Polish questions answered.. -1 reply

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Polska

"The original one"

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19th September 2004

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#1 12 years ago

please don't bother commenting if you are sick of the topics about Poland or Poland itself, I don't care. Also note that I took these from another website, so if you find any inaccurateness, don't bother to attack me. ;)

Q: How many Poles did it take to determine that the Earth is NOT the center of the Universe? A: Just one. Nikolas Kopernik (AKA Copernicus) was Polish. Unfortunately he could not prove his theory -- which "heretically" contradicted the officially held "scientific" belief sanctioned by the "infallible" Catholic Church that the Earth was the center of the Universe -- a heresy punishable by death in Medieval Europe. That proof wasn't secured until a hundred years later by Galileo, who had access to the newly invented telescope. Poland was also a hundred years ahead of England with its own version of the Magna Carta (which granted ordinary citizens major legal rights of protection from the state) and a few hundred years ahead of America in being the first nation since ancient Greece to experiment with Democracy -- although a disastrously stilted form, limited to the nobility. (Sort of like the U.S. Senate, come to think of it.)

Q: How many WW2 Polish fighter pilots did it take to shoot down a Nazi plane?

A: 1/9th. Polish fighter pilots flying in all-Polish squadrons of the RAF averaged 9 Nazi planes for each one they lost. Polish pilots in mixed squadrons of the RAF didn't fare so well -- averaging only 4 Nazi planes for each of their losses. Go figure. Q: How long did it take the Nazis to overrun Poland?

A: About as long as it took them to overrun France and drive the first invading British army to the brink of disaster (before Hitler unwisely halted his attack, giving the Brits time to escape certain annihilation.) Of course, the French and British had a hell of a lot more time than the Poles to prepare; were not taken by surprise; and their nations had not been recently restored to the map after a 125 year partitioning by three mighty empires, with little or no help from their allies to rebuild their economies. Q: How do you save 90% of your people from the Black Plague while the rest of Europe loses half their populations?

A: Seal your borders to stop the incursion of it, like Poland (and Holland) did.

Q: Which vitamins are extra special to the Polish people?

A: All of them. The very idea of vitamins and their effect on the human body was discovered by a Pole -- Casimir Funk. Q: How many Polish women does it take to discover radium? A: One. Maria Sklodowska (aka Madame Curie) Q: How did the Poles save Europe from the Turks?

A: In 1683, the Turks had smashed their way northward through Europe and were about to capture Vienna -- the seat of the Holy Roman Empire. Just like in the movies, the cavalry arrived in the nick of time -- in the form of Polish Hussars headed by King Jan Sobieski (the royal ancestor of beautiful and talented actress LeeLee Sobieski). The massive army of Christian knights attempting to defend this key city of Christendom was being cut to ribbons by the fast-moving, scimitar-wielding Turks on their magnificent Arabian horses. But the Polish Hussars were equipped with an ingenious special weapon -- a strange framework of long feathers jutting from their backs. As they charged down the hill toward the battlefield, the wind whistled through the feathers -- creating a ghostly moan which spooked the Turkish horses, throwing their entire cavalry into a panic. (Note: The Poles' horses had been specially trained to work with this sound effect.) If the Poles had not arrived when they did, all of Europe from Greece up through Austria and beyond might be Moslem today. (Which might not be a bad thing, of course, depending on your POV.)

Q: How many Poles did it take to invent the coffeehouse? A: One. After the Battle of Vienna in 1683, a Polish knight claimed the stores of coffee captured from the defeated Turkish army, which were about to be burned by other Europeans as useless. He set up the first coffee house in Europe (in Vienna) and it was an immediate success. (This is debatable.)

Q: How many Poles did it take to secure the decisive victory of the American Revolution?

A: One. (With the help of many brave Americans, of course.) In 1777, the British were in a frustrating position and on the verge of military embarrassment in America. Having more or less pushed Washington's ragtag army about at will with the help of their German mercenaries and their own rugged troops, they had not managed to secure the quick and easy victory they were sure of. Gentleman Johnny Burgoyne, war hero and playwright, longing to sate his ego, concocted a plan to slice the New England "brain" of the rebels from its body in Pennsylvania and the lower Colonies. While Washington's army was called to Philadelphia to defend Congress, a Northern Division was dispatched to the Canadian border to prevent Burgoyne from taking the Hudson Valley and claiming his goal. Among those sent to the very Northern lines at Fort Ticonderoga was a recently arrived Polish freedom fighter named Tadeusz (Thaddeus) Kosciuszko, who was the first of a handful of European adventurers to contribute immensely to the American Cause. Having proven his worth in designing ingenious defenses for Philadelphia, Kosciuszko was sent to help fortify Ticonderoga. Unfortunately, his advise regarding the placement of cannon was dismissed as folly by chauvinistic glory-seeking incompetents in the American command -- which led to the humiliating rout of the American forces by Burgoyne's invading army from Canada. The British victory was swift and effective -- and owed its success directly to the maneuver originally suggested by Kosciuszko. While the Americans fled south with the British on their heels, Kosciuszko rallied a company of woodsmen to protect their retreat by sabotaging the landscape to slow the British pursuers. His tactics were so successful that the British army was slowed to a mile-a-day advance, giving the fleeing Americans plenty of time to escape and regroup near Saratoga. After the Americans reorganized their straggling Northern army and replaced the guilty General Schuyler with General Gates, who was more appreciative of Kosciuszko's talents and more open to his suggestions, Kosciuszko selected a new defensive position and designed new fortifications. (You can visit West Point to get the story in detail!) The resulting Battle of Saratoga is considered the turning point of the American Revolution. As soon as the news of this victory reached France, the formerly recalcitrant French officially joined in an alliance with America, sending thousands of soldiers and weapons to help the cause. Kosciuszko's excellent performance at Saratoga (and earlier, in designing the defenses of Philadelphia) helped to open the door for LaFayette, Von Steuben, Pulaski and other foreign officers -- whose services had met resistance by the countless ambitious American officers jostling for positions of glory. The Polish Count Pulaski organized the first American cavalry. Among his cavaliers was a sharp young officer named Lee -- whose grandson was to be the famous Confederate hero Robert E. Lee. Pulaski is a bit more famous than Kosciuszko. First, because his name is easier to pronounce for the Anglo-American tongue. Second, because he was the first major European figure to die for the American Cause.

