A jealous husband hired a private detective to check on the movements of his wife. The husband wanted more than a written report; he wanted video of his wife's activities.
A week later, the detective returned with a video. They sat down together to watch it. Although the quality was less than professional, the man saw his wife meeting another man! He saw the two of them laughing in the park.
He saw them enjoying themselves at an outdoor caf. He saw them dancing in a dimly lit nightclub. He saw the man and his wife participate in a dozen activities with utter glee.
"I just can't believe this," the distraught husband said.
The detective said, "What's not to believe? It's right up there on the screen."
The husband replied, "I just can't believe that my wife could be so much fun."
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you dont mind, but I feel much luckier when Im completely nude." With that she strips naked from her neck down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Momma needs new clothes!" Then she hollers..."YES! YES! I WON! I WON!"
Then she begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers.
With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealers just stare at each other dumbfounded. Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?". The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"
A teacher asks her class "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on Little Johnny and he replies, "None, they all fly away with the first gun shot"
The teacher replies "The correct answer is 4 but I like your thinking."
Then Johnny says "I have a question for you. There are three women sitting on a bench having ice cream. One delicately licks the sides of the ice cream scoop. The second gobbles down the top and sucks the cone, and the third bites off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher blushing a great deal replied "Well I suppose the one that gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"
To which Little Johnny replied. "The correct answer is the one with a wedding ring on, but I like your thinking!"
Wanna go Double Dutch?
9th December 2003
hehe, the last one was funny although the other one was also good.
i like. they are all so very funny. great find.
they were both funny.
lol, I like the last one the best.