Here in the US we've just had our annual orgy of indulgence (Super Bowl, not Mardi Gras) and I am reminded how much I detest most pf the "sportscasters" and the tired cliches and garbled jargon they use. I'm not talking player-speak ("we've got to take one game at a time"; "we've got to give 110%"), because it's too depressing for words. I'm talking about horrendous misuses of language by sportscasters who think they are demonstrating their wit, when all they're doing is revelaing their ignorance. So how about some of the hilariously wrong stock phrases and malaprops used by the overpaid faces on televised sporting events? ( For my European friends, I hope this is culturally translatable. I'm noit sure I know anyhting )
My chief one is the eternally abused "prototype", usually as in, "He's a prototype Tight End", referring to an outstanding example of a player at a position in American football. It's use was popularized by those US sportswriters with pretensions to intelligence and a modicum of eductraion. That they thus unitentionally revealed their deficiencies did not stop the word from being instantly embraced and thrown around by even the most brain-damaged player-turned-announcer.
The problem is, that is not the commonly accepted meaning of "prototype". It is most used to describe "an experimetnal model" , or "first in a series". These dolts actually mean to say "archetype" to describe the paragon of a particular class. I fear no correction is possible. I grind my teeth.
Next is the use of the "sports conditional present pluperfect", which is a verb tense unknown to the English language except in American sports broadcasting idiom. In this bastardization, the present tense is used to describe events which occured in the past, and is usually associated with a condition precedent or an alternative resolution of actual events. An example would be an announcer, in describing an earlier play in an American foobtall game, saying, "If the cornerback makes the read and steps up, he snags the pick for six." Why the hell can't they just say, "if the cornerback had read and stepped up, he would have", etc. There's also the vanilla misuse of present tense for past, as in describing yesterdays game by saying, "He goes 18-for-29, throws for 315", but that's so common as to be almost unnoticeable today.
These particularly drive me crazy. But then I like to straighten picture frames...in other persons' homes. Anyone else?
Agreed. "He made a grab!"
I get annoyed at buzzwords, the new one is "Sports related hernia" Now all of the sudden people get them! At work I nail people who start emails with "Going Forward,". Its just very annoying. OH BTH That goes for this forum crap. Words like "teh" and "pwnd". and "!nextmap" heheh!
"And here's Moses Kiptanui, the 19 year old Kenyan, who turned 20 a few weeks ago." (David Coleman) "Its a great advantage to be able to hurdle with both legs" (David Coleman) "We now have exactly the same situation as we had at the start of the race, only exactly the opposite." (Murray Walker) Jimmy Hill: "Don't sit on the fence Terry. What chance doyou think Germany has of getting through? Terry Venables: "I think it's 50-50." "I was in a no-win situation, so I'm glad that I won rather than lost." (Frank Bruno) "There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people." (David Coleman) "The lead car is absolutely unique, except for the one behind it which is identical." (Murray Walker) "I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father." (Greg Norman) "There have been injuries and deaths in boxing, but none of them serious." (Alan Minter) "Watch the time. It gives you an indication of how fast they are running." (Ron Pickering) "That's inches away from being millimetre perfect." (Ted Lowe) "The Queen's Park Oval, exactly as its name suggests, is absolutely round." (Tony Crozier)
and if you google for "dumb sports quotes". Frankly, the only sports-ism I like is the Mexican soccer commentator.
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!! GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALLL! GOAL GOAL GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL! *ack* *heart attack* *gasp* GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAALL!!!!*ack**thump*
"Sports related hernia"
All over the place all of a sudden.
But l'll see your SRH with "pulled hammy" and "turf toe", and then raise you with "high ankle sprain". What, praytell, is the diff? Dear Lord, are there no "low ankle" sprains, or even a "spained ankle" any more?
*edit* Oh yeah, "quarterback controversy". Why the heck is it a "controversy" if you can't settle on a QB, but it's business as usual if you changes left guards like boxer shorts?
And the euphemisitc use of "athletic": "Jim, the Bruisers new defensive line is much more athletic than last year's crew." He really means that the new defensive line is all black, and a whole lot faster than the white guys they replaced.
Only sports-isms I like are the ones the White Sox commentators use (considering they're the only professional sports team I LIKE :lookaround: ).
"I think everyone here is ready to play some FOOTBALL!" "Grand slam!" "Nothing but net!" "SAWWWWISSSSSH!" I have to stop now because now i'm depressed.
L0L, I used to like Murray Walker alot when he commentated Formula 1. "Unless I am very much mistaken, which I am" :D
Richie Benaud, Bill Lawry, Tony Grieg, Mark Taylor, Ian Chappel, Ian Healy
9 Cricket commentry ftw...old bastards prattling on about anything and everything ;)
*loves the cricket*