Q: How many Polish Jews did it take to finance the American Revolution?

A: One. Haym Salomon was an immigrant from Poland who spoke several languages and had a keen grasp of economics. When Robert Morris was appointed to raise money for the American cause -- which no one really believed was a viable investment until the Battle of Saratoga (see above) -- he went in desperation to Haym Salomon, who raised millions while taking only a fraction of the currently acceptable fee for such brokerage. Morris, who initially distrusted Salomon because of his heritage, eventually relied more and more on him to "do the math" and get the job done. Able to wheel and deal with the many foreign traders arriving in Philadelphia in their native tongues, Salomon was virtually a one man international bank. Ironically, Salomon died in debt after raising millions for America and donating his own fortune to the cause. (He'd also risked his life as a spy in the earlier part of the war and was condemned to be hanged by the British for arson, but that's another story.) On ten separate occasions Congress met to determine how much his heirs were owed by the Committee of Revolutionary Claims. In 1862, they determined the amount to be approximately $650,000. They rounded this figure off to an "even" hundred thousand. But his heirs were never paid a penny.

Q: What is the difference between Polish and American Idealism?

A: Probably the difference between Tadeusz Kosciuszko and his friend Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson argued against slavery but kept slaves all his life. Kosciuszko was given a slave as a gift while fighting for the American cause. To the horror of his American friends, he immediately freed the slave. Later, Kosciuszko decreed in his Last Will and Testament that all the lands he'd been granted in Ohio for his service in the American revolution be sold and the money used to buy freedom and education for black slaves. Jefferson, who was named executor of the will, bowed out of that duty due to "health problems." Q: Why were so many Jews in "anti-Semitic" Poland at the start of WW2? A: Because in the Middle Ages, two great Polish kings had issued Charters of Sanctity to the Jews, which led to Poland being considered "The Promised Land" -- until Swedish and German invaders arrived, bringing an influx of anti-Semitic beliefs traced back to certain anti-Jewish writings attributed to Martin Luther. Q: Why didn't Communism spread throughout Europe when the Reds took Russia?

A: Just as the Turks were stopped at Vienna, the Polish army under Jozef Pilsudski squelched the Bolshevik drive into Europe at the battle known as "The Miracle of the Vistula." After WW2, the Poles were "rewarded" by being tossed to the Soviet bear by their allies.

Q: Who started the end of Communism in modern Europe? A: The Solidarity Movement starring Lech Walesa. The "Round Table" in Poland in 1989 helped establish a free Poland without bloodshed -- and preceded both "the Velvet Revolution" in Czechoslovakia and the "fall of the Berlin Wall."




Fuzzy Bunny

Luke, I am your mother.

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2nd May 2005

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#2 12 years ago

Q: How many Poles does it take to win WWII? A: One. Unarmed, with one hand tied behind his back, hung over (except that the whole Poles and vodka thing is a German propaganda lie, and let's not even get into that garbage about cavalry and tanks) using only a ball-point pen (which, by the way, was invented in Poland, just like fire, the wheel, the pulley, the stirrup, gunpowder, the internal combustion engine, electricity (no, they did not discover it, they invented it), nuclear power and sliced bread) and a serious attitude. And that one hung-over one-armed Polish guy and his ball-point pen would have done it too if it hadn't been for those damn backstabbing Russians, those cowardly French and their constant whingeing about "fall back to the Vistula, no, don't throw rocks at the Germans, you'll make them angry, bla bla bla", the arrogant incompetent British, the Romanians just standing around picking their noses, the jews, the protestants, the freemasons, people named "Nicolai", and a small brown dog in [SIZE=-1]Łódź who JUST WOULDN'T STOP BARKING ALL NIGHT which is why our brave lads (oh wait, lad) were (oh wait, was) so damn tired when the Germans invaded.) And damn, if the krauts didn't lose 98% of their tanks, 72% of their planes, 85% of their artillery and 69% of their infantry (would have been more but they kept running away) to angry Polish farmers armed with sticks. In fact, they only "won" because of Polish tradition of 5 o'clock Borscht break and Polish army quickly stepped out to get cigarettes (back in 1945 to finish things up.) What, you doubt me? How dare you, you biased illiterate. Here, just look: chucknorrishz3.jpgwalesarm7.jpg Note similar facial hair (left is a picture of Lech Walesa in 1939, at the right in 1945 after he shaved off the bottom part of his beard because he kept getting bits of German soldiers stuck in it when he single-handedly conquered North Africa, Italy and France using only his fists and teeth as weapons.) [/SIZE]

