100 Reasons why it's great to be a guy 121 replies

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UGSAce

Webernet Law Enforcement

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26th July 2005

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#1 13 years ago

i agree with all of them

# Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

# Movie nudity is virtually always female.

# You know stuff about tanks.

# A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.

# Monday Night Football.

# You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.

# Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

# You can open all your own jars.

# Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.

# Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

# When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.

# Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

# All your orgasms are real.

# A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

# Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.

# You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.

# You understand why Stripes is funny.

# You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

# Your last name stays put.

# You can leave a hotel bed unmade.

# When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

# You can kill your own food.

# The garage is all yours.

# You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

# You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.

# Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.

# You never have to clean the toilet.

# You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.

# Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

# Wedding plans take care of themselves.

# If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be you friend.

# Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.

# The National College Cheerleading Championship

# None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.

# You don't have to shave below your neck.

# You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.

# If you're 34 and single, nobody notices.

# You can write your name in the snow.

# You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

# Everything on your face stays its original color.

# Chocolate is just another snack.

# You can be president.

# You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.

# Flowers fix everything.

# You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

# You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

# You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

# Three pair of shoes are more than enough.

# You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

# You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

# Foreplay is optional.

# Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

# Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.

# You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

# You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.

# You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

# Car mechanics tell you the truth.

# You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.

# You can watch a game in silence with your buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)

# The world is your urinal.

# You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.

# You get to jump up and slap stuff.

# Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

# One mood, all the time.

# You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

# You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.

# You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

# You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.

# Same work....more pay.

# Gray hair and wrinkles add character.

# You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

# Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

# You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.

# With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

# You don't mooch off others' desserts.

# If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

# The remote is yours and yours alone.

# People never glance at your chest when your talking to them.

# ESPN's sports center.

# You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.

# Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.

# You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

# You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

# You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

# If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell you friends you've changed.

# Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

# You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"

# If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.

# Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.

# The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

# You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.

# You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.

# If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.

# New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

# Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.

# You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.

# Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.

# Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So... notice anything different?"

# Baywatch

# There is always a game on somewhere

a new smiley:Peach: lol?




Jill

Idiot Action-Adventure Girl

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8th July 2006

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#2 13 years ago

Gee...after reading all that...it is just so darn depressing being a girl. ;)




affeee

Proud to be an FH player

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15th January 2006

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#3 13 years ago

lol so true :lol:




Cloak Raider

Awkward...

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12th March 2006

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#4 13 years ago

I got a laugh from this. Add one saying "The kitchen isn't your home" =P




Revenge Advanced Member

Shizzle my nizzle

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28th July 2004

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#5 13 years ago
# Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

Just thought I'd highlight the best bit of the list...




Mastershroom Advanced Member

Frag Out!

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18th November 2004

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#6 13 years ago

Heh, good stuff. Might wanna add somewhere that we don't bleed out of our genitals on a monthly basis. Can't imagine that's much of an advantage for the women folk...




Guest

I didn't make it!

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#7 13 years ago
# The world is your urinal.

So true, lol




Homer Gonerson

...

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22nd December 2003

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#8 13 years ago
# You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.

Heh, so true. Where'd you find this list?




Roaming East

Ultima ratio regum

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7th November 2005

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#9 13 years ago

You left out my personal favorite being stylish can consist of Jeans and a T-shirt. or Saving money actually means not spending it.




Crazy Wolf Advanced Member

Snipes With Artillery

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22nd March 2005

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#10 13 years ago

I laughed at

teh funneh list#you think the idea of punting a small dog is funny