Man ruins the planet -1 reply

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jumjum

Write heavy; write hard.

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11th April 2005

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#1 10 years ago

There is no doubt the planet is in the clutches of a devastating climate change, resulting in temperature increases of as much as 10 degrees F. Yes, I'm afraid it is beyond dispute: Jupiter is having a global climate change, and it's turning up the thermostat. Jupiter: Turbulent Storms May Be Sign Of Global Climate Change

It seems the big "Red Spot" on Jupiter is an incredibly massive storm caused by the climate change and resulting rise in temperature. It has been raging for over 300 years, with winds in excess of 300mph. Obviously the Jupiterians ignored warnings about the use of fossil fuels...or maybe they let the giant planet get too close to the sun, scientists differ.

Most politically active and real, real smart "good" scientists* and other political activists who think the right way, blame the greed of humans for causing climate change on Earth. However these brilliant minds don't yet have an explanation for how capitalism on Earth has caused the terrible climate destruction on Saturn; but they've got "Saint Al" Gore working something up.

There have also been calls for a UN Emergency Climate Summit in someplace decent like Tahiti, Gstaad, Vienna, Acapulco or Maui. Hundreds of mid-size jets carrying very important self-designated UN climate experts and their extremely attractive confidential assistants, aides d' camp, chefs, security teams and health-and-wellness advisors, are expected to start circling the globe any day now. They are all very sorry about the carbon-footprint thingie they don't want anyone else to leave, but they know the little people will understand how important the UN climate experts are. The American contingent is expected to ask Barack "The Messiah" Obama to attend so that delegates may hear about unspecified hope and generalized change, and thus feel refreshed and all nice and tingly in this otherwise tense and stressful time.

Meanwhile, former US President Jimmy Carter, has asked the US State Department for clearance to travel to Jupiter to seek a peaceful solution. "It's obvious that the US's blind support of Israel has had terrible unforeseen consequences. I just hope I'm not too late to stop the destruction. And I am humbled to know that I am the only person on Earth who can fix this."

Citizens of all political persuasions wish the 83-year-old Carter "Godspeed", and hope he can liftoff very, very soon on his mission to Jupiter, which should take just over 31 months to reach.

* The description as "most scientists" may confuse readers who know that the exact figure is 13.8%. However, in keeping with the New York Times Journalism Stylebook of Politically Correct Reportage, in all stories reflecting numbers of supporters of a liberal cause, any figure may be appropriately reported as "most", regardless of actual number. Conversely, supporters of a fascist and racist, er, uh, conservative position may be referred to as "some" or "a few", even with percentages up to and including 100%. Right-thinking people will agree it is more fair that way.




Moose12

I am also [130.Pz]Gef.Elche Pz

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6th December 2005

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#2 10 years ago

I used to live on Jupiter.




Lobo

All your base are belong to FH

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27th April 2003

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#3 10 years ago

To be honest I am confused with your points of views about life, dear JumJum.

You are a big fan of capitalism, and big fan of total freedom for people so they can make money, no matter if they destroy the world for your grandsons.

Am I right or I am very lost?




jumjum

Write heavy; write hard.

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11th April 2005

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#4 10 years ago

Ah, but you assume as facts mere suppositions which are far, far from proven. My descendants will still be here for centuries, vital to the world and standing as a bulwark against the forces of ignorance, despotism and fanaticism; slavery to which Europe is apparently already doomed through its pitiful willing surrender of its culture and heritage.

Silly rabbit, climate change on Earth has gone on for eons, long before man appeared. It is unimaginably powerful, inevitable and periodic. It can't be hurried or slowed by anything man has done, is doing, will do or even can do. What's more, there's not even anything near convincing evidence we in the Northern Hemisphere are even net warming. For example, factors over the past year (which I admit, for everyone except global warming advocates when the data supports them, is a statistically insignificant period) show a definite cooling pattern.

Oh wait, that's supposed to be global warming too, isn't it? It's hard to get the global warming Queen of Hearts-style rules right.




JohnWalker

The Few. The Proud.

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14th November 2004

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#5 10 years ago

Jupiter should follow Neptunes pattern, which cut down on carbon emmitions enough to eliminate the Great Dark Spot in '96. The move was a long time coming, as most people called the GDS insesative and racist. I don't know about this 'nothing man can do' nonsense. I see no reason why we can't alter Earth's climate.




SmackBulb

toodles

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17th May 2008

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#6 10 years ago

Ah fuck. Not again. :p




MrFancypants Forum Admin

The Bad

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7th December 2003

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#7 10 years ago
jumjum;4356128 slavery to which Europe is apparently already doomed through its pitiful willing surrender of its culture and heritage.

But then again when I learn Spanish it is out of free will, not out of necessity :P

It is strange to see how you teach about climate change being a continuous process that can't be stopped and then condemn people who have the exact same opinion about culture. I am really glad that our culture is changing, things have improved quite a bit over the last 100 years.

As for global warming; I'd rather err on the side of caution. Besides, improving effectiveness of our machines and decreasing pollution is something people should strive for in any case.




Lobo

All your base are belong to FH

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27th April 2003

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#8 10 years ago

___ {o,o} |)__) -"-"-

O RLY?, who told you that propaganda about climatic change on Earth, the "scientist" hired by the Big pollutioning Companies?, I guess some 3rd level technicians bought by Texaco, General Motors, Shell, Boeing, etc, etc, etc know more than the best experts in climatic issues....keep talking.

Listen, we are just blinkings in the History of the Earth and even with our painfully short existence we can feel the change in our bones, when I was kid the things were diferent, now the winters are not winters, it doesn't rain or it rains in weird timeframes and all kind of crazy stuff, something is changing and is dramatically noticeable.

You can keep sucking the ass of the Boss of the Money, arrogant dinosaur

Signed: A free european, and proud of it, JODER!!!




Moose12

I am also [130.Pz]Gef.Elche Pz

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6th December 2005

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#9 10 years ago

Joder, ahha. Love ya lobo.




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#10 10 years ago
But then again when I learn Spanish it is out of free will, not out of necessity

Then again you don't share a 1,969 miles (3,169 km) border with a spanish speaking country, infact you share aprox a 0mile (0km) one...

Lets not mention that most of present day southern US was once under Spanish rule...

I'm sure soon though with the sheer amounts of Muslim immigrants over there in Germany, and Germany's "Oh dear we can't risk offending anyone ever since Hitler did that evil thing he did" mentality you will have bigger problems than being forced to speak Spanish...

Aren't the Netherlands already running into problems with people of the Muslim faith trying to change their traditions and customs?

As for global warming Don't worry no matter how bad we F*ck this world up it will find a way to eliminate people (the Parasite) and then go back to being normal...