So, another thread me seeking advice.
About a month into my pregnancy it started getting really hard on me. I could barely move, couldn't keep much food down, in pain a lot, I even lost almost ten pounds which I shouldn't be losing, but gaining. I couldn't even stand up for two minutes without feeling dizzy and sick. Anywho, missed two straight weeks of work and when it wasn't going away and my doctor said I would probably be this way for awhile, my boyfriend told me to quit my job. We were planning on me quitting my job when I was about seven months anyway, get ready for the baby and would be able to stay home and take care of the baby.
Not going to lie, I hate working, and I was excited when he suggested that I stay home and quit my job. We are both against daycares (I have worked at two different daycares in the past, I know how they work and I really don't trust them). Planning on staying home with the kid until they reach grade school, then go back to college.
He has a great paying job right now. It's really hard and works ten hour shifts. He has always done physical labor before but, since he started this job he has had back and knee problems. It's really hard on him..
He wants to go back to school, but he would have to quit his job and get a low paying job and less hours. I support him all the way, I want him to be happy and I hate seeing him kill himself at this job. He has a interview tomorrow and if he gets it he is putting in his two weeks at this job, then going to go to school.
Okay here is the problem. I just feel really useless. Here he is working hard, bringing in money for us and I'm just staying at home doing nothing right now. And when he gets this low paying job we are going to be living paycheck to paycheck, and I won't be bring in nothing and he will be taking care of two other people. I told him I could get a job and help, but he told me no. He says it's our money, but I feel like it should be more his money, but he disagrees. So I never ask for anything only important things, like if I need new pants or shampoo. He can tell if I really want something like a video game or whatever and he'll buy it for me without me asking. It wouldn't bother me if I was working too and I would consider it our money, but I'm not working... I know I can't help why I'm jobless right now, I was planning on saving up money for us for a good seven months, but that didn't happen.
I just feel really bad, he is doing everything and I feel like I'm doing nothing. I try my best to help, clean the house, cook.. But when he is killing himself to support us and when he gets this new job and will be fighting to support us.. I just don't know what to do :/
Honestly, I think you're doing the right thing and I don't think you have any reason to feel bad or useless. You're pregnant for crying out loud. It's also good that both you and him agree on you staying home. I definitely condone the idea of choosing not to use a daycare too. Good job.
As for his work situation, as long as he can provide for you, himself, and your soon-to-be child, he should do as he pleases. Be prepared to cutback on some things, finding work may be hard too, but it sounds like you two got it going pretty good. Y'all have a solid plan and anything more at this point is just bonus.
Best of luck to you guys. :)
10th September 2007
Definitely a great idea to stay home, I too am against day-cares because it ultimately should be the parents who are responsible for raising their children. Unfortunately, because of the state of our economy there are far too many parents who have to work multiple jobs just to make ends-meet. As a result, a lot of children don't get to be raised by their parents and more or less by television, teachers, and their friends.
So great for you wanting to be there your child, and I wish you luck with everything :)
"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.
Being a mother is already a full time job. It's also one of the highest salaried jobs since the payment is pure love. ;)
Eeeeww, I made a non-perverted post. *runs off to the Perv Nightclub thread* =p
7th December 2003
If it bothers you so much you could work from home or prepare for a future job.
10th September 2007
^That too, there are plenty of stay-at-home opportunities as well.
"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.
My dream in life is to have a family. If I could get myself in a position where my wife didn't have to work, however difficult, I would. Not in a sexist way, but I would want her to be comfortable, and I would be honored to do so.
You haven't mentioned any arguments over this - and I think that means he doesn't think you are useless. You say you are both against day care - staying at home with your child gives you a huge opportunity to bond with them, lay foundations for eduction and morals etc. I know that's a bit further ahead, but I believe if he earns enough for you to continue in this fashion, and is happy to do so, then it will become applicable before you know it ;).
I don't know what else to say. I can't stop you feeling how you feel, but I can say that without a shadow of a doubt, what you are to your fella and you baby is far from the term 'useless'.
Voice of joy and sunshine
26th May 2003
Could always take the opportunity to learn a language or read about childcare or something.
He has money, you have pregnancy boobs. I'd say you're about even.