American Reality Journal 10 replies

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Dot Com

I'm too cool to Post

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26th June 2000

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#1 10 years ago

Here is part of an incomplete work of mine that is a satire of American life. This is a supposed journal entry from a random "joe/jane" in Jerkwater, U.S.A.

“American Reality Journal”

I eat my fast food without prejudice, drive my SUV in style, and crank up the pop to the 11 mark. Does anybody know the latest news on Britney Spears or Paris Hilton? I was going to buy a tabloid, but they were all out at the supermarket. Anyways, as I drive down main street, there are a plethora of buildings that habitually sport grey slabs of concrete set to rectangular designs. The corporate landscape soothes my soul and relaxes my thought on the slim possibility of monetary failure. Losing my house, car, and possessions is just an imagined nightmare that will never occur. I’ve only maxed out 3 credit cards and another is on the way, so no worries. The traffic is horrendous at rush hour and gas prices are through the roof. Some misguided citizens have suggested such things as public transportation expansion to improve both of those grievances. Nuts to them, I say. Honestly, I would rather not have my triple mocha latte and other essential purchases be taxed. Hold on a second, a new crunk song is on the radio called “girl, u know I want u”. Let me turn it up!

“Girl, you know I want you. Girl, you know I need you. Girl, lets hop into my caddy and drive. Lets turn up the beat and get off of our feet. Lets dance the night away and love each other. You tease me with your love, and you’re pretty as a dove. Baby, you know it’s so damn true…”

Oh yeah, that’s one of my favorite songs. The lyrics are totally deep and the beat is poppin’. Sometimes I like to listen to hard rock (I.E. Fallout Boy), but mostly I like to listen to these tripped-out, crunkified head boppers. Well, I’m in my driveway…I’ll talk you when I get in the house.

-----------------

Ah, home sweet home. Let me turn on the television. Ugh, a news flash said somebody was shot on 3rd street. Even though I love to see terrorists and their family members with their guts hanging out on Fox News, it just tears me up inside to hear about somebody in our community being brutally murdered. What a waste. This is depressing, so I’ll change the channel to something else. Oh my, those African-American women in New Guinea have their breasts hanging out! I’m glad that the FCC banned those puppies from cable viewers. My priest calls breasts “deviant-bags”. He says that touching them or touching any gentile will unleash the gateway to hell’s furious wrath. I believe him, though he’s being indicted over some issue with the altar boy.

Comments and feelings on it are encouraged. :)




AegenemmnoN VIP Member

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#2 10 years ago

I don't know how you've been following me around...BUT STOP IT!

It's pretty good stuff...But I don't know anyone like that, personally. :p




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#3 10 years ago

AegenemmnoN;4252517I don't know how you've been following me around...BUT STOP IT!

It's pretty good stuff...But I don't know anyone like that, personally. :p

Pretty much the same here.




Karst

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6th January 2005

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#4 10 years ago

Well it's obviously a satirical exaggeration and a very accurate one at that :) Course, there probably are at least a couple of people that are exactly like that. Horribly.




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#5 10 years ago
Karst;4252551Well it's obviously a satirical exaggeration and a very accurate one at that :)

Not really, it's a satire not on the average American but on the stereotype of the average American. I've met literally thousands of people, and I've never met anyone even close to resembling that. And it's not a very good satire at that, i hate to say it. I'm a big fan of satire, especially satire about America because I have a close understanding of the country so the satire tends to be funnier to me, but this really just isn't that good, I'm sorry to say. It's far to "obvious" I guess I would say. Though that isn't quite what the problem is. Satire is generally better when it's very subtle.

Plus I know Jeffro can do better. =p




RadioactiveLobster Forum Admin

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#6 10 years ago

I pretty much agree with Afterburner on this one.

Its a good start, and goes straight for all the typical American sterotypes but it comes on too strong I think


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#7 10 years ago

Afterburner;4252599Not really, it's a satire not on the average American but on the stereotype of the average American. I've met literally thousands of people, and I've never met anyone even close to resembling that. And it's not a very good satire at that, i hate to say it. I'm a big fan of satire, especially satire about America because I have a close understanding of the country so the satire tends to be funnier to me, but this really just isn't that good, I'm sorry to say. It's far to "obvious" I guess I would say. Though that isn't quite what the problem is. Satire is generally better when it's very subtle.

Plus I know Jeffro can do better. =p

Well, please take into account that I'm not a writer. ;)

I just wrote this off the top of my head and didn't really consider subtly, metaphor, structure, and other important elements in writing. I just needed to see if I even had a good start to this or whether to continue it. You can't polish a turd...




themanclaw

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#8 10 years ago

I think its pretty accurate, especially if you head into more conservative parts of America.




Exploder

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#9 10 years ago

I don't know how to describe it...a bit too blatant or in-your-face or words like that...it would be better it it were more subtle, Simpsons style.




AlDaja

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#10 10 years ago

It’s a good start, defiantly satire (or truth to those who believe the satire, and too bad for them – we call that ignorance), but yeah, I’ve never really met anyone like that either, but it is easily identified as a stereotype for pseudo Younger Americana and the “can I still be your sister if we get a divorce”, southern redneck.




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