(What, you didn't think I was gonna let you get away that easily, did you? :-)




El Chupacabra

::GRUNT::

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20th July 2006

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#3 12 years ago

*votes Fuzzy the funniest member*




Jill

Idiot Action-Adventure Girl

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8th July 2006

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#4 12 years ago
FuzzyBunnyQ: How many Poles does it take to win WWII? A: One. Unarmed, with one hand tied behind his back, hung over (except that the whole Poles and vodka thing is a German propaganda lie, and let's not even get into that garbage about cavalry and tanks) using only a ball-point pen (which, by the way, was invented in Poland, just like fire, the wheel, the pulley, the stirrup, gunpowder, the internal combustion engine, electricity (no, they did not discover it, they invented it), nuclear power and sliced bread) and a serious attitude. And that one hung-over one-armed Polish guy and his ball-point pen would have done it too if it hadn't been for those damn backstabbing Russians, those cowardly French and their constant whingeing about "fall back to the Vistula, no, don't throw rocks at the Germans, you'll make them angry, bla bla bla", the arrogant incompetent British, the Romanians just standing around picking their noses, the jews, the protestants, the freemasons, people named "Nicolai", and a small brown dog in [SIZE=-1]Łódź who JUST WOULDN'T STOP BARKING ALL NIGHT which is why our brave lads (oh wait, lad) were (oh wait, was) so damn tired when the Germans invaded.) And damn, if the krauts didn't lose 98% of their tanks, 72% of their planes, 85% of their artillery and 69% of their infantry (would have been more but they kept running away) to angry Polish farmers armed with sticks. In fact, they only "won" because of Polish tradition of 5 o'clock Borscht break and Polish army quickly stepped out to get cigarettes (back in 1945 to finish things up.) What, you doubt me? How dare you, you biased illiterate. Here, just look: chucknorrishz3.jpgwalesarm7.jpg Note similar facial hair (left is a picture of Lech Walesa in 1939, at the right in 1945 after he shaved off the bottom part of his beard because he kept getting bits of German soldiers stuck in it when he single-handedly conquered North Africa, Italy and France using only his fists and teeth as weapons.) [/SIZE] (What, you didn't think I was gonna let you get away that easily, did you? :-)

You really made me laugh. You have a great sense of humor. I'm mostly Polish and Yugoslavian.




Lobo

All your base are belong to FH

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27th April 2003

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#5 12 years ago
Polskaplease don't bother commenting if you are sick of the topics about Poland or Poland itself, I don't care.

We are skick of topics about Poland :lol: Where is the pic of a pole gal to support your point? :donitz:




Buddy Jesus

Who's your buddy

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6th September 2004

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#6 12 years ago

I hate how people bash Poland. I'm half Polish and I'm glad I was able to read these facts, pretty interesting.




Komrad_B

Score Monkey

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2nd September 2004

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#7 12 years ago
I hate how people bash Poland. I'm half Polish and I'm glad I was able to read these facts, pretty interesting.

Actually, I'd say the poles are worshiped around here. The main reason why FH is so damn popular is because holy relics like the TKS tankette are playable, everyone knows that. Rep going to Fuzzy Bunny for the funny post, and Pornska for interesting, albeit biaised, information.




Gen'l Knight

Can't ... give peace a chance?

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10th April 2004

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#8 12 years ago

Good post Polska. In a past life without grandfathers immigrating, the Poles would be my southern neighbors (from Lithuania). In the US, there are a lot of counties named Kosciosko (vice Kosciuszko) and I remember hearing of his help during the Revolutionary War being taught in probably junior or high school many moons ago.

Madam Curie I knew about as well. Bright woman that one, especially as she got older.

Ya know bright, radium, glows, exposure, oh well....




FlyGuy45

*TRA* Spsk. Pilotka VVS

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22nd June 2005

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#9 12 years ago

Now...

Q.How many "Poland obessed pornstars" does GF need? A.One, Pornstar Polska! Bashing Poland haters for many months!




pvt. Allen

I would die without GF

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20th July 2005

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#10 12 years ago

To be honest I never feel like opinions about Poland are balanced. When I was younger I didn't knew that much about my country's history and underestimated it. Luckily it occured that it was pretty impressive in some parts. But now more often I feel like mainly Poles are praising their country like it would be considered worst thing in the world, and they had to defend it's reputation for all cost. Yes, you can praise it's history, but let's not get too nationalistic.:p It's only our current government and state of affairs that deserves bashing, and not without a reason.:)