End to Friendship 14 replies

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#1 6 years ago

I just wanted to ask for some advice!

Awhile back I had a wonderful group of friends! We had some pretty crazy times! They also got me threw the worst of times. You could not separate any of us! We all had each others backs no matter what! We were all around each other so much we all pretty moved in together! Did everything together! They were like my brothers, my best friends.

But soon, I decided to stop partying. I am now settling down, becoming a mother!

But does that mean I am no longer fun? Does that mean I have changed for the worst or something?

They all just stopped talking to me and inviting me out.

They all just don't party 24/7. We all use to have video game or movie nights, go out to eat. And I'm not one of those girls who are like "OMG BABY BABY BABY BELLY BABY BABY" I only talk about it when people ask.

So my question is, should I just move on, get new friends? Just bugging me is all and some advice would be great!




Primarch Vulkan VIP Member

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#2 6 years ago

nah you don't need new friends, as you told us they got you threw the worst of times. I'd say if they did that they are your true friends.


[color=#000000][size=2][b][i]Heralds of the coming doom, Like the cry of the Raven, we are drawn, This oath of war and vengeance, On a blade of exalted iron sworn, With blood anointed swords



Silberio VIP Member

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#3 6 years ago

I'm pretty sure there are people around here with much better advice than me, but I'll try to lay down a few cards that might help, I hope =p

First of all, I really doubt you've change for worse... Now, I don't think you could've changed much because you're pregnant. Yes, you will have to stay away from most of the things that usually are fun, such as drinking and well... stuff ._.

BUT it doesn't mean you can't have fun, IMO; just do so in a little more carefuler way than before. The other thing is that you might have to (or probably are already) mature... Which is nothing bad, but it might keep you away from things you used to do.

I don't think you should move on and find new friends... As you tell me, these ones. you had a really good relationship with; I know the feeling... Me and my group are now all scattered, since two moved back to Chile, one moved to another part of the city, and two others go to different schools... And I'm paying more attention to my relationship than my friends now... :uhm: The point is, that you can still keep them as friends; probably still the best friends, because if you ever find at least one that goes with you as pork n' BBQ sauce, you ought to stick by that person... And it ain't too easy to get un-friends also =p what I think, is that they might see you as... More fragile, considering you're pregnant, and don't wanna cause any trouble.

Maybe you could speak to them and ask if they still want to hang out or so? Or if they're worried that you're pregnant and that's why they don't ask you out anymore...? Just be straight and neat on the topic... And always the truth and respect in front of all :nodding:

Hope I am of help; back to my mothership now :don:


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Lindale Forum Mod

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#4 6 years ago

[COLOR=SeaGreen]Not at all. It means you are maturing, and you have reached the next stage of your life. At this point, life is no longer about you. You now have a child to think about, caring for him, providing his education, preparing him for his future. You have reached the age where you must now learn to take tare of others. As for these friends, their behaviour is because they have not yet matured. That does not necessarily mean you should leave them behind. Someday, the same will happen to them, and they will realize why you did what you did. If nothing ever changes though, and they begin to be nothing more than a hindrance, the time will come when you will have to sever all ties to them. It may be difficult, but it is for the best, for all of you. I wish you the best of luck. May Óðinn guide you in your endeavour. [/COLOR]


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Antilles VIP Member

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#5 6 years ago

I think Lindale nailed it when he said your friends just havent Matured yet.

Whats happening with you, probably just freaks them out, though they wouldnt admit it. It means a part of their life is ending, and another is going to being, one where you wont be together as much, and you have other people to worry about.

Honestly, in the end, it will turn out alright. If they truly are your best friends, you'll get over it, and have fun together again.

I was in somewhat of a similar situation with my friends. I started hanging out with other people, having fun with them. But now with High School over, I realized that my old friends are my best friends. Honestly, you havent changed. Become mature yes. They just need to realize that, even though you may be becoming a mother, it doesn't change who you are as a person. More responsible, and less available, yes, but you are still you. This is what they have to realize.

And they will, so, just be patient.

But that doesnt mean you cant still make new friend in the process! Its always fun to meet new people!

EDIT: I feel like I repeated myself a little :P


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Lindale Forum Mod

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#6 6 years ago

[COLOR=SeaGreen]Soon, you will also find a whole new world or friends opening to you. Take it from me, making friends with other parents will help make you a better parent yourself. They will also be the ones who will stand by you when things seem to be going awry. When you need advice, they will be the ones you can go to, and should go to. [/COLOR]


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MoreGun89

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#7 6 years ago

I think Lindale has said everything I was going to say lol, you will be a fantastic mother and your friends will come around eventually :)


Mother Banhammer



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#8 6 years ago

We have all been out of High School for over four years now. But it just seems like I have always been maturing faster then they have. I have always bad luck with friends, even the people I did hang with when I was younger and in High School I always felt like they acted so childish. Not saying I acted stuck up or anything. But when they were like "LET'S GO ACT ANNOYING AT THE MALL, EGG A HOUSE or GET SUPER WASTED AND DO SOMETHING REALLY really STUPID" Every group I had in High School was then exact same, and honestly I didn't wanna do that stuff. My whole life I have always felt a little older then I actually am.

You guys have gave some good advice! I am excited to be a mother. For some reason I am excited for the sleepless nights and the crying! And yeah, I'm not going to ditch them, but I think I'm just going to let them do their own thing and I do mine. But I guess I do see them maturing some. Few in college and a few others have excellent jobs now, and they are sticking with it, which makes me really happy.

I still do have my best friend of 15 years, though I never see her anymore because her job is insane. And my boyfriend, soon to be husband is here with me, and honestly I have not got along with anyone better in my life then him. So that's why I'm not completely upset about never seeing them anymore, just sort of sucks is all.

We are all going different ways in life and perhaps I will find some others friends who are more like me and my boyfriend.




Lindale Forum Mod

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#9 6 years ago

[COLOR=SeaGreen]Remember, we will always be here for you as well. I wish you the best. [/COLOR]


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Flash525

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#10 6 years ago

Before I get started on replying to specific quotes (if I do at all) I'll say this; friends come and go (throughout life). Few people stick with the very first few friends they make, that's probably junior school, if not before.

People grow up differently, people make different life choices, people move, people get career choices. There's hundreds of reasons why friendships don't last. Some aren't meant too, others you pick up again in the future (old friends become friends again).

LustyxChan;5614769But soon, I decided to stop partying. I am now settling down, becoming a mother!

But does that mean I am no longer fun? Does that mean I have changed for the worst or something?[/QUOTE]I'd say you've changed; you're going to be a mum. That's a pretty big (and responsible) step. You've no doubt grown up over the last few years whereas they... might not have.

LustyxChan;5614769They all just stopped talking to me and inviting me out.

Curious, but why not try inviting them round one evening? Obviously you can't get on the drink, but you can all catch up, or go out for a meal or something. If they refuse to see or speak to you, then quite simply, think of it as their loss.

There is only so much you should be expected to do for them to which a point comes where you give up.

[QUOTE=LustyxChan;5614769]So my question is, should I just move on, get new friends? Just bugging me is all and some advice would be great!

I'd say both. Attempt to reconcile with your old friends, whilst at the same time, try to make new ones. If your old ones don't make the effort, then a time has come in your life where you need to go your separate ways.

Don't think there is much left for me to say. Everyone else has covered it. :)




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