An oldie, but a goodie 32 replies

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I'm too cool to Post

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16th September 2003

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#1 16 years ago

President George Bush was in the Oval Office wondering which country to invade next,when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, President Bush" a heavily accented voice said. This is Archie, over the water, in Dublin. I am callin' to tells ya dat we are officially declaring war on you ey!"

Well Archie," George replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Archie, after a moments calculation "there is myself, me cousin Harold, me next-door-neighbour Mick, and the whole dart team from the pub. That makes eight!" George paused. "I must tell you Archie, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command. "Holy mackerel," said Archie. "I'll have ta call ya back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. "Mr. Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!" "And what equipment would that be Archie?", George asked. "Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry's farm tractor." President Bush sighed. "I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armoured personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke." "Lard T'arnation, bye", said Archie, "I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day. "President Bush, the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an' modified Harrigan's ultra-light wit a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four byes from the Legion have joined us as well!" George was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!" "Jeysus, Mary and Joseph," said Archie,"I'll have ta call youse back." Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. "President Bush! I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off dis 'ere war." "I'm sorry to hear that" said George. "Why the sudden change of heart?" "Well, sir," said Archie, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a bunch of pints, and come to realize dat dere's no way we can feed two million prisoners." IRISH CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN

CorT Advanced Member


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2nd April 2003

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#2 16 years ago

yeah, i (slightly) remember this. very good :D

M!tch Advanced Member

intermittently erratic

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12th March 2004

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#3 16 years ago

:rofl: thats a good one :thumbsup:

or is it true?

Thinking about it.

AegenemmnoN Advanced Member

The cream of the crop

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19th August 2003

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#4 16 years ago

HAHAHHAHAHAH! best joke ive seen in a while.

Μαjïç MushrøøM

I would die without GF

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29th November 2003

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#5 16 years ago

That is utterly hilarious AzH. A perfect reverse ending. :lol:


RogueDevil / Rogue Angel

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29th May 2003

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#6 16 years ago

Excellente el presidente.

QUite funny that was.


90% sarcastic

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8th July 2003

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#7 16 years ago

Man, those

Admiral Donutz Advanced Member

Wanna go Double Dutch?

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9th December 2003

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#8 16 years ago

new to me, a good one azh! It made me smile! :nodding:

those crazy irishman, couldn't do without them.

Mihail Advanced Member

President of Novistrana

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19th January 2003

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#9 16 years ago

never heard of it before, it's okay, not too funny, kinda boring but the the ending was a pleasent enough.


Ex-MøđęRāŧǿr ø₣ Geňęrāł Gāmíňĝ

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31st January 2004

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#10 16 years ago

lol, good joke, crazy Irish roll%20eyes%20%28sarcastic%29.gif Not heard that one before either.