while most people agree that the cow is the best candidate, nobody except the other cow votes for her because they think it would be "throwing their vote away."




Wooly_Bully

I love my ball

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30th January 2005

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#2 10 years ago
hockeywarrior2;4414625 SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

:lol: That's the one for me. On the subject of cows: I love Cravendale.

Spoiler: Show



Flying Carpet Of Death

Because lemons are yellow.

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12th May 2007

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#3 10 years ago

lol i have seen this before but it is very funny none the less!




[130.Pz]W.Fuchs

Requiescat in Pace

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19th March 2008

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#4 10 years ago
TOTALITARIANISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and denies they ever existed. Milk is banned.

Genius. :cool:




A_tree

Worse things happen at sea.

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7th January 2006

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#5 10 years ago
SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

Hopefully one day we can all live in a world like this.




Ofw. Josef Schneider

Herr Ober, die Rechnung bitte

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19th October 2007

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#6 10 years ago

You forgot germany, where actually one of those cows became chancellor... oh no wait, forget what I just said.




Kubador

First in Hell

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18th November 2007

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#7 10 years ago
boller;4414852You forgot germany, where actually one of those cows became chancellor... oh no wait, forget what I just said.

lol, and goes to see football tournaments:p.




Mr. BlOnd.Dk

Pro Rege Et Grege

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5th March 2006

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#8 10 years ago

Hehe :D Is it a poster you can buy somewhere? :)




hockeywarrior2

A superior 5-digit number

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26th June 2004

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#9 10 years ago

Well the original poster that I saw didn't have all of those fields on it... and it had pictures to go with each type of government that made it even more funny! I've been having problems finding a picture of the poster itself though.




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#10 10 years ago

I could really use harmonica lessons.




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