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#1 4 years ago

Okay, so I'm generally alone in real life, all friends I had in High school vanished off the face of the island when we graduated. I kept in contact with only one friend for one more year, after that she left too. Nobody bothered to stay in contact after that. I sent that particular friend a few messages in Xmas to meet up, she didn't bother to respond. Like I do with anyone who doesn't want to talk to me, I stopped talking to her too. Perhaps it wasn't the best decision, but I have no interest in pestering someone who is not a friend. So, today, roughly 6 months later, I met with her family accidentally in the street (while walking home). Her family are nice people, she is a nice person, it was fun when we were friends. They told me she said that everyone from High school forgot about her, that nobody bothers to talk to her etc etc (pretty much what I'm saying too). So here's the thing, after this not-so-short intro. Why should I be the one chasing my friends around all the time? If somebody wants to talk to me, they can. Granted, they might be busy, but not for six months when they continuously post status updates on fb. Does this mean I have no friends who really miss me, and it's all a big pile of bull, or does this mean that the most interesting people are the ones most difficult to get in touch with? Should I pester a friend who's rare to show their face or not?




Mr. Matt VIP Member

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#2 4 years ago

Here's the cool thing about friends - you'll meet new ones.

I have all of two friends who I'm close enough with to actually have meaningful conversations with, and neither of them come from my childhood. I also hang out with a couple of people who *were* in my year at school, but I never even spoke to them until years later when I bumped into them in the pub.

The problem with school friends is that you're only friends with each other because you were trapped in the same building together for ten years and didn't annoy each other enough to be enemies. The odds of meeting a proper friend in that situation are slim.

It will take time but you'll do fine. I had no friends for a couple of years after school. It sucked, but in the end you'll meet someone who genuinely enjoys your company, and vice-versa.




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#3 4 years ago

It's just strange how people can say that they miss me and never bother to talk to me. I will pester people I like and are friendly to me, but only to a point.




Mr. Matt VIP Member

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#4 4 years ago

People are two-faced liars, as a rule. They don't like confrontation, and are almost as afraid of rejecting people as most people are of being rejected.

I went out with a girl once who, once she'd had enough of me, refused to dump me. Literally, she could not say any words that would lead to the end of our relationship. In the beginning I had no idea that this was even a thing, as we knew each other well and she gave no indication of it. She strung me along, and seemingly would have done so indefinitely had I not realised what was going on, until after a couple of weeks or so I figured it out. After that, and some emo shit I'm not proud of, I made a game out of getting her to agree to meet me every week, knowing full well that she wouldn't.

She was so extreme in her "let's pretend everything is fine" act, that I reckon if I sent her a text right now in an attempt to arrange a date, she'd say "yeah, sure, let's get frisky!" even though we haven't spoken in years.

My point (if I have one, by this stage) is that people don't always mean what they say. Most people are liars. Damn liars. And charlatans.




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#5 4 years ago

It's true. That's why I follow a very simple rule: DON'T MAKE FRIENDS ^_^

I hope that makes you feel better =p


"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.



Mr. Matt VIP Member

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#6 4 years ago

Make friends, just make sure that you make the right friends.




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#7 4 years ago

I don't know. Not all people are liars. I guess that if we meet after all this, I'll still be friendly and see what's up. Because she has been a proven friend in the past, but she's notoriously forgetful, I always needed to jump-start her memory about most stuff. We'll continue to be friends, until I can figure out if it's simple forgetfulness or she doesn't want me as a friend anymore.




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#8 4 years ago

Mates shouldn't need to decipher the intentions of other mates.




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#9 4 years ago
Mr. Matt;5738650Make friends, just make sure that you make the right friends.

Mmm, 'tis true. It just takes a lot of (painful) experience =p

Kind of reminds me of this:


"I'd shush her zephyr." ~ Zephyr.



MoreGun89

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#10 4 years ago

Yeah, in cases like this, maybe? It seems sketchy.

I got rid of my Facebook nearly a year ago, it had all of my school friends. First few days were a little depressing, but now I can't remember most of their names or faces. Actually it was an odd sense of relief that I didn't have to worry about knowing so many people anymore that I wasn't buddy-buddy with.

I'm learning how to make friends with people you aren't forced to be around. Be mindful as a guy in our culture, most women will be skittish. Strangers are terrifying, you don't know if they're trying to be nice or are screwed up in the head. Be patient, give it time. Be indirect at first in addressing people, this will let you gauge if they are chatty or want to be left alone too. :)


Mother Banhammer



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